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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think we're not rolling in it financially?

84 replies

FannyShmeller · 10/05/2017 20:57

That's what we earn between us. I have a baby due in November. First DC. £45K a year between us.

A friend of mine thinks I must be rolling in it, as apparently 45K is beyond her wildest dreams. They're honest people - I can't imagine them cheating the system. Yet they earn considerably less, she works part time and they have money for treats, holidays etc. I'm a bit Confused... I obviously must be doing something wrong! Yet they live in the same area and their rent is the same.

Our rent is £1150 pcm. Including anything utility bill reacted, that's about £1350.. I have included council tax etc in that amount.

Childcare is £60 a day Shock That is over £1200 a month.

We live and work within London, yet travel isn't cheap either. That's another £££ a week gone.

We shop a very basic Aldi shop, and even then will have to closely watch pennies when paying for childcare.

We have no money for treats. Not at all.

AIBU to say we're far from rolling in it? We would seriously consider moving out but DH just started a new career turn and he can't up sticks right now due to just starting, he needs to work in this job for a while. I can move jobs (NHS), fairly easily, I guess... I just hope it'll be easier when we are finally able to move out of the City.

OP posts:
Original poster
FannyShmeller · 10/05/2017 21:50

d2 If that is the case then shouldn't couples on our income get financial top up due to them being better off if they didn't work?

I'm not trying to say we should be entitled to this, that and the other but surely it shouldn't work out that I'm in a poorer situation working?

Such a shame. I made the effort to come away from ESA to work and provide better for my family/have better quality of life.

This was before marrying DH though so I think times have changed. I don't want to claim anything from anyone, I want to work.

But it looks as if, if I quit my job - I can be better off not working and just DH working.

OP posts:
happypoobum · 10/05/2017 21:52

phiney OP rents and her friend pays the same rent as she does.

d270r0 · 10/05/2017 21:52

You won't be any better off by going part time. As on those days you will still need to pay childcare and transport.
It may be an idea to become a sahm for the time being, until your children are in school as then childcare should become much cheaper.
If you think you might get a pay increase or new job that pays more, you could still make a little money by continuing working, or if you can get smaller childcare or transport costs.
Also once you have 2 children childcare costs will go up massively.

Original poster
FannyShmeller · 10/05/2017 21:53

Hi all,

We have done a few different calculators and I can clarify that we aren't entitled to anything. Just CB x

OP posts:
missanony · 10/05/2017 21:53

Is that £45k your take home? That would make you comfortable, just about. Londoners usually have no car costs but do pay for commuting, so swings and roundabouts there. Housing is awful though.

Do use childcare vouchers if your employers are signed up. You can get them after birth so you can start saving them up in your maternity leave.

Unless you're relatively low paid, your daily take home is more than a days childcare fee for one child.

clumsyduck · 10/05/2017 21:53

They used to and then they dramatically cut tax credits down to I think about 24k per household as the cut off to claim which I think for 2 people working and childcare costs could be a struggle

Phineyj · 10/05/2017 21:54

Do either of you get childcare vouchers? That brings the cost down a bit. Look into that now as employers aren't always very forthcoming unless you ask.

Zoflorabore · 10/05/2017 21:54

Our rent is 400 pcm for a 3 bedroom newish house with a massive garden in the NW so yes it's all relative.

What you are paying for your rent would get you a 5 bed detached here and still have enough for CT, bills and food so I think comparison is the thief of joy.

It's clear that childcare is the biggest problem and your salaries aren't high at all for the area you live and work in.

Maybe your friends get help with tax credits?
Some people don't like to talk about benefits to their friends/family.

Phineyj · 10/05/2017 21:55

Sorry, missed the bit about renting.

missanony · 10/05/2017 21:57

45k pre tax is not rolling in it, at all!! You're better off to have both of you compress to 4 long days and pay for 3 days childcare, if you both work 5 days in office jobs. You both maximise tax free allowances then.

happypoobum · 10/05/2017 21:59

I just used the tax credit calculator based on your DH earning £24k and you having one child and it has given me a tax credit payment of £69.43 every 4 weeks.

ChickenVindaloo2 · 10/05/2017 22:01

God, you see so many different lifestyles on MN. Some folk are on six figure salaries with high flying jobs and some folk are managing a whole family on 15k/year. Most of us are in the middle somewhere. I guess the best salary is always the one just out of your reach.

I'm a single person on 33k and I still end up in my overdraft!

d270r0 · 10/05/2017 22:02

Also once children are 3 they get 15 (should be going up to 30 in September) hours of childcare free a week, that would be free childcare for a parttime job, or reduced costs for full time childcare

MissShittyBennet · 10/05/2017 22:07

If they can find anywhere doing the free hours in London!

Lilmisskittykat · 10/05/2017 22:15

Sometimes people appear to have extra money but actually have credit cards, loans, debts etc to buy the fun stuff with and pay it back at minimum a month.

Just an idea if I appears they are better off but the suns don't add up

user1486076969 · 10/05/2017 22:23

Crumbs1..eek, why?

JanetBrown2015 · 10/05/2017 22:29

The £45k is gross. Loads of tax and NI will be taken off that.
It is worth continuing to work as you preserve your career and when the children are at school won't have the same childcare costs and it protects both of you in case one of you gets sick or leaves later - you would still have the full time wage.

Keep applying for promotions as much as you can to get wages increased over time. Consider second jobs too which helped us through at times - working at weekends - not fun but helps financially.

Garlicansapphire · 10/05/2017 22:33

About 10 years ago I heard a guy at a party say 'You cant possibly live in London on less than a 100K a year...' Twat.

Itsnotmesothere · 10/05/2017 22:36

Crumbs1 Your adult children earn that each? And you subsidise them? Wow.

Firenight · 10/05/2017 22:41

Yes it's definitely worth keeping working - it gets easier once the nursery fees ease up.

Original poster
FannyShmeller · 10/05/2017 23:02

I have worked since leaving school aged 16. Surely a few years away won't be too bad?

I don't really know, hence me questioning myself. But after a light bulb coming on, it is now clear I'm better off not working from a financial sense

OP posts:
twelly · 10/05/2017 23:15

It does appear that benefits/tax credits can mean people are better off when working less or not at all which I think means the system is flawed and needs reformed.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 10/05/2017 23:25

Tax credits are designed so that everyone is better off working. They deal with the "poverty trap" of low wages barely covering high childcare costs.
They incentivise more working hours not less.

In my case, I would receive far higher tax credits by working full time due to the subsidy I would receive for all the childcare I would need.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 10/05/2017 23:31

Fanny: You need to ask a welfare rights advisor to do a "better off calculation" so you can compare your financial situation in different scenarios. And don't forget to factor in the costs of work like travel and lunch.

I think the PP who suggested both partners contracting their hours had the right idea. If you could keep substantially the same earnings but save on childcare that would probably make a big difference.

mumtomaxwell · 10/05/2017 23:45

When I first returned to work (8 years ago) after having my twins I couldn't have afforded to work full time - we were quoted £1800p/mth for 2 full time nursery places and I wasn't taking home as much as that! I did loads of calculations involving wages/costs/tax credits and eventually worked out that 3 days a week was most 'profitable'. Definitely worth taking time to do the sums...