To ask about experiences with dummies.

[CabbagePatchKid91]

DD is 13 days old. I want to give her a dummy but my midwife said to wait for four weeks. My poor nipples are suffering from having baby on them constantly and sometimes she is just comfort suckling. Literally as soon as I put my top back on she wants something back in her mouth. BF is pretty well established. I don't want to confuse her but my nipples are suffering despite applications of Lansinoh’s and cabbage leaves.
Would love to hear other people's experience with dummies. Please be gentle with me I'm an anxious first time mum.

Used from day 1 with DS2 as he was a sucky maniac. No nipple confusion, no absolutely no issues going between breast, bottle and pacifier. Used from about 1 month with DS1 but he wasn't as sucky.

Purely anecdotal evidence (based on myself, friends and co-workers here), but I've found that those of us that introduced bottles at around 2-3 weeks old after it was clear that baby was gaining weight, plenty of wet/dirty nappies etc, had a much greater success rate in getting baby to happily go between breast and bottle.

Those that left it to 8-12 weeks had no end of misery because the baby had gotten used to the breast. As tiny babies, it seems that they're much more adaptable. I don't know anyone who has introduced a pacifier and had a baby suffer nipple confusion.

Congratulations on your new baby! Do whatever you need to do to get some rest, pacifiers were a godsend for me with DS2!

Ds1 wouldn't take one because I waited a few weeks to try it. Ds2 had one from day2. Both breastfed til 14mo and still going at 13mo. Nipple confusion is not a thing. Ds2 just spit the dummy out when he was actually hungry. Allowed me to get him into a 3hr sleep/ eat routine uNike Ds1 who was attached to me almost constantly.
Both very comfort sucky babies. Both very independent, confident and happy to run off to play as toddlers.
Ds2 naturally rejected the dummy at 10mo.
It was tempting to persevere with the dummy but actually he was spitting it out and crying for it at night so wasn't worth the bother and his routine had been established.
Trouble comes when they get to toddler hood with it still.

Neither of my kids would take a dummy. Stubborn buggers.

As a teacher who has seen a few five year olds being given dummies on leaving school at the end of the day, I hate dummies with a passion. Then I had a sucky baby - cried my eyes out for an hour when I finally gave in and gave him a dummy then when I actually got some sleep wondered what on earth I'd been so worked up about!! As he got older I restricted it to sleep times/when he was ill and it's not affected him in any way.

Congrats on your new baby and go for it - you need to survive the exhausting newborn phase!

I was a midwife myself and suffered from raw, bleeding nipples. I turned to nipple shields and a dummy both times. Saved feeding 100%.

The shields were brilliant and allowed my skin to heal. Only slight drawback was that feeds took a bit longer. I used them for several weeks with dc1 and less time with dc2.

Dummies I started from just a few days old out of desperation, at that time they were pretty frowned upon. Both DC became very attached to them and you know what? I didn't care. They loved them and thrived. I also didn't insist in them giving them up at some arbitrary age, just let them stop naturally. Dc1 was quite old (5ish) when he stopped hiding his under his pillow ( perfect teeth and speech). Dc2 decided age 3 he was too old and stopped alone.

They have drawbacks but they are also comforting and have health benefits. Your midwife is only advising, using generic information. It's up to you if you feel it applies to you.

Best wishes.

I bf both my boys for 1 year and expressed and bottle fed occasionally from2 weeks. Both had dummies from birth (although DS2 was never fussed on his - ds1 had his till he was 3..). There was never the hint of nipple confusion.

Get the dummy!!!!

(Also get Lansinoh for your nipples - before and after every feed religiously. Miracle stuff.)

Mine was BF at the start and had a dummy. Before she had a dummy, she was in scbu and one of the nurses used to put a fresh glove on and let her suck her finger. I couldn't actually BF for about 4 days when she was first in scbu, and then she had a dummy, and she never refused being BF or had any confusion.

Mine is breastfed and 6 weeks now and has had a dummy from day 3. I sent dh out at 4am to Tesco to get one as I was so tired and in pain from ds comfort sucking. He wasn't a fan of it in the early days but is happy enough with it now - I mainly use it to settle for naps. I've also been giving a bottle of expressed bm every few days since week 4 just to get him used to the bottle and so far no nipple confusion and he is happy to take either.

I gave DS a dummy when he was seven days old, so respect for lasting 13 days . It was a relief, I was at the end of my tether. He's now 18, his teeth are unaffected by using the dummy for years. He gave it up of his own accord aged 3/4.

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. Do what feels right for you. Sometimes the 'accepted wisdom' is wrong/irrelevant/the personal preference of the person handing it out.

My daughter would not take a dummy but the first week of her life she had bottles as well as breast because she had jaundice. Defo no nipple confusion.

Youngest had one from 2 weeks and she stopped herself after a month.
Didn't make no difference to bf and 15 months later she is still bf (constantly).

We were told at NCT (not known for their support of, well, anything non-crunchy) that dummies are proven to slightly decrease the risk of SIDs, and that if you remove them early enough, the baby won't really care.

However, totally anecdotally - DD is currently screaming in a fury whenever she comes off the breast. However, she considers a dummy to be a conspiracy against her, and on the two occasions we've tried it, she went into a temper tantrum the likes of which you've never seen.

DD1 was given a dummy in NICU. Had it till just after 2. Screamed blue murder for 4 hours the night we gave up the dummies to the dummy fairy but was fine after that.
DD2 is 9 weeks old, won't take a dummy. Will only suck my nipples or my finger. I'm praying she starts comfort sucking her thumb or fingers to self settle.

Nipples confusion is generally more common with bottues than dummies from what I understand. Babies have to work much harder to remove milk from the breast so if bottles are added to much/to quick there's a risk (not certainty) that they will prefer the easier option. The probl with dummies & bf is if you use them instead of bf - every comfort feed keeps up your milk supply, esprecisely important during growth spurts. If you've fed for 2 hrs & just want five minutes to yourself try it, or if yrs for the last 2 mins buggy ride before you get in & feed to stop screaming. Just keep to it sparingly, especially during 1-5am when you need to bf lots to keep up prolactin.

Bf isn't really 'established' in midwife terms until the 6 week growth spurt is done. At 6 weeks growth spurt a baby will take more milk than at any other time, so bf on demand including comfort feeds means you will have enough milk to keep bf (ofcourse it changes in consitancy & calories & make up but in terms of volume it's the 6 wk growth spurt that matters) so as long as you are bf the vast majority of the time & just using dummy here it there you shd be fine. Often bf baby's reject dummies tho so don't bank on it

The 4 weeks is to establish supply- yes a lot is "comfort sucking" rather than feeding, but it's main purpose is to stimulate supply. Sucking is how your supply will increase and regulate, even if they aren't feeding. Vital in the first few weeks.

O/p bear that in mind if you do choose to use dummies. It can be tempting to use the dummy rather than let them comfort suck, you can eat, have a cup of tea, who wouldn't! But it can intefere with supply.

So i'd hold off if you can. If you do decide limit it as much as possible, still let her suck if she wants, just use the dummy to get you over the rough bits.

Also, i found it was latching on and off that caused the pain and damage. If i sat on the sofa all day and just left him there to wake and feed i was much less sore.

Finally, keep going! This phase is so tough but it will get better, probably around that 4-6 week mark...

Stroke- my 3dc all had bottles from the firest few days & all became bottle refusers early on. Within bf peer support training group meets we generally find those with laid back canny kids took bottles no matter when they were introduced, & those with high needs baby/kids refused no matter what point they were introduced.

We were told at NCT (not known for their support of, well, anything non-crunchy) that dummies are proven to slightly decrease the risk of SIDs, and that if you remove them early enough, the baby won't really care.

While this is technically true, it is removing the dummy before a year that increases sids risk. So if you give one it should be kept until at least 12m.

I loved dummies. Don't get the dummy hate. Infinitely easier habit to break than a thumb, and gives them so much comfort.

That's not what they actually said - and they did mention that study too - but perhaps someone misunderstood? I've not seen the study myself so can't check.

In NICU they give dummies to preserve the sucking reflux.
My dd had dummies for a week before she was even allowed to try breastfeeding, she would have been exclusively breastfed if she had her way, although I chose to give her a bottle twice a day.

Don't worry about the 4 week rule. Do what is right for you and your baby.

My DS1 has one, he's 2.5 and we want to wean him off. He was doing fab but then 6 weeks ago DD2 arrived and she has s dummy do he has regressed a bit. She is exclusively bf at moment and has dummy to settle etc She's had it since early days and she's never been confused at all!

Do what's best for you...happy Mum happy Baby!
My son would latch on for hours as he wanted comfort rather than feeding. When I gave him a dummy I felt human again!

Mine had dummies from a couple of days old. They stayed in their cots, and never had them unless they were going to sleep. Worked wonders, they would have been permanently attached to my nipples otherwise.

Another reason for waiting 4-6 weeks is your supply is still establishing so you want to give your breasts lots of stimulation. If you're happy with your supply and that she is getting enough then go for it

Pick a big "old school" cherry style one so she still opens wide with it and curls her tongue around the bottom of it .