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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask about experiences with dummies.

48 replies

CabbagePatchKid91 · 05/05/2017 14:11

DD is 13 days old. I want to give her a dummy but my midwife said to wait for four weeks. My poor nipples are suffering from having baby on them constantly and sometimes she is just comfort suckling. Literally as soon as I put my top back on she wants something back in her mouth. BF is pretty well established. I don't want to confuse her but my nipples are suffering despite applications of Lansinoh’s and cabbage leaves.
Would love to hear other people's experience with dummies. Please be gentle with me I'm an anxious first time mum.

OP posts:

2014newme · 05/05/2017 14:13

I didn't bf but did use dummies. Dds stopped having them of their own accord at 15 months.

SleepyHeadThisTime · 05/05/2017 14:16

Order some Jelonet (pharmacy or eBay) and apply after every feed for your nips. Give your baby a dummy - just use it after a good feed so you know she's not sucking for hunger. My second child had a dummy after a week - best decision I could have made as it saved me a lot of pain from comfort sucking and LO a lot of overtired crying.

Winniethepooer · 05/05/2017 14:17

I used a dummy with dd from the day she was borm & bf for a year.

Do whatever you need to, to get through it!

SleepyHeadThisTime · 05/05/2017 14:18

Oh, and if you try and keep her awake during a feed until she comes off by massaging her head or playing with her hands you'll know she's had a good feed

Parietal · 05/05/2017 14:19

dummies are fine but as your baby gets bigger, try to restrict the dummy to sleep time so it doesn't interfere with learning to talk.

OlennasWimple · 05/05/2017 14:21

Is she suggesting delaying to avoid nipple confusion?

DS was about 3 weeks old when he first had a dummy. Only used when he had a good feed, but wanted to keep suckling for comfort. Didn't stop him working out that they weren't the real thing!

HeyMicky · 05/05/2017 14:22

Anecdotal sample of 1, I know, but both of mine had dummies from the 2nd wee and there was no nipple confusion and supply wasn't affected.

PippaPug · 05/05/2017 14:23

I'm torn on them (I am a Nanny) but on the whole I find them a pain (but equally I have never done the nights with a teeny newborn!)

When they have a cold (especially when little) I have found they can't suck the dummy and breath so they spit the dummy out, cry for the dummy go back to sleep and then spit the dummy out over and over (I did 3 months as a night nanny and parents didn't want to get rid of dummy) so a 3 week cold was terrible!

When older they can ask for them/go and get them and if they whinge I find parents (and nannies!) tend to give it to them to keep them quiet

They can keep them for years, I know a almost 5 year old with one

But they are known to help lower the risks of SIDS, they can help with sleep (and sounds like your baby is a very sucky little one) also if they find their thumb it can be harder in the years to come to ditch the thumb!

So not helpful at all - sorry!

BlahBlahBlahEtc · 05/05/2017 14:30

Why would she say wait 4 weeks? Am I missing something? Having a dummy lowers SIDS risk so I would have thought she'd have recommended it.
Anywho! My daughter never had any problems / nipple confusion with a dummy at all. I just got rid when they became a problem (she kept losing them about 4 million times a night and waking up) around 8 months old or so.

4sausages · 05/05/2017 14:31

I gave all mine a dummy for the same reasons you say at around a week old. DD didn't take to it at all but both DSs did and it didn't interfere with bf at all.

The first few weeks are so hard I think you have to do whatever it takes to keep you sane. Sleep deprivation is awful.
I would agree with PPs though and at some point (mine were around 7 months) use them for sleep time only.

Congratulations on your bubba.

Original poster

CabbagePatchKid91 · 05/05/2017 14:33

She said four weeks as I am breast feeding. She also said to not to express for bottle feeding for the same amount of time as to avoid nipple confusement.

OP posts:

4sausages · 05/05/2017 14:40

Personally I don't think it's necessary to wait till she's four weeks old, especially if you feel breastfeeding is established, but only you can decide whether to heed the midwife's advice. :)

BlahBlahBlahEtc · 05/05/2017 14:43

I think a lot of midwives / health visitors use their own opinions on things like this. I dunno, it's up to you but as a personal opinion, I'd give the little one a dummy if I was in your position.

toffeeboffin · 05/05/2017 14:45

Used dummies with great success with both DS and DD.

I do not know how I coped without them!

Took me about a day to be persuaded to use them, they soothe instantly.

toffeeboffin · 05/05/2017 14:46

Four weeks?

Ok, so get her to come around at 3am to soothe your kid

Jazzywazzydodah · 05/05/2017 14:47

A life saver!

BUT dd2 ended up with separated teeth and an over bite as she was 3 before we finally got rid 🙈

They do damage teeth

Hullabaloo31 · 05/05/2017 14:47

I didn't want to give my first baby one, I held out until he was about 12 weeks old and the lactation consultant who had cut his tongue-tie told me to as it would help him stretch out his tongue and re-learn how to suck properly. Never had any problems feeding after that.

Second child had one from about 2 days old! Again no probs. I restricted to sleep times and hurty teeth periods pretty quickly.

LadyPW · 05/05/2017 14:48

Is it weird that my initial thought was that this was about dummies in shop windows with clothes on? Or that my second thought was idiots?!

Yura · 05/05/2017 14:48

i tried with both of my exclusively bf kids - they never accepted a dummy. good news is, your nipples get used to it!

contrary13 · 05/05/2017 14:56

My DS was a comfort sucker, too, OP - except, he wouldn't... yep, that's wouldn't... breastfeed after the initial one. Refused to latch on, refused to suckle, screamed until in desperation (and to the disgust of the midwives) I gave him a bottle. Well, it was either that, or he starve to death, quite frankly.

Within two weeks, he also had a dummy. And that is because the only things that would keep him quiet between feeds were (a) being driven around, and (b) the little finger on my right hand.

He used his "binky" until he was 3 or 4, sporadically, when he was teething, unwell, needed comfort. He is very intelligent (according to his school reports), can speak without any issue, and has perfectly aligned teeth (as do I, who still has been known to thumb-suck in her sleep... and I'm 40).

Please, OP, ignore the "you'll damage their teeth", "they won't learn how to talk/walk/use the toilet" naysayers. Do what is right for your baby.

Incidentally, my older child didn't have a dummy.

Each child/baby is different. And if yours comfort suckles, then a dummy will help teach her to self-soothe (and give you a break).

BetterEatCheese · 05/05/2017 15:04

Do it. My dd just wanted to suck something and I couldn't have her attached to me all day. Just do what you need to do

lifesjoys · 05/05/2017 15:22

Mine had one from day one. He now has it for sleeping

elmo1980 · 05/05/2017 15:27

I had to give my ds a bottle of formula after 2 days as my milk hadn't come in and thereafter mixed bf and bottle feeding so they don't always get nipple confusion.

He is a comfort sucker and I was reluctant to give him a dummy at first so gave him my finger instead. Gave him dummy in the end for late night waking but that's it.

Do what's right for you, you can control how much he has the dummy and I think they have to be using them an awful lot over a long period of time before it affects teeth or speech.

Roomba · 05/05/2017 15:30

I didn't use one with DS1, but DS2 was a very sucky velcro baby with reflux so I used one from about a week old. It never affected breastfeeding - I fed him for four years! I honestly couldn't have coped without it.

My ex disapproved strongly and tutted a lot but I told him it wasn't his nipples being shredded and to butt out.

DS gradually used it less and less and had given up on entirely, all by himself, by six months old. So it doesn't always follow that they'll be welded to their dummy until they are seven without a battle.

fuzzyllama · 05/05/2017 15:35

I attempted to give mine a dummy at 9 weeks old for the same reasons you state. She wouldn't take it no matter how many times I tried. It was annoying at the time as I was desperate for her to take it, but I'm actually glad she never took to one, as it meant I never had to go through the hassle of getting her to part with it.

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