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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBUto feel so angry with Dd's Uni

377 replies

Booklover123 · 09/05/2017 22:46

Dd taking her finals, first exam was today. Phoned me straight after distraught, as they had failed to provide the necessary appendices. Entire room were in tears, invigilators contacted dpt but to no avail.Were told to continue exam which they could not without the supplementary information! Tonight dd has received an e mail from said dpt "apologising for the error and mistake will be rectified". But how wii this be done? AIBU to be absolutely fuming with this utter balls up happening?

OP posts:
Original poster
Booklover123 · 10/05/2017 00:25

Kelly, I don't think I have over reacted , this is a parenting forum and it has been most helpful.

OP posts:
LordRothermereBlackshirtCunt · 10/05/2017 00:28

That is ridiculous Kelly to say degrees can be bought! I hope no future or present students read your derogatory and offensive remarks!

I don't want to sound harsh, but the fact that you've interpreted Kelly's post in this way suggests that you are being far from rational at the moment. I suggest you calm down and, at all costs, avoid passing on your feelings to you daughter. I'd also tell her to avoid the other students for now. IMO there is often a kind of group hysteria effect in this kind of situation, that exacerbates the problem tenfold.

TrinityTaylor · 10/05/2017 00:29

OP you have massively mis-read Kelly's posts, literally got the opposite end of the stick

Original poster
Booklover123 · 10/05/2017 00:30

Bumbling, shame the staff made a mistake on a finals! Surely this is a fundamental procedure that should have been perfected over the years?! The university in question is an old established institution!

OP posts:
bumblingbovine49 · 10/05/2017 00:34

The other thing I would say is that mistakes happen in large companies all the time. What matters is how they are dealt with.

I agree it wasn't great to have a go at the op or her dd. (which I don't think I did) Of course it upsetting for the student when this happens.

I just was trying to say not to worry, it is not as big a problem as it might seem. To trust that the university staff have the students best interests at heart and that it will be fixed in a way that does not disadvantage the student.

Original poster
Booklover123 · 10/05/2017 00:35

I will take that on board, Thankyou for the advice bumbling.

OP posts:
stonecircle · 10/05/2017 00:36

DS did an exam last year where there was some IT issue which affected everyone. If I remember right, they were given the mark for that paper ahead of other papers and given the option of accepting it or resitting the exam. Maybe something like that will happen?

FallOutTime · 10/05/2017 00:38

Lord
i don't want to sound harsh, but the fact that you've interpreted Kelly's post in this way suggests that you are being far from rational at the moment I suggest you calm down and, at all costs, avoid passing on your feelings to you daughter

I don't know about sounding harsh but your comments are most certainly patronizing and unpleasant. The OP has already said she's just tried to be 'reassuring and supportive' to her daughter.

TrinityTaylor · 10/05/2017 00:38

yes it will be resolved, the uni will be well used to these things and will have an appropriate solution, no tears involved.

Original poster
Booklover123 · 10/05/2017 00:38

That would be an excellent way of resolving it , stone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Booklover123 · 10/05/2017 00:39

Fall out, quite agree!

OP posts:
TrinityTaylor · 10/05/2017 00:39

op it might actually work out well as they might get another chance of taking it, when nerves are gone etc. I would have been pleased at a mess up when I was at uni, because it usually meant another chance would have arisen to have a go. Once in a Spanish listening exam the tape didn't work :)

RarelyInfallible · 10/05/2017 00:43

Many years ago I managed a college that provided tuition for students taking professional accounting exams. On one of the papers discount tables were required but omitted in error. I wrote to the professional body (as, I imagine, did many others) and the exam marks were adjusted in some way. It was all sorted out quite easily and I didn't hear of student complaints afterwards. It will be much easier for a university to sort this out as it's an internal exam.

Original poster
Booklover123 · 10/05/2017 00:43

Trinity, tbh as it was her first finals exams out of her 7, she had most probably worked harder on it than her others so hope it will be resolved.lol at your Spanish exam!

OP posts:
Notmyrealname85 · 10/05/2017 00:48

Poor girl, that's awful :( Perhaps when her other exams are over but before she gets her results she should collate any term time work and send details of her predicted grade for that paper (or overall papers) to the department as an indication?

For £9k a year this is ridiculous

bumblingbovine49 · 10/05/2017 00:51

Booklet.Yes in theory it should be perfected but in real life nothing is particularly where large complex admin processes and humans are involved.

Obviously it is a mistake and the university needs to put it right. Wait and see what is done about it and if you are not happy, you can appeal the results but in all likelihood your DD will be ok with whatever decision is made about the exam results

If it makes you feel happier to do something, find out when the results will be published and read up on the appeals policy (will be on the website ) as it never hurts to be prepared but I am sure you won't need it

Your dd sounds very contentious and hard working (otherwise she would probably have been less upset) so I completely understand her being worried but tell her to trust it will be fixed and to focus on the rest of her exams . This is what she needs to hear to get through the rest of her finals. Good luck

Original poster
Booklover123 · 10/05/2017 00:54

That,s a good idea 85. Trouble is now she has non stop exams for the next 3 weeks and hasn't,t got the time until after to follow up this very unfortunate error.

OP posts:
Original poster
Booklover123 · 10/05/2017 00:56

Thankyou for your advice bumbling, I will certainly pass that on to dd.

OP posts:
Primaryteach87 · 10/05/2017 00:56

My sympathies. Hopefully it will be sorted properly but if they've made big errors and it's the same department 'fixing it' then it's definitely worth complaining.

For what it's worth, I don't think crying is an overreaction. Why are so many (older?) women so offended by some tears? We get stressed, sometimes we cry. Totally natural.

bumblingbovine49 · 10/05/2017 00:57

Meant conscientious not contentious Sorry!

Original poster
Booklover123 · 10/05/2017 01:00

Primary, good point. I cry over the annual John Lewis Christmas advert so I am certain I would be sobbing over a finals exam!

OP posts:
Notmyrealname85 · 10/05/2017 01:05

I always cry at the JL adverts Blush Tell her to treat this all like a hurdle race - through no fault of her own she's had a stumble, but now she's got to keep her eye on the next thing coming up and get that first exam out of her mind completely

In the meantime maybe you could ask the uni what the process actually is? E.g. Do they take everyone's performances and lift it by 10 marks across the board?

TrinityTaylor · 10/05/2017 01:08

i'm not an "older woman", but I would just never cry in that situation, i've never cried in public and can't imagine doing so. that's just me. there was probably a bit of the old group hive mind panic thing going on at OP's dd's exam though, seen that a lot in schools etc

Original poster
Booklover123 · 10/05/2017 01:08

That,s excellent advice85, thankyou.

OP posts:
charliethebear · 10/05/2017 01:13

I think its pretty normal and natural to cry in this situation. I reckon most people on my course would, you've worked hard for minimum 3 years, culminating in 10 weeks of hard revision plus coursework and then theres an major error which dpt wont acknowledge? They will be incredibly stressed and nervous and crying would surely just be an overflow of emotion. It doesn't mean they are going to struggle with life or they are pathetic as some previous posters gave implied, just that they are stressed, nervous and probably under a huge amount of pressure. Scoffing at people crying is pretty unpleasant tbh.
If I have a major uni problem I ring my mum, she's the obvious choice. You can talk to your friend but their in the same boat, bf also doing finals so stressed or my mum who is calmer and actually cares, and probably much more rational than my friends.