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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish we could stop viewing wrinkles and ageing so negatively

44 replies

GreatAuntPrudish · 05/05/2017 13:41

I've hurt my back so don't anyone disagree with me!

I feel like I'm the only person on MN who
(a) looks their age
(b) has lines and wrinkles

But if you Google obsessively do some research, you'll find plenty of attractive women who have crows feet etc but look happy and engaged with life. Isn't that more important than looking young?

Yes, I know you can look young and be happy and engaged with life but that's not the point of my thread. Bear with me - and my bad back -whilst I post a few photos to prove that I'm right my point.

To wish we could stop viewing wrinkles and ageing so negatively
To wish we could stop viewing wrinkles and ageing so negatively
To wish we could stop viewing wrinkles and ageing so negatively
OP posts:
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GreatAuntPrudish · 05/05/2017 13:42

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To wish we could stop viewing wrinkles and ageing so negatively
To wish we could stop viewing wrinkles and ageing so negatively
OP posts:
JustAKitten · 05/05/2017 13:43

I partially agree with you. It's certainly not the most important thing, however I'll still do what I can to not look old.

GreatAuntPrudish · 05/05/2017 13:46

And

To wish we could stop viewing wrinkles and ageing so negatively
To wish we could stop viewing wrinkles and ageing so negatively
OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 05/05/2017 13:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 05/05/2017 13:49

Who is the first lady with the bobbed blonde hair? I guess with these examples though they are all extremely good-looking to start with, so have a bit of a headstart on the rest of us!

Also crowsfeet and laughter lines are fine - but the ones between your eyes (like frown lines), round the mouth and neck are a bit different. They really make you look old, whereas the crowsfeet and laughter lines seem to look attractive. Odd.

Raffles1981 · 05/05/2017 13:51

I personally have no issue with growing old. I am 36 and have noticed the changes in my body, compared to how I was in my 20's, and now being 21 weeks pregnant, I am very aware of the mad changes happening. I have a colleague who totally flipped about turning 35, she kept reminding me that I was 36 this year. But it does not make me hyperventilate - it is life. We should just be grateful that we are allowed to grow old. My brother died at 38, in a freak accident. So I don't let age, wrinkles, any grey hairs I may get, bother me. We all change, we all grow old. I don't judge anyone who decides to have botox/surgery/face lifts etc - that is your choice. As it is mine to just grow old gracefully. If anything, the older I get, the more confident I am within my own skin. We all have a different way of looking at our wrinkles and or saggy bits. But for every day that my big brother did not get, I intend to make up for that, instead of spending hours in a clinic, trying to look younger and then spending weeks recovering, just so you can gain a compliment or two. I personally would rather not x

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 05/05/2017 13:51

I absolutely agree with you. I don't mind looking my age, I do mind that I have very dark circles that don't shift.

Those pictures you've posted are of normal looking women. Nicole Kidman (for example) who is about the same age as some of them is looking increasingly odd as her face is just smooth and doesn't move. Shame because she really is a lovely looking woman.

Birdsgottaf1y · 05/05/2017 14:02

I was really saddened to see how Goldie Horn looked in the trailer to her new film. It was shown not long after me and me Adult DD had watched 'House Sitter', again.

It's her loss of expressions, not actual appearance. A younger example is Charlotte from Geordie Shore, it's such a shame.

The anti-aging propaganda has an element of every day sexism, about it. Once Women aren't considered as fuckable as they once were, it's like we should disappear from society, if we can't keep up.

'Old' is used as an insult on here, it's been the last ism that has been banned, but it took a lot of complaining and there's many that still don't agree with ageism banning.

People argue that they aren't middle aged at 40-45, but Middle-Age shouldn't mean a label, anymore, like divorced, doesn't.

If you want to be soul destroyed, watch reality shows were there's an attractive older Woman, who is basically torn to bits, off camera, just because she still enjoys life.

Floisme · 05/05/2017 14:05

Agreed. The positive thing I take from looking older is that it's a very effective reminder that my life is well over half over and time is beginning to run out.

It's one of many reasons why, despite being massively vain, I won't have any work done. My face gives me a kick up the arse every morning and prods me to get a move on.

Which is why I must get off Style and Beauty for a bit Grin Hope your back is better soon, op.

bananafish81 · 05/05/2017 14:06

My husband often points out how beautiful Naomi Watts is particularly because she hasn't had work done and she's aging naturally

He's gonna hit the roof when I tell him I've got an appointment for botox!

She is completely stunning, as are all the women whose photos you've linked

Unfortunately I don't look like Naomi Watts so I can't carry off my crows feet with the style and panache she can!

bananafish81 · 05/05/2017 14:08

(I'm also much younger than Naomi Watts so I resent having terrible crows feet at 35, if I was in my 40s it would be more age appropriate!)

JaneJeffer · 05/05/2017 14:08

I agree with you OP. Naomi Watts looks great. She is best friend of Nicole Kidman yet they have taken the opposite routes when it comes to ageing. Nicole was gorgeous. I bet she would have aged beautifully.

I think Mary Nightingale looks lovely and natural

To wish we could stop viewing wrinkles and ageing so negatively
GreatAuntPrudish · 05/05/2017 14:23

Sorry about your brother, Raffles - glad you have chosen to carpe diem.

Rebecca - first two photos are of Naomi Watts, then Emma Thompson, Mariella Frostrup, Andie MacDowell, Kristen Scott Thomas.

I've seen photos where they all have mouth lines/wrinkles but these are usually most obvious when the face is in repose and I wanted to show them smiling.

OP posts:
RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 05/05/2017 14:38

Naomi Watts - thank you!

True what you say though about smiling hiding the mouth wrinkles. I shall walk round to the school grinning like the Cheshire cat.

Raffles1981 · 05/05/2017 14:53

I will never understand all the young girls on TOWIE - 25 years old at best and not one part of their face moves and they have lips you could trampoline on. It's madness to me.

AngelicaSchuylerChurch · 05/05/2017 15:39

Completely agree, OP. We are losing all sense of what a naturally ageing woman looks like. I think photo retouching has a lot to answer for.

I was watching Drag Race recently (don't judge!) and they had Naya Rivera on, who played Santana in Glee. She is beautiful but her face looked so puffy and artificially smooth that she looks like a middle-aged woman who has had a lot of work done. She is thirty.

ArseyTussle · 05/05/2017 15:44

Interesting what ageing is considered attractive and what isn't. I don't mind my crows feet and laughter lines, but don't like my 11s (or 1s in my case), my Cindy Beale cheeks that concertina up when I smile and I hate my crepey neck. I also dye my hair.

All these women dye their hair and seem to have fabulous necks.

busterhall · 05/05/2017 15:53

I agree that a lot of posters on here in there mid 30's and 40's claim to look younger, not have wrinkles etc. Its the same with online dating everyone things they are young for their age!

However I that doesn't mean I want wrinkles myself. The women in the OP are all top class beauties with great bone structure and so while they have a few lines and crows feet they still look beautiful at mature years.

Most of us are not world class beauties and it was youth that made up pretty and attractive until our mid 30's. After the youth goes we just look old, sure we can look our best, enjoy our life be engaged etc but its not the same as being pretty or beautiful and that affects our confidence like it or not.

busterhall · 05/05/2017 15:55

Also imo Emma Thompson and Mariella Frostrup don't look that great.

EleanorRigbysNeice · 05/05/2017 16:27

All of these women are stunning and they all share one beauty statement...they SMILE. WITH THEIR EYES!. Seriously, I look ten times better when I'm smiling.

angelcakerocks · 05/05/2017 17:06

YANBU I completely agree OP, although one or two of the photos put up on here so far I think those people look like they have had a bit of botox tbh (forehead)
But yes, wrinkles are no bar to beauty. Being vain used to be something people did not wish to be seen as, now it's just considered normal.

deadringer · 05/05/2017 17:18

I don't mind having a few lines, its the fucking aches and pains that I hate.

Theweasleytwins · 05/05/2017 17:26

My beautiful Dsis started using anti wrinkle cream at 20😓

PacificDogwod · 05/05/2017 17:34

I am very much with you on this.

IMO the obsession with wrinkles/"the 7 signs of ageing" are a symptom of the fact that currently maturity is not valued whereas somehow youth = status.
I am not quite sure how that happened tbh.

I am 51, I have some wrinkles most of which I've had since my 20s and most of them are from grinning from ear to ear Grin.
I really truly don't mind them at all - I am quite please that I lived long enough to have a 'lived in' face.
Being young and smooth is easy, been older and still smiling, is an achievement IMO.

EleanorRigbysNeice · 05/05/2017 17:39

I do hope there's a turnaround in attitude. The "me me me" selfie generation we have now will find ageing very very hard, if not.