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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBUto feel so angry with Dd's Uni

377 replies

Booklover123 · 09/05/2017 22:46

Dd taking her finals, first exam was today. Phoned me straight after distraught, as they had failed to provide the necessary appendices. Entire room were in tears, invigilators contacted dpt but to no avail.Were told to continue exam which they could not without the supplementary information! Tonight dd has received an e mail from said dpt "apologising for the error and mistake will be rectified". But how wii this be done? AIBU to be absolutely fuming with this utter balls up happening?

OP posts:
GoatsFeet · 11/05/2017 10:49

Good luck to her!

Original poster
Booklover123 · 11/05/2017 10:50

Thankyou goats.

OP posts:
StinkyMcgrinky · 11/05/2017 10:55

Very best of luck to her. I hope her and her friends managed to put the cock up behind them and not upset them too much. These are such high stakes exams, it's not a case of "Oh Ive got a degree now, I can walk into a job" like it was decades ago. I graduated 10 years ago and even then the job market was difficult so your degree classification matters. I now see graduates with 1st degrees applying for low paid roles as there simply aren't the jobs available.

I do have a biased view however, working in HE in a student facing role. Wishing them all the luck in the world Star

Honeybee79 · 11/05/2017 17:27

I'm sure she and the others can sort this out! It's a screw up on the part of the university for sure, but then the exam board will have to take that into account when marking. If no one had access to this information then everyone is in exactly the same position and the marking will just take account of that.

A horrible thing to happen, but these things do happen (I work pt as a university lecturer) and it's not like they will fail a whole room of them due to the dep's fuck up.

caringcarer · 11/05/2017 17:33

They will fudge it by giving all students their own personal mean mark of their other exam marks.

seaurchin2016 · 11/05/2017 17:43

Is the university Wolverhampton by any chance. We have had problems with the Science dept- in loads of ways. Contacted head of dept and he told me off for acting on my daughter's behalf.

HappyFlappy · 11/05/2017 17:47

During exam season it is very common for my team to work extra hours, come in on days off, take phone calls from home etc...to make sure everything gets done.

As Stinky says.

And these are UNPAID extra hours, I might add.

tygarugby · 11/05/2017 17:56

I hope the University is mortified

Bohemond · 11/05/2017 17:57

I don't think my parents had any idea when I was sitting my finals - only the date I was expected home. Clearly an old gimmer...

sophe · 11/05/2017 18:01

Relax. These are not like school public exams with centralised marking. The university can make the necessary adjustments to arrive at the right spread of marks as amongst those doing this exam.

Trifleorbust · 11/05/2017 18:03

Students, not their parents, pay their uni fees. Where the students get the money isn't the relevant point. Universities are accountable to students, not parents.

Sparklyglitter · 11/05/2017 18:14

Poor guys! Finals are stressful enough without this! They can't take away the stress whatever they do! 😕 But hopefully they will sort it out xx

Crickeycrumbsblimey · 11/05/2017 18:22

I work in a university and this is terrible. Glad she managed to get through her exams. I don't get that you are not supposed to care just because she is older!

Where I work examiners have to attend the first 30 mins of any exam just in case there is an error on the paper (or it has been photocopied blank in one blooming case).

youarenotkiddingme · 11/05/2017 18:28

Gosh some people on MN are hard hearted and totally unfeeling.

A student has studied for 3 years - revised fo weeks on end for finals - got in there and discovered the paper incomplete and then been told to just get on with it.

Imagine sitting a paper having no idea of you will pass or fail - usually you know how well you did by how at ease you felt answering the questions.

So what that the DD decided to confide in her Mum? Does it matter who she confided in? If this was written by a uni friend of DDs what would people say then?

I would imagine most people who cried were just releasing stress.

Ev1lEdna · 11/05/2017 18:32

Bit of a worry about 20+somethings 'in tears' though , all of them. They wont be coping with the adversity life throws at them

That's what I thought. Frankly if my students had all been in tears about something like this I would be very concerned. I know finals are a fraught time but surely this would be a bit of an overreaction - it's obvious the university would have to do something about it. Also agree with whoever said exam timetabling is a nightmare, this is why the exam would have gone ahead.

This is a departmental error and it will be rectified, the university will sort it out as soon as possible I would imagine (and going from experience) it isn't in their interests not to rectify it and indeed, this is what they have told you.

Ev1lEdna · 11/05/2017 18:34

I wanted to add good luck to your DD for her finals and tell her not to worry about this one, it won't affect her adversely. I pressed send too soon.

Original poster
Booklover123 · 11/05/2017 18:35

No, sea urchin, it's Cardiff.

OP posts:
GardenGeek · 11/05/2017 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gribak · 11/05/2017 19:00

I would be upset too - perhaps some of the other posters less sensitive
who have replied on here, may not have uni kids, who have worked their butts off over three years to get to this point where they are writing the potentially the most important exams of their life. (Plus the cost to get them this far!)I am sure though, given the circumstances, the university will not get away with this, do all club together and kick up a stink until it is resolved...

Genzymoo · 11/05/2017 19:02

I had something similar at uni myself - I started the exam and realised I didn't even know what the questions were asking, let alone how to answer them. We weren't told, however, and continued the exam. I spent hours alternating between complete panic and trying to answer a question I knew nothing about. It was only after the exam that it was clear everyone had the problem (and it wasn't just me being stupid). The lecturer had set the wrong questions. Complaints were raised, and all were given a free retake. The lecturer didn't teach us again.

Personally, it led to me sugfering anxiety with all exams for the rest of the year. I ended up with a doctors note for my final year to confirm that I suffered from exam-related anxiety (right from start of revision I would have small panic attacks, not be able to think clearly, either etc), although had no problems that year.

I got the grade I wanted overall, but it definitely had repercussions further than the initial exam. Although I was made to sit the whole exam without knowing there was a problem

heateallthebuns · 11/05/2017 19:17

She will surely need to become more resilient and flexible in the face of adversity for her future career!!!
Are you going to be furious if she gets made redundant or someone gets promoted before her????

Lostinaseaofbubbles · 11/05/2017 19:21

All students were at least in the same boat which means it can be accounted for more easily by the university.

Yes it's awful and yes, you have every right to be annoyed. But they will be well aware how awful it is. Feel free to write a letter expressing your disappointment to the department and ask for feedback on how they intend to rectify it because you are concerned for your daughter (they will, no doubt have a pile of them to reply to).

The "do nothing, we will have to fix it later" is pretty standard protocol in exams because if you start trying to fix it then the students at the back of the room who had to wait an extra 5 minutes for their texts could argue it's unfair that they had less time than those at the front, and if the exam is sat in multiple rooms or multiple sites then it gets even more complicated. As horrible as it is, everyone in your daughter's situation was equally disadvantaged.

I hope your daughter is okay, I completely understand the tears, try to reassure her that it'll be accounted for by the uni and she should be fine. Try (as hard as it is) not to let it rattle her for the rest of her exams. And, again, her whole cohort will all be rattled so that can be taken into account too.

Best wishes to your daughter

Wecks · 11/05/2017 19:29

I have a DC in the midst of finals. A rogue paper would certainly make him angry and dent his confidence. No doubt he would tell me all about it and I would say the right things.

When your children grow up you still feel their pain. It's just harder to help them.

All the posters jumping on OP for feeling upset because her DD is upset probably don't have adult children.
I recommend you post on Higher Education rather than AIBU. Lots of people there with student DC.

ExpatTrailingSpouse · 11/05/2017 19:34

Haven't gotten to the last 100 messages, but OP, all these remarks about crying are ridiculous and lacking empathy.

I started a PhD at age 25, with 5 years of full-time work experience under my belt. I can't remember if it was my first qualifying oral exam or my second annual oral exam, but I had gotten really sick with bronchitis just before, hadn't had anywhere near enough sleep due to constant coughing for weeks. I was as well prepared for my exam as I could have been under the circumstances, and near the end of the questioning I couldn't help it, I burst into tears from the stress and being unwell. I absolutely hate crying in front of others, and in front of my supervisors and committee, plus labmates - believe me i would never ever want to cry in that situation. But the stress can get to you and indeed it did.

On the other hand, as the head teaching assistant for the largest first year course (1000 students) in our faculty, we were given incorrect room bookings for our midterm exam. This had to be fixed on the fly - a complete disaster. We resolved it on the spot by removing some questions from the test due to the reduced exam time. I bloody well wanted to cry and I was partly in charge of fixing it! But had some of the students cried from the stress, I would totally have understood too. (Passing this course was mandatory to progress).

It really sounds like a big mess-up was made in your DDs case and I hope it gets resolved.

isshoes · 11/05/2017 19:38

You don't need to 'club together and kick up a stink until this is resolved'. Do you imagine the university staff sitting there shrugging their shoulders and saying 'dunno what they're making such a fuss about...'? Of course they'll resolve it! And they'll resolve it because it's what they want and need to do, in the best interests of their students and in compliance with policy and regulation. Not because Johnny Smith's mummy's written a strong letter of complaint...