Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to take 3 year old to swan lake.

261 replies

Lonelymummyof1 · 07/05/2017 23:42

Swan lake it showing in july and daughter is obsessed with it !
It does not have a age requirement listed but is 3 too young ?

OP posts:
NeverTwerkNaked · 08/05/2017 07:38

I think a rehearsal/see some of the costumes would be perfect. My daughter got to see and touch the costumes when she went to a "my first" ballet and she loved it.

I sympathise, my 3 year old loves classical music but finding small person friendly ways to go and listen live is hard!

UrsulaPandress · 08/05/2017 07:39

I started taking dd to ballets from about 3, but always a matinee performance.

The Moscow State Ballet did Swan Lake in Manchester a couple of months ago and I found the performance far more relaxed than usual. I was really shocked how many adults went to the loo during the show.

Really hope you can find something for your dd. I know you say it had to be Swan Lake, but maybe she would also enjoy something a bit more jolly.

Hulder · 08/05/2017 07:39

Try looking out for the Royal Albert Hall 'in the round' productions of Swan lake. It is much more casual there and depedning where you sit, much easier to take a child out. It's done fairly often.

Plus Swan Lake is the sort of thing touring ballet companies will do so worth looking there - if you liaise with the Box Office that it is 'Make a Wish' then they may be more relaxed about ages.

VintagePerfumista · 08/05/2017 07:39

I know what make-a-wish is, but unfortunately most of the people in the RAH won't know that that's why the little girl is there. And why should they? And they will complain. They just will. They aren't mindreaders and they will have paid a lot of money.

So the other advice given to the OP is best. Hope you find something OP, I'm sure some of the links given to you will sort something out. Flowers

NavyandWhite · 08/05/2017 07:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kbear · 08/05/2017 07:47

what about asking a local ballet school to do a performance for her? My dd is at performing arts college and some of the girls are fabulous dancers - I'm sure they would be honoured to help.

Often touring companies perform classic ballets at local theatres - ie The Orchard Theatre in Dartford etc... I've been and they are more relaxed although still no dancing and no little ones disturbing, but it she can sit through half of it it's better than nothing and tickets will be less expensive.

LittleBearPad · 08/05/2017 07:47

In normal circumstances no and the auditorium stairs are steep in the ROH. dancing along would be very dangerous let alone permitted.

Ring the ROH and explain. A dress rehearsal would be ideal and very special - you'll have the auditorium likely to yourself. Plus likely to be in the daytime not 7pm to 11pm - which isn't ideal for a three year old. Hope it works out.

GoatsFeet · 08/05/2017 07:49

I think 3 is far too young to take a child to a full length piece of theatre, for which other audience members have paid a LOT of money. See if there's a film broadcast - but even then, it's long, formal, and again, the cost of cinema tickets for these live broadcasts can be up to £20.

If your child is likely to be restless, kick seat in front (even by accident because she's restless), wants to whisper to you, be taken to the loo in the middle of an act, etc etc do not take her to any of the large company productions (Birmingham Royal Ballet and English National Ballet tour, but I don't think they have a Swan Lake in this season's touring repertoire.

Even if you find a local amateur production, it's a long piece, with a lot of quite formal classical stuff. And the perfrmers and audience are no less worthy of being watched and performing in the same conditions as those at the ROH. As for "letting your daughter dance in the aisles" - words fail.

so -- Why not look out for a ballet specifically for children? At 3, she won't be doing proper ballet yet - just "good toes, naughty toes" stuff, so I'd think that a live engagement with a ballet designed for her age group and often including the possibility of an accompanying workshop.

I don't know where you are but what about Northern Ballet ?

Ballet Black was touring a show for children last season - you may find they're coming near to you soon.

If you find a performance that's doable, ring the theatre & ask if there are any accompanying education events: usually companies make much-needed extra funding from offering educational workshops, meet the dancers, etc. All that will make a FAR better introduction to the live theatre than sitting through 3 hours of a big classical ballet, with conventions that many adults don't understand, let alone a 3 year old.

I've been raised in the theatre (on stage in utero!) but we never took our children to the theatre until they were around 7 or 8. It's not fair to the kids or the rst of the audience.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 08/05/2017 07:52

Can you follow up on her dance teacher's contact with the Royal Ballet? It probably needs a follow up email to ask about when would be suitable. Try that :)

GoatsFeet · 08/05/2017 07:52

A dress rehearsal would be ideal and very special - you'll have the auditorium likely to yourself

Er, no. Dress rehearsals will have the production team in the auditorium etc. I've been in a dress with audience, when we've had to stop it and redo things technical. If they're not inviting in an audience, a dress or a tech rehearsal is quite a private thing. Far less for 3 year olds than a performance, actually!

AND - more importantly, dress rehearsals for something like the RB or the BRB are often paid-for occasions for organisations such as the "Friends of the Royal Ballet." I've paid quite a bit of money for a ticket to a dress for a big company.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 08/05/2017 07:53

Taking a 3 year old to an evening performance is likely to result in a meltdown due to tiredness and not being allowed to fidget or talk for 3 hours.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 08/05/2017 07:55

Sorry, I didn't read the thread. I'm so sorry OP. I really hope you sort something. Flowers

TinfoilHattie · 08/05/2017 07:56

Ordinarily I would say NO WAY to taking a 3 year old to an evening performance of over an hour but OP's circumstances appear to be exceptional.

In her shoes I would contact the venue and the ballet company explaining the situation and asking for their advice.

Ilovewillow · 08/05/2017 08:05

I wouldn't at that length of time. Check out royal ballet website though they regularly run children's based adaptation if the various ballets. I took my daughter to their swan lake and it was brilliant and about 1.5 hrs with an Interval. The tickets were reasonably priced too. She was 6 at the time but there were lots of younger children there too.

LittleBearPad · 08/05/2017 08:05

Dress rehearsals will have the production team in the auditorium etc. I've been in a dress with audience, when we've had to stop it and redo things technical. If they're not inviting in an audience, a dress or a tech rehearsal is quite a private thing. Far less for 3 year olds than a performance, actually!

Well there will be fewer people than a full performance. I also imagine you paid relatively less for your seat than a proper performance too.

LittleBearPad · 08/05/2017 08:07

At the very least OP get tickets for a matinee - less tiring.

Crumbs1 · 08/05/2017 08:07

Matinee should be fine. Our youngest was also ballet obsessed and perfectly capable of behaving at a full length performance at three.

soupplate · 08/05/2017 08:09

I think it's probably a bit of a risk and you would end up not enjoying the experience as you would be so stressed keeping your DD quiet and still.

Are you in the SE? How about contacting London Children's Ballet - I bet they could help.
Northern Ballet do 'Short ballets for small people'

I hope your DD gets her wish. More seriously, I hope you get to see your DD performing Odette in years to come.

UnbornMortificado · 08/05/2017 08:11

I only know all the updates as I read from the start but for anyone just skimming.

The OP's daughter has a life limiting illness. This is a Make a Wish type situation not just a normal day trip.

I really don't think anyone is trying to be deliberately blunt it was easy update to miss.

mousymary · 08/05/2017 08:36

I second a special children's ballet.

Unfortunately other patrons of a "proper" ballet performance will have no idea about the OP's dd's situation. I know if I was at a performance at the Royal Opera House and a 3-year-old was dancing in the aisle... well, I'd probably strangle the parent.

I'm sure any joy the OP would feel at seeing her dd enjoy the performance would be spoiled by the constant worry that her dd would need the loo/talk/fidget/join in.

Also, if you desperately need the loo you can't come back in!

NigellasGuest · 08/05/2017 08:45

Join the forum on this website
www.balletcoforum.com/
and start a thread there - lots of helpful and friendly ballet people in the know !

user1471506380 · 08/05/2017 08:53

I have been to two ballets at a small theatre. I went to matinees each time. There was silence from the audience during the performance. At one I had two little girls aged about 8 or 9 sitting next to me (their mothers sitting in row behind) they were very fidgety and were obviously getting very bored in the second half. The mums apologized to me (I wasn't actually bothered but am retirement age so they probably assumed I would be grumpy!). Maybe if you explained to the theatre staff they would allow you and DD to attend. Swan Lake is a lovely ballet.

putputput · 08/05/2017 09:04

Just in case you missed my post earlier...

Op you do not have to deal with all this. Make a wish (or whichever charity you're using) will make ALL arrangements and liaise with theatres etc to make sure it's suitable. Ring them!

TinyTear · 08/05/2017 09:05

@NeverTwerkNaked look into Bach to Baby, classical music performances for children.

Elphaba99 · 08/05/2017 09:08

It may well be worth emailing the ROH and explaining the circumstances because you might be able to buy seats for a matinée in an unoccupied box, OP. However, you'd still have to explain in the strongest terms that dd has to be very quiet and sit and watch - and to save dancing and talking for the intervals.

The ROH auditorium seats thousands of people and there is no way of explaining to every audience member (some of whom will have paid upwards of £120 for their seat) that there may be noise from a 3 year-old. Apart from anything else, the dancers themselves could get very distracted.

The exception to this would be to go to a "Welcome Performance" or a Schools' Matinée (for Primary Schools) where it is accepted that there will be a certain amount of noise. But you would still have to ask the ROH to allow you to take a 3 yr old.

An evening performance would be a no-no IMHO.