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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBUto feel so angry with Dd's Uni

377 replies

Booklover123 · 09/05/2017 22:46

Dd taking her finals, first exam was today. Phoned me straight after distraught, as they had failed to provide the necessary appendices. Entire room were in tears, invigilators contacted dpt but to no avail.Were told to continue exam which they could not without the supplementary information! Tonight dd has received an e mail from said dpt "apologising for the error and mistake will be rectified". But how wii this be done? AIBU to be absolutely fuming with this utter balls up happening?

OP posts:
Spice22 · 10/05/2017 00:04

Hugs to mums of kids doing finals everywhere by the way. Hmm Yh their the ones going through a stressful time right now...

I'm starting my finals in a couple of days too and this would have thrown me. To those speaking negatively about 'milenials' because they cried, grow up. They didn't know at that point that the uni would sort it so they got emotional because their future was on the line. More than that, they were probably frustrated ! Imagine working hard for 3/4 years and when you are almost finished another hurdle comes up and you think you may have to retake. I probably wouldn't have cried but I wouldn't blame anyone that did and I hope no one has exams tomorrow as this could still be playing on their mind !

Goodluck to your daughter OP

MissEliza · 10/05/2017 00:04

I think by the time you're taking your university finals you should be capable of sorting your own problems without your mum posting on an Internet forum! Saying that I had a wobbly in one of my finals and my dad bumped into the professor in town shortly after and told him I was worried. I wanted to f$€king kill him for doing that!

TrinityTaylor · 10/05/2017 00:06

hugs to mums of kids doing finals..WHAT?!!!

PullTheBricksDown · 10/05/2017 00:07

Is this tonight's thread for bashing 21 year olds? Lots of scorn about 'hysteria' and unpleasant comments about them getting stressed about final exams at the end of three years of work. Meanwhile, elsewhere on the site, we have posters of (presumably) 21 and well beyond starting threads about poor customer service, how their MIL glared at them and whether they should complain about the lack of parking at their kid's school or not. I guess that's all fine when 40 somethings do it, but younger people have to soldier on regardless? Exams are a stressful time. And lots of replies have said 'it's all sorted now' when what's actually happened is a CYOA email saying vague things about it being corrected. I'd want a bit more detail before I fully relaxed about it. Doubt the parking complainers in AIBU would be pacified with a vague statement like that either.

Sprinklestar · 10/05/2017 00:07

Bumbling and Lord - it's not that simple to do many things in life. Other professions don't seem to use that as a (pathetic) excuse for poor performance. God help the students you're involved with is all I can say! You sound exactly like the lecturer everyone on my course has filed complaints about. Full of excuses that just wouldn't be accepted in any other business.

LorLorr2 · 10/05/2017 00:08

It's complained that the students crying means they won't handle life's adversity, but if they didn't care and didn't work hard you would have a problem with that too.
This is a big deal for them currently, and a worthwhile thing to be focused on. They must have been tense and nervous going in to the exam as most of us would be after a lot of revision and worrying, so to get a curveball was probably the straw that broke the camel's back. Tears didn't harm anything did it, gotta let it out sometimes

Original poster
Booklover123 · 10/05/2017 00:08

Kelly, when my dd has a debt of over 30k, she has certainly paid for a degree! An appendice was indeed forgotten but in spite of the students and invigilators informing the dpt, they continued to deny that an appendice was necessary!

OP posts:
hellsbells99 · 10/05/2017 00:10

Hi Op. There was a cock-up with one of my DD's exams earlier this year. It was worth a large percentage of the module so she needed to pass it. She is only a 1st year so only needs to pass. But her confidence was very badly dented by the experience at the time and felt perhaps the difficulty of the course was beyond her. They were told a couple of weeks later that there had been a problem with the paper and the whole paper ended up being discounted. I totally understand how your DD felt trying to sit an exam that seemed impossible without the extra information. Hopefully the email from her university has now reassured her and she has been able to concentrate on her revision again. Good luck to her for the rest of her exams.

KellysZeros · 10/05/2017 00:10

She has most certainly NOT paid for a degree

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/05/2017 00:11

Some people are so horrible!

The OP is mad, I would be mad too. That doesnt mean that she is planning on marching down their to see the "headmaster"! She is pissed off that her DD has had this unnecessary stress on the first day of her finals, who wouldnt be?

She came on here to vent, not to be accused of being an over protective helicopter parent of an immature princess Hmm

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/05/2017 00:14

there not their

Original poster
Booklover123 · 10/05/2017 00:15

Thankyou so much to all the supportive and helpful posters on here, the less said about the others......... well, l will just say nothing!

OP posts:
KellysZeros · 10/05/2017 00:15

To clarify my point, which is a bit off topic, but is the way degrees are now framed as something you can buy, the student is the customer, and it irks me

hellsbells99 · 10/05/2017 00:16

Op, I would also recommend that if you need to 'vent' again or need advice then post in Higher Education and not AIBU. You have received some nasty responses tonight Wine

Original poster
Booklover123 · 10/05/2017 00:16

Kelly, tuition fees?

OP posts:
Spice22 · 10/05/2017 00:16

Kellys what are you on about? Of course she is paying for her degree ! £9k a year plus interest.

TrinityTaylor · 10/05/2017 00:16

OP asked if AIBU

Told by some yes, YABU

OP = " all posters who don't agree with me are twats"

CLASSIC MUMSNET

LordRothermereBlackshirtCunt · 10/05/2017 00:17

it's not that simple to do many things in life. Other professions don't seem to use that as a (pathetic) excuse for poor performance

The university isn't making excuses, it's dealing with the problem. The businesses you apparently naively revere make mistakes all the time. It's how those problems are dealt with that counts.

FYI, I get excellent evaluations from my students and have won teaching awards, but then my students are generally of the kind that are keen to get an education rather than bang on about their consumer rights. And, as I've repeatedly said, there's a good chance that this wasn't an error made by the lecturer.

FallOutTime · 10/05/2017 00:17

What's up with Mumsnet? Why do posters have to be so unpleasant and aggressive all the time. It's pathetic. Even if you think the crying etc is a bit OTT there's no need to be so sneery about it. Hmm

DD recently sat her final OSCE (some sort of practical exam) before finishing her medical degree. She said it was the hardest exam she had every done and that a fair few of students were crying and some even had to leave the exam room to go and compose themselves. I don't think they were being precious I think it's was a reflection of just how important it is to them.

I also wonder how many of the sneery posters have DC at Uni? I have four at DC and they all come to me when they need a moan or a bit of reassurance. I'm glad they do and I don't think it's weak of them.

TrinityTaylor · 10/05/2017 00:19

spice - I think what Kellys means is that anyone with the money can now say "well I am paying my tuition, it is a lot of money" and somehow believe they are OWED the degree, when you are not owed anything, not even a pass, you work for it like any exam

Original poster
Booklover123 · 10/05/2017 00:19

That is ridiculous Kelly to say degrees can be bought! I hope no future or present students read your derogatory and offensive remarks!

OP posts:
KellysZeros · 10/05/2017 00:19

Yes, and? You miss my point.

I understand you're upset and your daughter, and you're getting a harsh time because you've overreacted, and that you hope the lecturer is sacked.

In a few days time, this will be resolved, and it won't affect your daughter's career

KellysZeros · 10/05/2017 00:21

Book lover, you're missing my point. It is not me suggesting that degrees can be bought, nor should they be. Quite the opposite

MinorRSole · 10/05/2017 00:23

Didn't realise there was a cut off point for caring for your children!

I had no input from my parents at uni, they weren't the least bit interested. It all went tits up in the end and I wasn't the only one either. I envied the students who had parents who gave a damn.

I'm sure this will get sorted op and I do understand the tears from your daughter. It's a highly charged situation.

It's good she has you there for support

bumblingbovine49 · 10/05/2017 00:24

Actually my university deals quite efficiently with the approximately 2000 different exam papers it has to write, check,print and deliver to the exam rooms every exam session. It is a big admin job and usually efficent

Occasionally mistakes happen and when they do we always always do everything we can to put it right. We always take so much care in our meetings to make sure our students get the very best we can offer . Staff do actually almost without exception care for the students and want them to succeed.

What is astonishing to me is that some people think University staff are deliberately trying to make things difficult for students. Why would they do that?. The staff I work with pretty much without exception all was t the absolute best for their students and work v. hard to achieve that. Being human they occasionally make mistakes