To wish we could stop viewing wrinkles and ageing so negatively

[GreatAuntPrudish]

I've hurt my back so don't anyone disagree with me!

I feel like I'm the only person on MN who
(a) looks their age
(b) has lines and wrinkles

But if you Google obsessively do some research, you'll find plenty of attractive women who have crows feet etc but look happy and engaged with life. Isn't that more important than looking young?

Yes, I know you can look young and be happy and engaged with life but that's not the point of my thread. Bear with me - and my bad back -whilst I post a few photos to prove that I'm right my point.

Meh, I don't believe you lot. I bet all/almost everyone on this thread dyes the grey out of their hair or will do when they see any grey.

I suffered with acne prone skin from around 13 up until my early 30s. I have had fairly clear skin for a few years now. I couldn't care less that I have crows feet when I smile. Not one zit on my face and I feel great. Unlike most of mumsnet I'm 37 and never get asked for ID. .

I know we're not meant to speak about other threads but I really don't believe all those people saying they have no wrinkles. Like Pacific I've had some since my twenties because I have a very mobile face and everyone I know over 30 has too.

I've been dyeing my white out of my hair since my twenties but now I've just turned 40 I've stopped. I don't care if it makes me look older, I am older now! I also find that now that I've past 40 I've been wearing make up much less and dressing in what I like rather than trying to follow fashion (which is for the most part bloody awful at the moment).
It's liberating being free of the pressure to look young. I am still well presented but I care much less about what others think of how I look and I really can't be arsed tying myself in knots trying to look younger. It's not giving up, it's accepting yourself as you are now instead of chasing the unobtainable.

I watched The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and loved how Judy Dench was shown to still be attractive, despite making no attempt to look younger than her years. It was a lovely film.

I'm 32, and I'm over weight, and I've found a couple of white hairs. I never did look all that any way, so I'm not bothered. I try to exercise and eat healthy sometimes, but just for health reasons. I don't smoke, I stay out of the sun, and I must have some genes that mean that I haven't got any wrinkles yet. But I will, and that's ok. As others have said, getting older is a privilege denied to many. I'm grateful to be alive, and healthy. I'm grateful for my healthy, living family. Looks really don't matter to me at all.

I would guess I look my age but maybe older. I have a few wrinkles but more noticeably I let my hair go grey so I'll look older than people decades older than me who have good salon! I've had a young barrista express shock at my natural hair but I'm pleased with my appearance. I hear that others aren't so accepting of their changing bofies so I just don't read/post on those threads.

I didn't care about what I looked like while we were doing fertility treatment and I was hoping that I'd end up looking knackered and wrinkly because I'd end up getting no sleep and never getting the chance to brush my hair or wear makeup because we would hopefully have a baby

Now we've reached the end of the road and have to come to terms with not being able to have children, I really resent looking haggard and wrinkly for my age. I'm only 35 and the skin around my eyes looks like a dried up peach.

Others say I look young but that's something everyone says about others to be polite - it doesn't mean I actually do! My skin is shit - it's got acne and wrinkles and doesn't look fresh and radiant like it did when I was younger. if I do look younger it's because I dress like a scruffy student in jeans and trainers.

I'm not happy in my life so I might as well try and be happy with how I look!

I'm 37 and really confident in myself, I don't desire to look younger I just want to look the best I can with what I have! For me it's also about health- my family has a lot of poor health in older age and so I want to stay healthy as long as I can. This year I've lost 1 stone already and have 2 more to go and I've been exercising. I'm eating as healthily as I can and trying to look after myself mentally and physically. I am healthier now than I ever was in my heavy drinking, partying 20s. I have no desire to look 18 again.

Banana, my skin aged through similar circumstances. The skin around my eyes changed I think as a result if a lot of crying. We don't have children either. I don't know what I'm saying, my heart just went out to you with your post. Our bodies tell our stories.

GreatAnt- I look my age, I don't think I look older, but I certainly don't look younger. My friends also look their biological age, yes we have different hairstyles, different body shapes, we dress differently, but none of us look younger than the other.I recently went on a school reunion and looking at the group photographs we all look the same age. Even the women who used Botox and had fillers, would not be identified as being from a younger year at school. I don't see what's so tragic in looking your age, it's certainly not something to be ashamed of.

Naomi Watts has had a bit of work done, definitely fillers. It's subtle but I notice it.

Agreed on the way our idea of what's normal is so messed up. I know late-20somethings having Botox

I'm 38, take care of my skin but could give a fuck about people think I look old. I take care of myself for me. I'm I'm glowing, great, had a hard day fair dues.. lines are there for a reason and I embrace them. I have friends who Botox but not interested.

Jessica Tandy.

Im I'm thirty four and modelled quite successfully until twenty eight.
Now I have fine lines on my forehead which I choose not to botox, unlike almost every one of my peers who have smooth foreheads and pillow lips.

Do they look younger than me?
Quite possibly.

Do they look better than me?
Probably not. Because you can't buy high cheekbones, large eyes, a small jaw and thick curly hair (well yes you can buy extensions I suppose)

All the women in the OP illustrates that beautiful women have less need to fall prey to injectibles/surgery.
For everybody else post thirty it has become de riguer.

If that levels the playing field somewhat then fair enough.

In your late thirties you aren't really aging yet, though, you're just out of the 'flush of youth'. You see a big difference in your skin as you approach the Peri-menopause. It's the advertisers that have come up with this crap.

I came off the Mrs Gloss page on FB because I was sick of people posting pictures of their 'aging face' and apologising for it, all under 40. Apologiing for still being alive

When there was thread on here about Jerry Hall's Wedding, posters started to pull apart how her arms and feet looked and was saying that she looked awful in her swimming costume, on the yacht.

When she looked like a 59 year old Woman who has enjoyed her time in the sun, but I've found at around 60, even if you've kept out of the sun, you all level out, wrinkle wise. What are we supposed to do,stay indoors?

I've had one group of Women go away for a 50th Birthday, on my FB and a group of all men, for a stag do. The Women look ten times better than the equivalent aged men, but it's the Women that are and have been stressing about what to wear, to cover up 'problem areas' and dieting etc.

YANBU.

But not a natural head of hair amongst those examples!

Ragged, I refer you to my recent pic in the short hair thread. 47 with beautiful silver sparkles in my dark hair.

And yes, that is a patch of pigmentation on my cheek - I'm very fair and used to only freckle in summer, but a few are permanent, now.