To get a boob job done on the sly?

[Zhan]

My bra size is 32FF. I hate them - I think they make me look fat, give me back ache, my shoulders kill from bra straps, I'm self conscious and basically just want them reduced. DH says no as it's a waste of money and he likes them the way they are.

I don't. AIBU to get it done anyway without telling him? Obviously he'll notice once it's done but then it will be too late and he'll have to get over it.

It costs around £6k

[CormorantDevouringTime]

If she wanted surgery because she thought she was ugly then it might be sweet for her DH to protest, but that's not her rationale.

[NapQueen]

OP look up Boob or Bust on Facebook. Their way of masuring is spot on. Avoid M&S like the plague.

[AlexaAmbidextra]

DH says no. I will say to you what I once said to a friend in a similar situation. If your DH had a huge scrotum that was heavy and painful, that meant he couldn't get trousers to fit and that caused him embarrassment, would he put up with it because his DW liked it the way it was?

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

Do you know what would help back ache caused by large boobs? Lying down! Stop battling through the pain. If you are in pain, lie down. Particularly at bath time (bad for your back lifting kids), bed time (ditto) and any other time when there is work to do you are in pain.

Suspect he'll quickly tell you to see a doctor about the pain at which point you will presumably be able to go and come back saying the doctor can't help - you need a boob job.

[ChickenBhuna]

I do hope you feel more comfortable when you are measured for a new bra OP. I'm the size you wear , am also slim and definitely have medium sized boobs!

[PeaFaceMcgee]

Your boobs, your choice. End of discussion. If he won't support you because he doesn't want your shape to change, then it shows him up for seeing you as a piece of meat, really. He doesn't own you.

[PeaFaceMcgee]

I'm a 32FF - very tall and slim otherwise, and they're too fucking fat and pendulous for my liking.

[PeaFaceMcgee]

(and I wear Curvy Kate too)

[HoneyDragon]

If you get told your viable to have it done on the NHS would your spouse magically support it then op?

My op was done on the NHS as it was deemed necessary btw.

[angryladyboobs]

It's fuck all to do with him. He may like them but it's not him who has to deal with the bad affects daily.

[Justanothernameonthepage]

Well least you know he doesn't care. Do you think he'd also ban you from knee or hip replacement surgery if you needed it? And would you listen to him if he told you that? Telling you that your health comes second to his right to control your body is a serious red flag. (And yes, if it was a woman banning a man from getting surgery that would help his quality of life because she didn't see the need, I would say the same). His actions are screaming that he doesn't respect you or believe you're worthy of a pain free life. Hopefully a decent bra will help reduce any pain, but in your shoes I'd be tempted to pretty much strike on anything done to make his life easier and start saving for surgery and recovery help. He can't actually stop you from getting the surgery, but it's a good idea to budget to pay for recovery.

[Iamastonished]

One of my friends had a reduction, and they grew back.

[Mintybuttons]

You will not be able to do this on the sly and will need plenty of support after the procedure - it is major surgery and you will need someone to take you back to the hospital for follow up appointments. Driving is out of the question.
I had a reduction 2 years ago, it changed my life and was worth every single penny. I now feel like my boobs are the size they were always meant to be.
I'm sorry that your husband isn't supportive of you.

[happypoobum]

Zhan

As I have said to you before, it doesn't matter how many threads you start about your fuckwit wankbadger of a husband, the answers from posters are always going to be the same - he is horrible

Why are you still there love? He spits all over you, disrespects you and controls you. Do you have any support in real life?

[Brittbugs80]

It's "sweet" for a husband to tell his wife she "can't" have a procedure done to remedy pain and discomfort she's constantly feeling due to large breasts because he likes them

Depends how long she has been airing the problem. If it was a one off "I want smaller boobs my back aches" "no you don't, I love them how they are" and no more has been said, then it's hardly controlling behaviour.

I said it my DH and he responded the same but it absolutely does not mean he's controlling or treats my like a piece of meat.

Now, if she's in constant agony, crying, struggling with everyday tasks, unable to get correct fitting underwear, finding it hard to walk, sometimes stand, and he was saying no and not listening and actually said the words, "I forbid you to have this done" then yeah, he's a bit of a twat.

Likewise if it is bad, then she can visit her GP who could start the ball rolling for a reduction based on health reasons and maybe her DH would understand it's not a vanity problem.

I've honestly never known men to be labelled as controlling for saying the word no as much as they are on here!

[NoLoveofMine]

If it was a one off "I want smaller boobs my back aches" "no you don't, I love them how they are" and no more has been said, then it's hardly controlling behaviour.

Well, it would be. Even as a one off this would be him putting what he likes above her comfort.

I've honestly never known men to be labelled as controlling for saying the word no as much as they are on here!

Maybe because trying to forbid women from doing things is pretty controlling.

[happypoobum]

Brittbugs I have read several of OPs previous posts about the dickwad she is married to and have based my statements about him being a controlling arsehole on the appalling overall picture, not just this thread.

[Brittbugs80]

Forget my replies. Just read previous posts. You were all for divorcing him a week or two ago. If he does everything you say, then yep, he's a twat.

Divorce him but don't expect him to change if you stay. He won't.