Aibu to not want a brand new HA home

[Beautyisintheeyeofthebeholder]

Im in the extremely fortunate position to have been offered a brand new house.
I'm considering saying no. To give some background, my current home needs repairs and I have noise issues with the neighbours, however my child has autism and has expressed that they cannot cope with the change and does not want to leave curent home/friends/family/school. The house is a is a distance away and I will be leaving all of my friends and family and support too, the house is in a rough area however the estate is enclosed and secure. . I'm considering saying no because of these reasons but i could use some perspective . Please advise many thanks

Ynbu. We have just been offered a brand new house too, its not a done deal they're coming out to ours next Wednesday. I bid on it because we need extra space and I thought a new house would be nice. It was one of 3 I bid on. However I didn't realise how far from the school it is. I don't drive and it would be a good half an hours walk and awful on a rainy day and only half of the estate has actually been built so there will be building noise and dust. I'm in 2 minds now.

I think I would say no on the provision that the HA is potentially going to do the repairs on your house?

An older house if well maintained is just as nice as a new house. You may find noise issues with your neighbours in the new house too as you often hear people in new builds complaining about noise from next door (although I live in a new build and haven't come across this so it's not every house)

I think the most important factor though is your son and the support systems you have around you. A major upset like a house move can be hard for any child to get over let alone one who has autism. And leaving your friends and family would be very difficult, I wouldn't recommend it.

Are you happy in your house at the minute though? Is it in such disrepair that it makes you feel down?

It's so tough isn't it? I can drive but I'm in uni most days so I can't take/pick up dc to school. Plus I'm on my own and not sure how I'd feel being away from the small support network I have. But the house is fantastic really lovely however smaller than my current home.

It's exactly what I had to do and it worked out for the best. With the exception it's a flat not a house. We double bused back to the original school and then eventually changed to a near school which was more supportive of his autism anyway.

The area we live in is beyond rough, dangerously so, but a home is a home. If it's a choice between a roof over heads and nothing, the roof must come first.

We originally moved to the town we are in now because the rent on the house was cheap but I've never been happy here. We are stuck here now really because I wouldn't want to change the boys school

Our best move ever was to a HA house - we got an overlap due to circumstances and as a result, spent a week decorating (older house) and being in the house before we moved. DS2 chose his room, the colours and a new bed in that time and I would say this is his favourite house ever.

However, what about the school? What level of support does your DS get now? What pre- or after- school care will he need and is it available and will it work for him? Does the new school get his needs because if they don't a move will be horrendous?
It does take a while to build up a new support network anywhere. What, if any, clubs, leisure facilities, libraries, parks are there near to the new house? Is there an AS group?
I think you do the pro-/con- list. To make a move worthwhile, the pro- list has to considerably out weigh the con - .
Hard decision but it is still lovely to have a choice.

I originally applied to be closer to my uni campus, it takes 15 mins off my current journey (50 mins) and I wouldn't have to pay tolls. It was only the 3rd house i bid on.
My own home is 3 bed this home is 2 bed.
The ha are slow for doing repairs I desperately need a new bathroom which they are dragging their feet replacing (think 70/80s ) and my kitchen has very few kitchen cupboards due to past tenants poor layout choices. I keep some of my food in my electric meter cupboard (under stairs) which is damp and smelly. New house is much smaller but more workable if you see what I mean. I wish I had more time to decide I need to let them know today 😕

I'm enquiring about keeping the school the same and trying to get local authority transport as it's gcse year, currently my ex partner does the school runs for me but this could not continue if I move as it's too far to expect him to carry on with this. Will do pros and cons. The ha have said they are vetting every new tenant carefully and there should be no issues. House itself is close to city centre but not sure what support groups are available may look into that.

Any more insight ? Getting stressed out 🙁

You have my sympathy

I have a DS (now 20). The biggest stress I have ever put on him apparently was the suggestion that we move house- I'm in HA and needed more room.
We didn't in the end and the decision was the right one for him. I'd push to see if you can get the work done on your existing home or at least hold out for something much closer. Your support network is underestimated and should your DS be struggling with change, you'll need it even more.

What has your son said about it so far? Or does he not know?

He knows MumIsRunning, and is dead set against the idea. It's too much upheaval and fear of the unknown. I just feel sad I'm potentially letting a lovely home go. I don't think I can accept it. I thought he would come around and he hasn't.

Are you at uni as a student? If so, you won't be there for ever, and would the new house be where you could get work?

MY HA let me move temporarily while the repairs were being done. Would that be an option, and would your DS be able to accept it? then you could trial the new place and see what happens.

Taking up 2 tenancies? Doubt that's an option

Yeah I'm a uni student. I'm in healthcare I can go wherever really . I just spoke to my ha who aren't willing to replace what's needed. Sigh
This is extremely tough

Don't think I can trial run another home. As a pp said, its two tenancies

I'd move in your position

Beauty, you're the Mum. I'm no expert on autism but your DS will always have change to deal with, it will take him longer to adjust and it may well be murder for a while, but in the end he will settle. You have to do what's best for your future prospects. If your house is that bad there may be health risks etc. in staying. But yes networks and school really important. Tricky, sometimes choice is worse. Good luck whatever you decide

yanbu

Try and focus on the positives. My dh has phoned up and asked about house we have been offered. We were 6th and there are 5 brand new houses. We just got in because one didn't have a local connection. I don't think the chance will come again. Would you be able to swap in the future if not happy? A new build might be more desirable for someone.

It's practical and cosmetic repairs that need doing in my current home. The kitchen and bathroom are dire. Just not workable. They need refitting. The thing is too I'd always wanted a 2nd child and I wouldn't be able to in the new 2 bed place

Are you accepting yours thecatsarecrazy? Wishing you lots of luck whichever way