First lesbian date tomorrow. AIBU to say no kissing.

[user1493797837]

Finally, finally plucked up the courage to ask a woman I've liked for months out on a date.

I'm still closeted, still a little unsure of all my thoughts but I know I really really like her.

But tomorrow I just want to chat and not kiss and definitely not do anything else.

Also, she said she really likes me and is so please I asked her for a drink but wants to know why I would tell her how hot every guy in the office was and dated men while I knew her and now say I'm lesbian. Also why did I avoid her and only show an interest now. She thinks she's just an option when in fact she was always my first choice I just never understood my thought. So I'm not sure how to explain that tomorrow.

I'm very very nervous.

Would a no kissing ban be too much? Unreasonable? I want to take everything very slow.

mypatronusisaunicorn I was wondering that. Quite the turn around.

An outright kissing ban would be super weird and intense. Just go with the flow and if you find you don't want to kiss, don't kiss.
And you are entitled to fancy men and women there's no law against that and you don't need to explain yourself. If she doesn't like it then she is being a bit narrow minded, to say the least.

I remember my first date with a woman. I was so nervous, we held hands and kissed and it was lovely.

She turned out to be a psycho bitch from hell. But the date was lovely.

Odd thread...

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn* yes i was rather confused by this.

Agree previous threads are contradictory. OP as recently as last Wednesday was heterosexual.

No one knows what goes on in my head or my circumstances.

Clearly not

OP, were you the one who posted about not being a lesbian but had lesbian thoughts and was in love with their manager?

No op we don't we're just telling you to make sure you know what you want first so you don't hurt this woman who is crazy about you ( or hurt yourself)

mypatronus - it's because lesbians are mystical beings able to teleport through time and space. If you repeat the word 'lesbian' often enough, you warp the space-time continuum between here and the Daily Mail.

itsnotme, yes it's the same OP.

It's all very well saying we don't know what's going on inside your head OP, but when you are adamant you are spending your last £16 on a night out last night, then claim to have a date tonight, 4 days ago you were adamant you weren't a lesbian and your highly religious family would disown you and you had booked counselling, now you have a date with your manager, and you are job hunting and are unemployed, but you have a manager. You can see how these inconsistencies will make people suspicious.

LRD.

Coming out is individual to anyone. Not something for heterosexual women to comment on as if they would have a clue.

I'm 27. I've struggled for years but everyone has to start somewhere.

Anyway, I didn't even go on the date. I'm an idiot. But at least I took the first step.

There's no inconsistencies. I've explained I work one day a week.

Also, it takes two seconds to change your name on here. I'd have just name changed if I wanted to make up stories and avoid stalkers.

OP is this your manager that you were on about having feelings for, or another woman? Presumably you don't want to say in your one day a week job, as you are job hunting, but as your life sounds quite chaotic at the moment, a potential work fling may complicate things.

Anyhow, no-one should make you do anything you want to do on a date, just go along and focus on enjoying the time together. However I hope you are going to access that counselling we were all discussing with you the other day.

I'm not responding to any troll hunting. If I was heterosexual I wouldn't be accussed anyway.

This has nothing to do with coming out at all. And you must know that posting somewhere with a lot of hetrosexual women means you will get their opinions. The issue is your inconsistencies, not your bloody sexuality.

" If I was heterosexual I wouldn't be accussed anyway."

😂😂😂😂 Oh do me a favour! What a load of self pitying twaddle.

Not something for heterosexual women to comment on as if they would have a clue.

Well, they might, you know. Those same heterosexual women might well have sisters, daughters, mothers, etc., who came out and might well have good advice to pass on.

In theory, that is.

Well it's very simple really. Just because you write on a thread that you're not lesbian. That doesn't mean you don't think you are. I was having a really really bad day.

On a normal day I'm more at peace with my sexuality. I'm not openly lesbian. But in my normal frame of mind I'm at a certain level of accepting it. That was one thread that I just needed to write.

Some days are better than others.

But OP in your very own words you said you were heterosexual last week. You can't blame people for questioning all of this when your posts are so contradictory and yet you're asking people to give advice, which they're usually really happy to do.