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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have sent dd to her Dad's?

51 replies

chasegirl · 05/05/2017 22:39

Dd has had toncilitis this week but has had 3 days of antibiotics so seemed well enough to go to school today no problems there. I did text her Dad to tell him she had not been well but had no response.
Her Dad just texted me as she has gone to his for the weekend (his weekend) that he feels I have not been honest re her illness as she is still 'clearly infectious' and has been coughing and has a streaming nose.
She's had 3 full days of antibiotics now and has had no tempreture for over 24hrs. He does have toddler twins tho.

So was I unreasonable to let her go to her Dad's this weekend?

She is now coming home

OP posts:
Original poster
chasegirl · 05/05/2017 22:45

Full full info she was at his for tea on Monday then was ill on Tuesday so I think she was infectious on Monday and is unlikely to now be infectious after 3 days of antibiotics bur neither of us are medics

OP posts:
ambereyesore · 05/05/2017 22:47

So he only has to parent his daughter when she's well Hmm

What would he have done if you were still together.

My ex tried to pull this stunt.

No dude, she's ill and you're still her dad.

LittleNellsDog · 05/05/2017 22:47

Yanbu, it's his child too!

DoItTooJulia · 05/05/2017 22:47

What, so she can only be infectious at yours?

What a cunt. As if he's not looking after his poorly daughter.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 05/05/2017 22:48

Of course yanbu. He's her parent! Even if she is infectious. Why is it worse to be infectious around you than around him?

ilovelamp82 · 05/05/2017 22:49

Why is she coming back to you? Why on earth wouldn't he look after her even if she's unwell?

Original poster
chasegirl · 05/05/2017 22:51

He needs come first! My plans for this weekend go out the window. I should have posted on here before replying hindsight is great and so are all of you

OP posts:
MyCalmX · 05/05/2017 22:51

Well I'd want her home if she wanted to come home but if he sent her home because of the dt I'd be fucking furious and say I wasn't home.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 05/05/2017 22:52

Have the twins caught it?

Original poster
chasegirl · 05/05/2017 22:54

I normally would be out but was catching up on stiff I couldn't do cos I was looking after her like the food shop.

No mention of her wanting to come home. She had been clingy all week but was absolutely back to normal regarding that. If she was still clingy I wouldn't have sent her to his.

OP posts:
UppityHumpty · 05/05/2017 22:54

Where does he send his toddlers when they become poorly when she comes over? Or does infection only matter when it's about his 'old family'? That's her house too. It's not right that he fobs her off so blatantly. You need to have sharp words with him - he and his new partner are either all in, or they're out.

Original poster
chasegirl · 05/05/2017 22:55

Still driving not as far as I know. She us 9 and they are nearly 2.

Not sure if you can catch toncilitis?

OP posts:
YoniFucker · 05/05/2017 22:56

Wow. It's obvious why he's an ex.
Hope you and DD have a good weekend.

Original poster
chasegirl · 05/05/2017 22:56

I had to have time off work this week to look after her too he never offered.

OP posts:
Mari50 · 05/05/2017 22:58

Going on my own experience with DD, had she been on antibiotics (or even not) after 3 days she would be good to go anywhere. Whether she would want to is a completely different matter!

ilovelamp82 · 05/05/2017 22:58

He's driving her over at this time of night???? What an absolute bellend.

UppityHumpty · 05/05/2017 22:58

You can't catch tonsilitis. I think you need to tell him that the visits aren't working - he clearly doesn't want to parent her when he has his other kids. He needs to man up.

MyCalmX · 05/05/2017 22:58

You can catch tonsillitis but it's through saliva AFAIK.

MadamePomfrey · 05/05/2017 22:59

Ridiculous!! do his twins live in a bubble?? Bugs are everywhere she had antibiotics was well enough for school he needs to man up and be a parent!

StarryIllusion · 05/05/2017 23:02

Is tonsillitis contagious? If so then I would have gone mad if I were him. All very well saying that he is her parent too but he has two toddlers living there and probably doesn't want them catching it. Germs are germs whether you are related or not. Why would you risk her much younger siblings/half siblings getting it if you have the option to keep them apart until she is no longer infectious?

If it isn't contagious then he is just being a twat and should man the fuck up and look after his daughter.

Fruitcorner123 · 05/05/2017 23:03

Oh my goodness. So he only will look after her if she is well. If she falls poorly she is entirely your responsibility. It's men like your ex who give dads a bad name.

StarryIllusion · 05/05/2017 23:03

Should have been step siblings/half siblings, sorry, I'm knackered.

BettyBackchat · 05/05/2017 23:11

I think I probably wouldn't have sent a 9 year old with tonsillitis to a house where there were two toddlers who might catch it - for the sake of the toddlers, not the father.

UppityHumpty · 05/05/2017 23:13

So I presume the toddlers will be sent away to grans if they got anything infectious during the visits. If not then the dad is shoring up a lifetime of ill will. She's 9, she'll be a teenager soon, and plenty old enough to know her dad doesn't care about her as much as his other kids.

Original poster
chasegirl · 05/05/2017 23:16

No idea what he will do if 1 toddler gets I'll but the other doesn't.

If she was ever infectious is would gave been on Monday when she last saw them.

OP posts: