To not understand what autism is?

[Chocolatemakesmyheartsing]

I am posting here for a bit of traffic and to possibly gain a little more understanding of autism and it's signs and symptoms.

I have 6 year old Dts who are both very happy and bright in their own ways, dts2 has always been a bit behind dts1 in everything walking,talking etc....They're now in year 1 and dts1 is flying through excellent with reading/writing and seems to have good friends, he behaves impeccably at school and I've never had a bad report about him, but when he's at home he's a different child, very clingy anxious has outbursts of anger very similar to that of a toddler tantrum when he's asked to do anything he doesn't want to do

Lately he's been having really bad headaches and has had a major one today which resulted in me taking him to a&e, the doctors there think it could be physiological and caused by stress so is going to refer us back to our gp with the recommendation that he sees a physiologist, but I think there is more to it than that.
With regards to dts2 he has had some major difficulty with reading and writing and has been receiving extra help at school with this.

Yesterday I went in to see his reading teacher who was previously a senco and she said that she believes he may be on the spectrum but didn't really explain to me why she believes this, as I have not noticed any behavioural issues he may have other than the usual 6 year old boy pushing his boundaries, he is a very placid easy child compared to his brother who's only real passion is dinosaurs.

So aibu to ask for some help in recognising some of the many symptoms as what dts2 teacher has said has worried me that I've been overlooking him because I'm having to deal with dts1.

Lorna Wing's original triad was social communication / interaction / imagination.

More recently, that was changed to communication / interaction and repetitive behaviours

In the new DSM5, there are just two core areas

1. social communication / interaction including things like eye contact
2. repetitive behaviours / restricted interests / hated change in routine

there is also increased recognition that many people with autism have unusual sensory experiences. For example, some things seem too loud / too quiet / too bright, and children can have very rigid preferences for particular food / clothes because they find slightly different food/clothes to be horrible.

Overall, autism is very very variable and there are a lot of websites with misleading information or descriptions that don't apply to everyone. So read with care.

Autism is a spectrum disorder so it covers people at one end who live in a complete world of their own who never speak or interact with others to those at the other end who are highly intelligent, function well in the wider world but might have what some people would describe as some quirks. Autistic people of below average IQ are sometimes described as having classic or Kanners autism whereas those of average and higher IQ levels might be described as high functioning or as having aspergers syndrome. All can be described as on the spectrum or ASD (autistic spectrum disorder). This is a link to a description of aspergers syndrome. www.actionforaspergers.org/what-is-aspergers-syndrome/

Parietal, what about Theory of Mind? It's a devastating one..has it been absorbed into social communication? Because poor ToM about oneself has also been a feature in some cases..

I think this is a good start to your question. But, as has been said, autism is individual and so can be different for every individual;-)

Good luck

Orlanda - theory of mind is very important - some would think of it as a core symptom. but it isn't included in any of the diagnostic tests that I know of, which tend to focus on everyday behaviour.

Very interesting to read the thread and the links to information which have been posted.

I don't have anything to add on that front, but I would point out that there are excellent SENCOs and there are also some who aren't quite so great. If all she did was make noises about autism without really being able to explain herself I'd take it with a pinch of salt for now. Push for referrals if needed, get further opinions and listen to what the specialists say, but don't worry too much yet.

I just want to say thank you for all the links, my eldest is being seen by the educational psychologist as he's suspected autism/aspergers, he's only 3.5 and the links have helped me understand what other behaviours he could present apart from the lack of eye contact, delay, repetitive behaviours and lack of socialisation, to me he's just always been the way he is so I didn't really understand why school thought it was autisum/aspergers

Lack of eye contact is a bit of a myth.

My three year old talked until he hit 18 months. He started talking again at about 3. He is clever, funny, loving and has the most gorgeous smile.
He gets upset at a slight change in routine eg, parking in a different parking space at nursery.
Picky eater and eats the same foods day inday out.
Doesn't have friends and is only just able to play alongside others.
Has sensory overload in various situations eg, supermarkets.
No fear of danger and quite often sees a car driving and wants to chase after it.
Swimming pools, assembly, school plays, parties always cause problems. And avoided as much as possible.
Fidgets a lot. Gets anxiety and unable to calm down for long periods of time when upset. Birthday and Xmas presents don't get wrapped and Xmas dinners consist of sausage rolls for him. That's just a insight to our experiences of autism. It presents itself differently to other children and what we face is completely different to my friends son who also has autism.

Hi op, all excellent advise here. I just wanted to add an extra really useful resource which demonstrates the 'spectrum' better as well as the 'dyad' rather than 'triad'.

the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

Also, we were always told never to mention to a parent that we thought a child might be autistic or 'on the spectrum' due to the worry it can cause. If the teacher has concerns there are other ways of reporting/ investigating etc. Hopefully the referral for you will help get to the route of the headaches what ever the outcome.

• to add, as a teacher, you're not qualified to make that judgment.

I've just seen this on another sight.

To be honest i really dont' feel listing a bunch of traits actually helps with understand of autism.

No it doesn't.

Ekphrasis I agree that teachers shouldn't just blurt out that they think children are on the spectrum without clear evidence as it has caused me to worry, saying that though she is/was a senco who moved over to reading development so I don't think she's just looking at him through an untrained eye.

Although I can understand why you feel this way I wish someone had mentioned the word autism when I first started my search for answers as to why ds was different. It was in the 1990's when there was less information and I had no internet, I spent the years between him being aged 3-6 on what felt like a never ending round of him being assessed by various professionals who all agreed there was something but wouldn't/couldn't name it. It was a very worrying and lonely time for me as it seemed like I was the first person who had ever had a child like him. At aged 6 it was suggested that I visit a school that I later discovered was for autistic children and that was the first time I had any clue that this might be where his difficulties lay. I read a lot about autism after that and finally paid for a private diagnosis when he was 21.
Although your SENCO may have worried you at least she sounds like she is trying to help.

I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if someone has said what i am going to say.
Autism is a spectrum disorder as it affect everyone in different ways. Its a group of disordereds under the autism spectrum.
Genereally people that do have autism have difficulites in 3 main areas social communication, social interaction and social imagination these are know as the triad of autism. It is very difficult to outline what these mean and how they affect someone as they present and affect in a variety of different ways. We are a household of 5 and 4 of us have some form of autism diagnosis but we are all very different and we are all affected very differently.

Parietal, thanks, oh god. It is the most devastating one to live with within a NT:AS partnership. And is the underlying source of so much "everyday " behaviour.

To the pp who said non eye contact is a bit of a myth: what evidence do you have for that? Sure, all AS people differ, some cultures have no eye contact as a norm anyway, some AS people are happy with eye contact or have been trained to do it, some NT people go through phases - lots of teens I know go through a no eye contact phase- but it is a not uncommon feature in AS.

The issues which are a problem for us as a family (ds and dn have high functioning autism but are very different, I've been referred for assessment, MrNC could get referred but as a man working in computing and with all his friends on the spectrum, no point) - dealing with transitions, sensory issues, emotional regulation, and taking things literally.

So for example ds is happy at home, and also enjoys eating in certain approved restaurants, going to the playground, going to visit family. But getting him to get dressed and ready and out the door is the worst thing in the world ever, because it's a change. As soon as the door slams behind him, he's fine, but the anxiety over going from 'home' to 'outside' means it can take an hour to persuade him to get shoes and socks on. Unless it's a school day, when there is a set routine and he knows that 8.25 means shoes and socks on and 8.30 means walk out the door, shoes on or not.

Lots of sensations are terrifying - imaging most things being like nails down a blackboard or like your least favourite food making you feel sick. Dn can't handle most clothes; ds is terrified of most food and will starve for 3 days rather than eat anything that doesn't look exactly like his few 'safe' foods.

Ds takes instructions literally so while he's advanced at reading, if the TA askes 'so what happens next' in a book, he can only reply 'I don't know, I haven't read it'. If they ask him to predict what might happen next, he's actually fine, but only if that's exactly what's asked. Similarly if told he can do X, but then there's a problem and we can't do it, eg if someone else ate all the biscuits, then there will be sobbing and anxiety for hours - because reality wasn't as promised.
The smallest thing that doesn't meet expectations = disaster. He can cope with all sorts of problems if they don't clash with his mental image of the word, but because his ideas of what is difficult are different to those of most people, mainstream kids get a school and life that generally fits and he doesn't.

I agree non-autistic people generally are crap at thinking how other people feel, it's just that generally other people will feel as they do, and autistic people respond differently.

I know chocolate, I meant to say even a senco, I'd echo the comment made by another poster about sencos - I have more training than a senco and even in my position I'm not allowed to make that comment unless a parent directly asked me - even then I'd be quite careful about what I said. I'd make relevant referrals and let it go from there.

The only real comment they should make is to say they'll refer to SALT or or an OT or an ed psych.

I wish my son's teacher had told us what they wanted to look into and what doctor referal they where doing 3 years ago because walking into a clinic at a health center and the first question your asked is why do you think your son is autistic? I can tell you is a bit of a shock when you don't even know what autism is
We sat and said there was nothing wrong with our son he was just like his daddy. How wrong where we after 12 months of watching we realised he has he got issues we spent another 18 months trying to get him refered again because he was getting more and more upset by stranger and stranger things. The first thing I said to his teacher when I realised she was right was why didn't you tell me what you ment? She wasnt allowed which is stupid really really stupid!!!it caused us alot if unnecessary waiting.
3 years later she is his teacher again and she is doing everything in her power to get stuff done for him. And every doctor we meet thinks my husband is autistic

I've only met a few children with ASD who struggle with eye contact. The majority will gaze happily into eyes or desperately try to catch your eye while they tell you all about x y z. In fact I'm aware I don't make much eye contact when I'm feeling low. It's more an anxiety/ nerves link than autism.

People on the spectrum tend to be less able to track facial expressions though, including eyes. Their gaze will scoot to other elements more, e.g. Clothes or an ear whereas neurotypical people will spend more time focussing on the eyes for expression, even if glancing at clothes etc.