I'll try and keep it as short as I can without drip feeding...
Met my ex 3 and a half years ago. I was 22 he was 34. Real jack the lad, smoked weed, dealt weed ( on a large scale) liked his beer and his women. I was in a shitty place, just came out of a long suffocating relationship, was failing uni, had my own problems with weed and was living with parents.
He was awful all the way through our relationship, he cheated on me with his ex, blatantly (like underwear on the radiator blatant) but when I got upset or angry over it he would tell me I was being an immature little girl and to get over myself. He constantly called me thick and told me a wouldn't amount to anything, he came from a nice family, lots of money and privately educated and would make sure I didn't forget my family were working class. He wouldn't take me to see his family as I was "too common and would embarrass him". Unfortunately I was head over heels for him and believed everything he said and accepted it.
2 years in things come to a head, he has a bug court case, I have no sympathy and the arguments were getting worse until one day he pinned me against a wall by my neck leaving bruises. That was the final straw I left there and then and apart from the odd text didn't see him again.
Until last June when on a drunken night out I saw him and one thing led to another and now I have a beautiful DD 9 wks old.
My parents weren't happy and gave me a choice his help or there's. I chose there's.
I have now sorted my life out, quite smoking, have a house and a full time job and I'm happier than I have been in years.
We have always swapped the odd text (a couple a month) and despite him saying hed changed I didn't belive him. I know he has lost all his friends (wasn't just me he belittled apparently) and I think he is lonely, his dad died about 12 months before I met him which he took really hard and his mother is a huge alcoholic, no other family in the region.
He text me again yesterday saying he had changed and misses me so WIBU to meet him for a coffee (without dd) and see for myself. I don't want an arsehole in my daughters life but if he has changed am I withholding something from her? I don't think my mum will forgive me if I tell him about the baby, she thinks it will be a Pandoras box and I will just end up depressed again woth him in my life and regretting it and tbh I agree and I don't think he can change personally he's been set in his ways too long, but, I don't want my dd to resent me never giving him a chance.
If you made it to the bottom of this thank you!