To get a boob job done on the sly?

[Zhan]

My bra size is 32FF. I hate them - I think they make me look fat, give me back ache, my shoulders kill from bra straps, I'm self conscious and basically just want them reduced. DH says no as it's a waste of money and he likes them the way they are.

I don't. AIBU to get it done anyway without telling him? Obviously he'll notice once it's done but then it will be too late and he'll have to get over it.

It costs around £6k

[NoLoveofMine]

I can't get past "DH said NO." shock Fuck that, that would be a red rag to a bull for me.

I concur entirely. The reasoning as well; "put up with pain, discomfort and something which is causing you upset because I like them". I also doubt he'd think it was a "waste of money" if it was something to do with him.

[FleasSitOnPeas]

I'm a 30-32 GG normally and can't wait to one day have breast reduction surgery, currently breastfeeding so gotta wait a while yet. My husband has always said he likes them as is, but he's not the one carrying them, suffering back ache and getting smacked in the face jogging (slight exaggeration).

Has anyone here had it done and gone on to breastfeed after? I'm not sure I want to have another baby but don't want to completely ruin chance of bf.

But yeah OP, don't do it on the sly. I don't know how you would even recover on the sly tbh. Get husband on board, or just tell him to do one and get it done anyway.

[monkeyfacegrace]

I had my boobs done, went from 34GG to 34D.

Then had another 2 babies and now I'm a properly fitted 32J.

Fuck sake

So I'd say don't bother yet unless you're done with having kids!

I'm going to have another one done though.

[Zhan]

Definately no more kids!

DHs argument will be that he earns the vast majority of the household money.

It's not just about comfort - I don't want big boobs, never have. I'm quite boyish at the best of times, I do martial arts (well, did until I got sick of being a big fat tit working out amongst the blokes!) I want to run but am too self conscious about being a big fat pair of tits bouncing down the street, I want to wear a bikini on holiday but ... we'll, can you imagine!

So a better bra isn't the answer unfortunately. Also I'm not overweight, got a bmi of 21 so they look really obvious. If I was fat I could just pretend it was part of my fattness but I'm not.

[eyespydreams]

Oh dear, that is a pretty shit argument for your DH to have!

[Zhan]

He's not actually said that but I bet he would if I pushed it. I'm part time now so he'll say if I want this stuff I should go back full time - which I couldn't face to be honest although I suppose I could do it for a while

[witsender]

My mum had one done last year, the recovery was painful and longer than expected with an infection etc, but she is thrilled with the results.

[SweetChickadee]

I've seriously considered it over the years

A friend had it done in Jan and they are FAB! Took ages to heal and gave her quite a lot of pain tho

The only people who want big boobs are those that don't have them.

[phoenixtherabbit]

I feel your pain (quite literally!)

He may like them how they are but he does not have to carry them round day in day out, nor does he have to pay for expensive bras which are never easily available or pretty to try and stop the back ache.

It's not up to him. It's up to you. If you want a boob job, feel it will benefit you, can afford it and are informed about the procedure then fuck what he thinks and do it!

I am sure my Dp likes mine the way they are but if I told him I was getting them made smaller tomorrow he would be supportive, as its my body not his.

[RainbowChasing]

Yes YABU to do it on the sly, unfair to yourself. You shouldn't have to do it on the sly or get permission to do something that would make you feel happier and give you less strain and pain on your back. It's your body and if you have the money then you should do it regardless of what your dh thinks. He isn't the one who has to live with the pain.

[sailorcherries]

In your OP you state he said no but then at 18.14 say he hasn't actually said it but you think he would.

If that's true your portrayal of DH in the OP is horrible.

A properly fitted 32FF shouldn't be that big with properly fitted bras and sports bras (not your generic sports direct type).
As for an uplift it may or may not be possible, depending on your natural shape and the amount of surgery etc. It might actually require implants to get the desired shape.

You'd be best speak to a few surgeons to get their advice on whether a reduction will do or a reduction plus implants. The cost will also be decided by this.

However you can't 'have it on the sly'. I'd be fucking furious if my OH buggered £5k+ up the wall without speaking to me (which you say you haven't done), plus the hospital stay alone would give the game away.

[TheEmmaDilemma]

No chance of NHS reduction due to pain?

[gingeristhenewblack43]

I had mine done in 2005, essentially a reduction, but that will always result in an uplift. I went from 34FF to 34D and it cost £4500.

It was one of the best things I ever did and made so much difference to my confidence.

I won't lie, it's really debilitating initially. My now exH used to wash my hair over the sink as obviously the dressings couldn't get wet. Initially I struggled to sit up or stand up from the sofa without support, but after the first few weeks I was much more independent. But you will need physical support in the first week or 2, and emotional support. It is major surgery.

FleasSit I initially breast fed my DD born 6 years later but it's very much individual and depends on how successful the nipple re-attachment is.

[PickAChew]

Adding to the they're not that big. I'm 30H and definitely not massive.

If your bmi is 21 I'd wager that your band size is more like 28, which is why bras are uncomfortable. If the straps are digging in, the most common reason is that the band is too big and not providing the necessary support.

[FleasSitOnPeas]

Thanks ginger. Did your breasts go back down to the 34D after having your DD/ finishing breastfeeding?

[phoenixtherabbit]

Everyone saying oh they're not that big etc etc

It's really not the point. If op is uncomfortable the actual size shouldn't be an issue?!

I'm a 30h and no I wouldn't say I had the biggest boobs every but they do make my bake ache (and yes my bra is properly fitted) and to be honestt hey do bother me and there's lots of things I don't wear as not to draw attention to them. They do impact on my life even if they 'aren't that big'

[Headofthehive55]

There can be complications. I had a reduction and reconstruction earlier this year. My arm is still numb....that's a normal complication and in someways not worth mentioning, but it might bother you.

[Trampire]

I feel a bit . I had a breast reduction 2 years ago from a 36J cup to a 36G. The surgeon took 6lbs of weight from my chest. My boobs are considerably smaller. I would definitely get yourself measured properly and triple check it before any surgery. To me, FF boobs are rather medium-sized.

It was a major operation. It left me with one numb nipple. Scaring is barely visible. I would do it again in a shot.

Recovery time was a lot longer than I thought. The actual pain went quite quickly however the tiredness lasted a good 4-5 months. I had no stamina for anything much. Just like any major surgery.
I went private. The NHS were having none if it. It was £6000.

[HilariousGuitar]

phoenix it could matter if OP is wearing the wrong size bra though, which from further information it sounds like she could well be. A bra too small on the cups puts the strain in the wrong places and makes things very uncomfortable. I wore a 40f until a bra intervention thread on here made me remeasure and realise I was actually a 34h. It made masses of difference.

Of course the OP has complete control over her body and doesn't need to listen to what anyone else thinks, but a whole drawer full of new bras is a lot cheaper than a boob job, and could have the same effect.

[HilariousGuitar]

I don't think anyone is saying "they're not that big so you're clearly lying/exaggerating how much discomfort you're having", I think they're saying an actual 32ff isn't very big, so if the OP is suffering, it's probably because she has larger boobs in a too small bra.

[gingeristhenewblack43]

FleasSit they went back down, not to my post surgery size, mainly because I put on weight that I haven't managed to lose again. I'm now a 36DD and they are still fantastic. Admittedly not as pert as they were initially but still perky enough to get complimented 😜

[Brittbugs80]

Why can't her DH saying no be seen as a nice thing? He loves her just the way she is, I think it's sweet! A no from a male isn't always controlling behaviour

[Zhan]

DH has said I cant have it done. He hasn't said it's because he earns most of the money but I reckon he would try that one if I pushed the issue iyswim

I'm going to get remeasured on Friday so we'll see but if I could get it done for £4K I'd do it without a second thought - where can I get it for under £5k?

[BathTangle]

Can't comment on the size issue (am opposite end of the scale ) but if your DH had an injured knee/hip from sport that the NHS wouldn't cover, and you were the main breadwinner, would you actually object to him paying for surgery to fix it?? Really??

Either you are unfairly making your DH out to be pretty inconsiderate...or he is pretty inconsiderate...only you know this.

[NoLoveofMine]

Why can't her DH saying no be seen as a nice thing? He loves her just the way she is, I think it's sweet!

It's "sweet" for a husband to tell his wife she "can't" have a procedure done to remedy pain and discomfort she's constantly feeling due to large breasts because he likes them?