Partner, pub, baby...

[whoru]

My PFB is just under 3 weeks old. My partner works away (overnights) at least 2/3 of our lives. Partner has just asked (in front of his friend to leave no room for discussion ) whether I mind if he 'goes out for a beer' (aka goes out and gets so drunk I wouldn't allow him in our house) next Wednesday (he's away at least 2/3 nights before then. Not that he helps at night but does in evenings and morning ngs. He regularly goes to the pub after work anyway and has done several times since the baby arrived.

AIBU to think it's a bit bloody rich to leave me for yet another 24hr+ period to facilitate his drink dependency habit.

I haven't said anything I'm mulling it over. I just told him to certainty not bother getting a late train home as he is/can be an abusive, unpleasant drunk.

Where did you all find your flawless men then

Who in gods name calls someone a sailor these days? isn't it a naval officer or whatever? Also OP if he works hard and provides well what is the issue with him going to see his mates? Surely when he's back on land he has as much right to see them as you?

Oh and I found mine in the pub

Yes he's a loser. Has friends, has colleagues, goes out with them sometimes... asks if I mind. Provides handsomely and unquestioningly for me so I can stay at home with the baby, runs around trying to make our lives better in big and small ways, is kind and generous, I'm such a dumb bitch, all those perfectly whipped men that you lot married, they didn't want me I'm too fucking stupid,

Why are you so angry. People are responding to a picture you have painted to comments you have made. Any impression you have given has come from you.

Perhaps you need to look at why you are angry and who you are angry at?

Truthfully though 3 weeks in maybe you do need a conversation that life has changed and that maybe constantly being down the pub is not what you want. And that if he becomes an abusive person when drinking that is not a good thing either

he's not in the navy but thanks for the schooling Wando. My posts are the ones in green btw.

OP: AIBU to not want DP to be a dickhead
PPs: YANBU to not want DP to be a dickhead
OP: [rage post that PPs might have thought DP is a dickhead]

Where did you all find your flawless men then

Wow OP, what low standards you have!

You're only so angry and defensive because you know we're all right, and you realise what a mistake you've made. That's ok.

Pasta people are making some spectacular assumptions. No rage here I assure you.

The thing is though, your life changes when you've had a baby. You have a newborn and he needs to be helping.

He has a responsibility to you and your child. You say he can be abusive when drunk - why then does he get so drunk if he knows that's what it will do to him?

You're obviously not happy with the situation otherwise you wouldn't have posted.

I don't have a man at all. I'd rather be on my own than put up with crap. My ExH used to go to the pub every day after work and didn't lift a finger to help me with childcare. I LTB and ironically he does more with DS now than he did when we were together because I'm not there on his contact days to do it all.

I'm off to contemplate my grievous failings now. Bye! [hides thread, rolls eyes]

It's very sad that you think any man who is not an abusive drunk is "whipped".

Enjoy your nice life, I'm out.

Not really spectacular assumptions when you outlined exactly what a drunken twat he is.

Up to you if you want to settle for so little though.

Well that was pointless....

Hang on, you said 'dependency' when referring to his alcohol intake, that he's nasty and abusive when drunk?!

Now you're getting arsey and saying its once every couple of months, and that he's loveliness' personified?! Which is it?

He's a grown man - of course you can't prevent him going.

But given how arsey you are getting to people, I can't imagine why he wouldn't spend every moment with you

And the flouncer of the year award goes to ..... the OP 😆😆😆😆

I think we all feel a bit short changed Smeaton

Why are you all being so bloody mean to this poor woman. She was asking for a bit of advise, not a slaying from you perfect creatures. She has just given birth and this is obviously a massive change for both of them. Get off your frigging high horses and cut her some slack. I'd hate to have you as friends if I needed a shoulder.
OP hunni, you know it's not great that he becomes an arsehole when he's been drinking. Maybe you can say to him, look things need to be different now LO is here. Good luck chick xxx

That's better

You sound like the mum of a teenager. And he is acting like one. How old are you both?

1. Why does he feel he need to ask your permission?
2. Why are you living with an abusive drunk?
3. Why did you even consider having a baby with a man your clearly don't like very much.

WTF is the point of writing 'hunni'? I mean, hun is bad enough (and quite confusing for some people from NI/Scotland), but honey has the same number of letters !!

good luck chick This isn't net huns 😆😆😆😆