To say fuck it lets have number three

[Ps4widow]

Am 25 have two dc ages 4 and 1. My dd starts school in August. Iam a sahm but plan to return to work after my ds starts school in a few years.
So i have only worked a few years in my adult life.
My ds was born unwell and we have only come out of the other end of it and he us a normal healthy 1 year old .
I need a op which means after it i wont be alble to have more kids.
I can life without it for a few years but after that i really would need it .
Iam not ready yet to close the door on no more kids but i need to op.
Iam starting to think that we might be better just ttc as i know we want number 3 just not this soon . Money wise we would struggle abit but when i start working it will be fine and also ive spend more time not working then working which isnt good.
I dont know what to do

Madame that isn't what she is saying at all! It's not whether to have another is a fuck it decision really, more timing isn't great but she wants another, the life itself isn't a throw away thought

I do hate the overpopulated arguments, I am really green wherever I can be but would have seriously regretted not having a third. What is the point of preserving a planet for the people on it to be unhappy? Life is for living and as long as you aren't selfish with options that wouldn't make a huge life changing impact on you like recycling, not leaving all lights on, walking etc then I think it's ok. I also thought we were massively overpopulated with older generations and actually in need of more of the young, I'm sure I heard that somewhere but could be wrong. If it worries you by all means limit the number of children you have but don't guilt others

TheOnlyLivingBoy, do you have any children?

torally agree onlylivingboy some people just think of there own situation and fail to look at the bigger picture.

I personally think if you have two. And you would be unhappy without that 3rd. Maybe it's not about the children. If it was, what you have would be enough. There is no magic number. It really sounds like "me, me, me" is what it's about.

Having children in an overpopulated planet, thinking life isn't worth living without 3 instead of 2. Says a lot. Imho.

I'm not saying life wouldn't have been worth living with two!!! Jees I could have been very happy with just my first if that was all nature intended. What I was saying is that there would have always been a part of me that would have regretted not having more. It's not all about me, I come from a big family and loved always having someone around to talk to and I love it when we still all meet up now, my family are my friends and it made me very happy. I wanted that for my children too. A large family was important to me and I don't see the point in not making yourself happy if you can afford to do so and have the time to commit to them. It's about creating the family that makes you most happy. I'm quite a green person in a lot of ways so not totally irresponsible but I plan to live my life.
Interesting to know how many of you 'the planet is overpopulated people' also do not smoke, are vegetarian and walk everywhere possible. Some probably but I bet not all!

Oh and if it was all me me me, I'd have had a 4th! We aren't because we feel it would, in our situation, take too much time away from the wonderful kids we already have so very much thinking of them

3 is seriously hard work. And bloody expensive!

I feel that this thread should go in MN "Classics" due to the shocking hypocrisy that's being sprayed about here.

OP, I don't believe you are trying to replace the child you lost. From personal experience I know that sometimes something shitty like a mc can actually crystallise what you want your life to be like re: children.

I would say go for it. You give no indication of being pressurised by another, you have bf sly coped with DS' illness and come out the other side, you seem to have a plan to return to work but are nervy about "leaving it too late" (you won't) and above all you seem to have enough love in the family to go round and have a third. As long as you and DH are on the same page why not?

So yeah, fuck it: feel the fear and do it anyway. You've got youth on your side and trust me when I say that's precious x

bf sly?
*bravely

and we are draining its natural resources at a terrifying rate

Prove it.

Prove it? Oh, FFS. If there is anybody alive who is still stupid enough to believe that the earth has infinite resources, that we are not stripping the world of its all too finite resources with reckless greed, they are certainly too stupid to believe any proof to the contrary.

Proof, please, that it is being drained at a terrifying rate.

And please explain how we reconcile raising three children with 'reckless greed'.

Thank you for all your replys. At this moment we will not ttc but will see when ds turns two. Just now iam going to look at work or even college nothing big but something that will get me back on the ladder while still being an almost sahm.also enjoy my two healthy kids and normal family life

Go for it!! I did and now have 5! 3 and 4 were twins. I had mine very young and stayed home a very long time. Now pushing 40 and training in the NHS. Still have 25 years of work. So don't worry about that. People are so focused on paid work but unpaid and care for family just as important!!

It's your life, we can't make the decision for you. If you both want another go for it. The love of potential child should drive you more than anything.

I would say with the op you need, you don't want any regrets after you've done it. I think some may be all img your 25, but say by your 40's you'll have a super life.

By that I mean my parents had us young, they party more than we do. It's quite sad really.

It baffles me that people ask random strangers on MN to help guide them in what is a very personal decision. Only you and your DH can decide this, OP. Are you looking for support to rationalise your decision to have another? Or are you hoping that people's arguments against will dissuade you?