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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel that Great Britain isn't 'Great' anymore? I think I want to move abroad!

299 replies

Whatawaytomakealiving · 06/05/2017 21:55

I don't want to live in a country that treats people as it does. I work damned hard to serve the public, but I am so disillusioned.

OP posts:
FrenchLavender · 07/05/2017 11:25

48% of the country voted Remain.

No they didn't. 48% of people who bothered voting voted Remain. I think in the case of the referendum the Leavers were more motivated to vote for change than people who say they were Remainers but didn't feel particularly motivated to vote, or threatened enough by the prospect of leaving to bother to go and vote at all. There was complacency and a smug sense of having it in the bag among Remainers. If there hadn't
been then the result might have been different but there's no point pondering on that now.

Unfortunately, I can't leave due to family.

No such thing as can't. If you really feel that strongly then there's always a way. Everyone has family somewhere - they manage it. Do you think all the immigrants in the UK now didn't leave some family behind?

I don't understand why so many young, fit healthy people say they feel this country is ruined and that there are greater opportunities and freedoms to be had elsewhere yet do they take them? No. They stay here and moan about how awful it all is. But it's all perfectly manageable if you really want it. We have Ryanair and FaceTime and WhatsApp nowadays you know. Wink

JacquesHammer · 07/05/2017 11:39

I don't understand why so many young, fit healthy people say they feel this country is ruined and that there are greater opportunities and freedoms to be had elsewhere yet do they take them? No

Because if I moved away I will be denying my daughter the relationship she has with her father, her grandparents, her friends that she has now. I am not prepared to do that to her.

DoorwayToNorway · 07/05/2017 11:41

Leaving is not that easy. Unless you are desperate and a refugee or have a legal right to live and work in another country, you can't just stick a pin on a map, swan in and say "I'm here, give me work". Those that say "go elsewhere" haven't got the first clue how the world works. Hmm

scaryteacher · 07/05/2017 11:49

We are abroad, but will coming back in 2019 for good. I cannot wait, and am really looking forward to it.

FrenchLavender · 07/05/2017 11:52

you can't just stick a pin on a map, swan in and say "I'm here, give me work". Those that say "go elsewhere" haven't got the first clue how the world works. hmm

And yet that is exactly what hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people EVERY YEAR have been arriving in the UK and saying over the last 20 years. Confused

Of course I know it's not always that easy, it depends where you want to go and the rules and regs of that country, even if it's another EU country. But people who say it's 'not possible' for them usually mean 'it's not sufficiently beneficial' for them, all things considered, to be worth the significant effort.

And DH and I have moved our family to live and work outside the UK more than once, before you ask. Twice within the EU, once out of it.

Orlantina · 07/05/2017 11:55

No such thing as can't. If you really feel that strongly then there's always a way

Separated. So either stay in the UK with DS or leave without DS.

No they didn't. 48% of people who bothered voting voted Remain

The point is - a lot of people voted Remain and now feel like they are being totally ignored. Being told to get over it. Stop moaning. Etc etc.

Maybe we should all just fuck off and leave the 'leavers' on the UK to fend for themselves?

FrenchLavender · 07/05/2017 12:00

Maybe we should all just fuck off and leave the 'leavers' on the UK to fend for themselves?

Er....well, yes, I think that is the whole point of the thread, is it not?

Except that you don't. Any of you. you keep talking about it, threatening it, have been since the day after the referendum result, but you are all still here. Confused

caffelatte100 · 07/05/2017 12:00

I was surprised to find that in my husband's old company (which was very international with many branches in Europe, not world wide) that none/few of the employees wanted to transfer to the offices in Manchester. IN fact, a transfer to Manchester was among those in the "hardship" category! and the employees would receive more benefits for going there. I really love the north and was really shocked to hear how Manchester was regarded....

Anyway, we are not in the UK anymore and we definitely enjoy a much higher quality of life... but there are so many very special things about the UK that just cannot be matched anywhere else.

DoorwayToNorway · 07/05/2017 12:03

A lot of people get moved with work or are refugees. A lot of those "thousands" of people are moved to the UK because there is a lack of things like homegrown engineers. All the people that DH worked with were from places like India, Spain, China, South Africa, Brazil and Australia, they were moved to the UK as no one in the UK is qualified to do what they do, they were obviously asked but they didn't "choose" the UK. They couldn't just rock up, if they wanted to. We've lived in 4 different countries too, DH has worked in 6 countries but we didn't pick them. Are you saying you just picked a country and just went? I doubt it.

Cantseethewoods · 07/05/2017 12:12

The problem is that everyone holds their own country up to much harsher standards than others. Plus, generally speaking, you tend to live in another country for a long time before you start seeing their problems as your problems, because you can always leave. France, for example, has terrible unemployment. If you're French- big problem. If you're not- no problem because you presumably only moved there once you already got a job. Finally, if anyone looks purely at their circumstances then it's quite possible ( probable even) that there will be a country that works out better for them ( whether that's reciprocal is another matter) but that doesn't mean that everyone in country A is better off than everyone in country B.

LaPharisienne · 07/05/2017 12:16

FrenchLavender did you miss all the posts from people who have left?! Including me and my family?

It wasn't as hard for us because DP isn't English and although I was brought up partly in the UK, my family aren't English either. So I can see how it could be hard for some, but also suspect there are lots of people in similar situations to us.

Cantseethewoods · 07/05/2017 12:19

The 'Manchester reluctance' may well be due to lack of expat community/ not as much choice of international schools. Second cities are often problematic in terms of international relocation . Not just aUK phenomenon.

peaceout · 07/05/2017 12:21

Scandinavian countries seem like a good bet but no where is perfect and anything could happen!

caffelatte100 · 07/05/2017 12:26

The 'Manchester reluctance' may well be due to lack of expat community/ not as much choice of international schools. Second cities are often problematic in terms of international relocation . Not just aUK phenomenon.

Yes you may be right, I hadn't thought about that!V

farfarawayfromhome · 07/05/2017 12:29

i left the UK a decade ago and couldn't be happier. everything I see from afar and when I visit confirms my decision.

BlueChairs · 07/05/2017 12:32

Apparently Swiss teachers are payed a shitload ... then again it also cost me £15 for a panini and a coffee in Geneva

FrenchLavender · 07/05/2017 12:47

No, Doorway we went to take specific jobs, but my point is that there are countries where it's possible to just pitch up and be legally entitled to work. It would appear that for many people within the EU the UK is one of them!

Exactly CantSee, that was my point really.

LaPharisienne but you already had a foreign husband, a foreign family and a history of having been born/lived outside the UK. I don't know how old you are but presumably you came to the UK as a child with immigrant parents, so leaving again is something that doesn't totally freak you out.

I think you are in the minority though. Some EU migrants will go back home, some won't, depending on their personal circumstances. But most born-British people with no particular connection to another country (EU or otherwise) who are moaning about the UK going to the dogs since Brexit are highly unlikely to bother to get a job elsewhere and start a new life elsewhere, in spite of their moaning.

Quite simply, for the majority of British people as a whole it simply isn't nearly as beneficial for us to move our families elsewhere as it is for foreigners (from poorer economies or less developed countries) to want to move here.

For the most part we don't have transferable language skills, cannot earn better money, and cannot have better access to better healthcare or better education then we currently have here. It's a simple as that. So there's no point in moaning about it, no point saying 'I'd be out of here like a shot if only I didn't have XWY reason 'excuse when the reality is that relatively few of us are of much use to foreign employers anyway. Or we are, but they won't pay us what we get to stay here and moan.

BertieBotts · 07/05/2017 13:06

We moved away and I don't want to move back now. It's sad because I love the UK but only to visit now. Language is an issue I wish wasn't there but we're all working on it. That does affect employability but TBH I'd be on minimum wage back home anyway, so it makes no odds either way. FWIW, if you have career experience, you can often find work in other European countries in English speaking departments. Just keep searching for jobs in the country you want and apply for them. That is what DH did.

I'm not with my DS's father but they don't have a relationship so it was rather easy to move away. It would have been much more difficult/less likely if they'd been close, but I'm not holding back my life for him when he can't even be arsed. DS has benefited enormously from the move.

BertieBotts · 07/05/2017 13:12

Healthcare is better in most rich European countries. Much as I love the NHS, it's being strangled. You get better healthcare even on the most basic level in Germany for example. Education is probably six of one, half a dozen of the other, but if your DC go through local schooling and hence pick up the language university is usually much cheaper or even free in many European countries. Plus they'd (hopefully) have the option to come back to the UK for higher education if they wanted to later.

FrenchLavender · 07/05/2017 13:30

Healthcare is better in most rich European countries.

Yes and in many of them you have to be prepared to pay a bit upfront for it, which seems considered beyond the pale here!

DissonantInterval · 07/05/2017 13:32

Nowhere is perfect and teachers and other public sector workers do have a very rough time of it. You could go to Australia or new Zealand and maybe Scandinavia where I've heard it's better but each country comes with its own problems. Despite everything I am glad to be a UK citizen. Family came before Ww2 from Russia. Everyone who didn't manage to get here, was killed. I am grateful for the UK accepting us. There's plenty of bad stuff going on but I still believe the UK is a good place to live despite this.

brasty · 07/05/2017 13:55

I agree that it depends who you are. Those who live abroad and are happy with it seem to be those who are white families, fairly ordinary but with decent jobs, that will easily fit in.

I love Iceland, but I also know that although they are friendly to tourists, there are a lot of people who do not want foreigners to move there.

brasty · 07/05/2017 13:59

The NHS is the most efficient way of delivering healthcare. The real problems is people do not want to pay for it. We spend less overall in this country on healthcare than other countries who people say have a better system. That is because they spend money on it.

I am in my 50s and have seen the NHS in a good state and a poor state. The real difference when it was in a good state, was that money was being spent on it. Its not rocket science.

Livelovebehappy · 07/05/2017 19:24

Funny how many leave the UK, but then choose to live in little ex pat communities, and refuse to intergrate or learn the language. Surely part of leaving is to embrace the culture and lifestyle of your chosen country. I suspect lots leave the UK, not because they feel unhappy with the NHS, the government or education, but leave due to the weather. It's easy to feel a whole lot better with your life if the sun is shining every day.

BertieBotts · 07/05/2017 20:05

I agree the NHS is more efficient and is a better system overall. Unfortunately whether you have to pay or not (and I believe that you might in other countries but you don't - aside from a tax-like contribution - where we live) if you're simply comparing standard of care, the UK comes fairly low. It's a great shame - and doesn't need to be that way at all but you might as well admit that it's true. It is little use believing in the NHS and having so much love and praise for it when the people in charge clearly don't give two shits about it. And yes, it should have far more funds allocated.

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