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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBUto feel so angry with Dd's Uni

377 replies

Booklover123 · 09/05/2017 22:46

Dd taking her finals, first exam was today. Phoned me straight after distraught, as they had failed to provide the necessary appendices. Entire room were in tears, invigilators contacted dpt but to no avail.Were told to continue exam which they could not without the supplementary information! Tonight dd has received an e mail from said dpt "apologising for the error and mistake will be rectified". But how wii this be done? AIBU to be absolutely fuming with this utter balls up happening?

OP posts:
LancelotLink · 11/05/2017 20:45

I would have been mortified if, as a 20 / 21 year old living away, my parents were calling my university to twist their faces on my behalf.

It's surely not doing the kids any favours.

EC22 · 11/05/2017 20:55

Those who are shocked at students crying when there has been a monumental fuck up during finals could never have sat them!

Never felt stress like it and mine went smoothly. I'm not a millennial!

TrinityTaylor · 11/05/2017 20:59

Ec22 I have thanks, I have a first class degree from a russell group uni - not that that makes me more or less entitled to an opinion. I did have drama queens who cried at every so called injustice and they were not too popular. They also didn't do any better in their degree than the more stoic and down to earth of us

EC22 · 11/05/2017 21:00

Here's a hat and a balloon for you!
Well done.

isawahatonce · 11/05/2017 21:00

I would just like to mention to those of you concerned that a group of students were upset/crying over this - university exams are so, so stressful and some people don't cope with that sort of stress so well (I know I don't). They've put a lot of work into this, the outcome could seriously affect their lives and they have no idea what, if anything, is going to be done to fix it. I've cried over less while considerably more emotionally stable than I was during university exams.

TrinityTaylor · 11/05/2017 21:02

Thanks, I love balloons

But seriously yes it is stressful. But real life is infinitely more stressful. There is NO POINT in getting hysterical over it.

I17neednumbers · 11/05/2017 21:10

University finals are a part of real life though - as real as other stages in people's lives!

And in fact there are few things as binary as finals - no retakes, whereas in many other parts of real life you have a chance to put things right/have another attempt. So not surprising it's very stressful. Crying's a reasonable response to stress - not sure why it is considered so ridiculous/worrying/millenial?

RedTitsMcGinty · 11/05/2017 21:13

Feel free to write a letter expressing your disappointment to the department and ask for feedback on how they intend to rectify it because you are concerned for your daughter

Although it'd be a waste of paper. Data protection means the university cannot even comment on whether or not your child is a student at their institution.

Gentlygrowingoldermale · 11/05/2017 21:17

Well, well, well. Let me get this straight. Assuming these finals are the end of a three year course, that's roughly £27, 000 and OP is being told to chill out. Unbelievable.

A good example of Brits being trained not to make a fuss.

Real life? This is real life, it's not playtime.

TrinityTaylor · 11/05/2017 21:18

I am technically a millenial and hate the criticism we receive but I stand by my opinion. Maybe its because I'm just not a cryer. But I would have had total faith my uni would have resolved it. That's why I picked it, because it was a great uni with great staff who I trusted implicitly

Gentlygrowingoldermale · 11/05/2017 21:18

Too right OP, justified anger in my book.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 11/05/2017 21:19

All of which the OP knows. She has been perfectly clear that she took to MN to express the frustration and irritation she has been very careful to keep from her daughter. She has said nothing at all to indicate that she was going to complain on her daughter's behalf.

TrinityTaylor · 11/05/2017 21:19

I don't think uni = real life. I had a great time and look back at it fondly when something is going horribly at work and I have to stst up all night to rectify it or my child is having an asthma attack

TrinityTaylor · 11/05/2017 21:20

*stay up all night

cushiemoy · 11/05/2017 21:23

I'm a bit late to this thread, I hope your DD has bounced back and is focussed on her other exams. It's unfortunate but mistakes do happen and as many PPs have said, it affected all students and the university will fix it. Any correspondence will need to come from your DD, universities are not allowed to disclose any information about students to parents or anyone else, they're adults.

FWIW, my class sat their first final year exam a couple of weeks ago, at a different institution, without some statistical information needed to answer part of the paper. From my end, all instructions were in place but something went wrong in the exams centre (certainly nothing intentional, they work very hard to deal with many complicated arrangements). It hadnt occurred to me until I read this thread that people might think I should lose my job over it!!

My students just got on with it, left the questions with missing information until the end and then explained how they'd decided to proceed in spite of missing information. I'm sure it threw them a bit but I was very proud of the resilience they demonstrated in just getting on. In three months time they'll be working, and they can't cry because some data is not available or their client hasn't returned their calls. The only message I've received from this group was checking if I would be at their graduation, no mention of the exam hiccup.

As for fees... students are paying for access to an education. If they were paying for a degree we wouldn't need to have exams at all, just hand them their certificate at graduation.

RoseGoldHippie · 11/05/2017 21:26

Sorry I have t RTFT (got to page 6) but I just thought I would add my opinion on the crying thing.

I recently cried because a team mate hadn't advised our security team of a visitor and they gave my name as a contact in error, I was being called at 5:30 in the AM asking about stock counts and asking where I was and when I was getting in. This was a TOTAL overreaction but I was so tired from a very stressful week of meetings up and down the country and this just kind of pushed me over the limit - it happens! I'm not some poor woman who can't fend for myself, I had just had enough! Plus I still call my dad when I am particularly pissed off about something at work, normally because he will make me laugh about it. Much like a friend would.

I imagine this is the same thing that happened here, I wouldn't worry OP they will sort it out but I understand it can drive you a little insane. I don't think YABU to be cross just have a glass of wine and try to push it out of your mind, this won't effect you DDs future it will be sorted!

BellyDancer124 · 11/05/2017 21:26

Hmm the whole room were in tears? As in they actually cried? Weird. Confused

isshoes · 11/05/2017 21:27

Well, well, well. Let me get this straight. Assuming these finals are the end of a three year course, that's roughly £27, 000 and OP is being told to chill out. Unbelievable.

The fees are irrelevant in this situation. They don't even always cover the costs of teaching a student. Yes it seems like a lot because they used to be less, even free. But they don't, as stated above, mean universities suddenly have a lot of extra money to throw about. And they don't provide any guarantee that mistakes aren't going to happen.

Gormless · 11/05/2017 21:30

Just echoing an important point a few have made: there is no point parents contacting any uni because data protection means the uni legally can't even confirm that an individual is a student there. There will be procedures the students can follow to register their concern and I have no doubt this will be dealt with fairly at the appropriate exam board: I would imagine a plan is already in place to be honest. There will also be external examiners (academics from other unis) present and being consulted at every stage. They too will scrutinise the dept's response and ensure it's fair. It is a huge shame this happened and I see how it has been distressing but I know if this happened in my Dept we would be bending over backwards to sort this fairly. And we'd be beyond mortified.

SkippyFox · 11/05/2017 21:31

the whole room were in tears? As in they actually cried? Weird

It could have been a small number of students or it could be a bit of an exaggeration by the OPs DD. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Flyfisherlady · 11/05/2017 21:31

Depends what university she is at. At Oxford your entire degree is based entirely on those exams. I wonder who wouldn't be a bit stressed at having to sit 8 three hour exams in 6 days or 7 exams in similar and one paper being a total cock up. YANBU if this is the case

youarenotkiddingme · 11/05/2017 21:32

And it's not weird they cried.

At that exact moment in time highly stressed students who've studied for 3 years at significant debt before they've even started their careers were faced with an exam they didn't feel was possible to pass or do well at - and were told to get on with it.

It's only now after the fact they have been told the uni will sort it - and even then they haven't been informed exactly how.

TrinityTaylor · 11/05/2017 21:35

Is op's dd a third year though or is it end of year exams?

TrinityTaylor · 11/05/2017 21:36

I say that because we called end of years finals

I17neednumbers · 11/05/2017 21:41

Yes, I don't really understand why their crying is regarded as so utterly wet and weedy. Perfectly normal response in the situation i would have thought - not something for scoffing at.