Long story cut short:
I left my ex husband 6 years ago. He was not a bad husband - I met someone else who I fell in love with and it highlighted how I did not love my husband how I should do. We split, he was very upset. I moved out, rented, and bought a house eventually after we sold our marital home and it fit in with him. We have always shared custody of our son who spends very regular time with both of us. Financially, I came out a lot worse. He threatened to make life very difficult if I were to pursue things like his pension and I did not pursue anything. I came off worse financially. He does not give me child maintenance BUT this was agreed because our son still spends regular time with his dad.
I remained single for a year after we split and I got together with the man I fell in love with months after. We are still together now and very happy.
Over the years my ex HAS become far more reasonable and friendly on a day to day basis if we ever need to make contact. He refuses to acknowledge my partner and I think he always will. He has had relationships since we split but they haven't lasted. So whats the problem??
The problem is how SHIT he makes me feel sometimes. We obviously don't have to see each other hardly at all but at times we do, for instance, at our son's college parents' evenings, at a funeral when we had a mutual friend etc. And when we do see each other he makes digs all of the time. This morning I had to see him because we were sorting out something to do with our son. I had just eaten some toast and had a crumb on my shirt. He shook his head and said that he wondered how I managed in life. Another comment centred around the lines of 'I hope our son doesn't turn out like you'. He mentioned a young girl who we both know is pregnant. I said that she seemed very focussed on becoming a mum and then he made a comment like 'yes, until she has a mid-life crisis'. These do not sound like much, but every one has an underlying tone to it - he was basically insinuating that I had left him due to a mid-life crisis.
I have a highly paid job in management, and am currently studying for my masters. I am dropping that in to make the point that I manage very very well in life. My ex just seems to have this need to make me into some kind of dysfunctional woman who bumbles through life. He couldn't be further from the truth. AIBU to expect that this should not happen? A 'friend' said that I should expect it because I left him! How do I snuff it out? I have a feeling that if I snapped back he would become nasty and I do NOT want our son to feel that his parents can't get on. Help.