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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

12 year old at a sleepover without adults?

37 replies

allegretto · 04/05/2017 20:49

My 12 year old is a scout and next week is meant to be going on a weekend away with some boys in his pack- he is the youngest. The other 3 boys are 14 and 16. They are going to a house in the countryside in the middle of nowhere! I have said he can't go and dh thinks I am being overprotective. Aibu?

OP posts:
Calvinlookingforhobbs · 04/05/2017 20:50

No!

ilovepixie · 04/05/2017 20:50

I wouldn't let him go. He's too young.

gregoriesgirl · 04/05/2017 20:53

No way

AnnoyedByAlfieBear · 04/05/2017 20:54

Nope!

Fruitcorner123 · 04/05/2017 20:54

No he is too young. YANBU

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips · 04/05/2017 20:54

YANBU he's way too young and you'd be neglectful to allow it.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 04/05/2017 20:55

No bloody way! Is this an official Scout thing?

If I was the parent of the 16yo I wouldn't be happy either with my dc being responsible for a 12yo overnight.

wonderingagain21 · 04/05/2017 20:56

There is a huge difference between 12 and 16. YANBU. I wouldn't let my 14 year old go on a sleepover with a 16 year old without adults around to supervise.

SunnySomer · 04/05/2017 20:56

Depends on the individuals. I went on a mini guide camp when I was 11 with a couple of 14 and 15 year olds (who we're doing some kind of leadership badge) - it was totally fine. The older ones tend to have a serious sense of responsibility. Have you met them?

Ohnovembarrassed · 04/05/2017 20:57

So what is he going to do, and is it just the 4 of them?

I am not sure what disasters people think might befall them? Surely it would just be good fun for DD?

BackforGood · 04/05/2017 20:57

I'm confused.
Are you suggesting this is a Scouting Activity?
Who has the Nights away permit ?
What are they doing about the fact that Explorers and Scouts don't share?
Who has said there will be no adults?
What accommodation is it?
This doesn't sound right at all,.

PhyllisNights · 04/05/2017 20:57

Absolutely not!! That is just an invitation for all sorts of trouble to occur!! That's not being overprotective, that's a being a god damn decent mother! He'll respect that when he gets older!

Ohnovembarrassed · 04/05/2017 20:57

*DS

DownInThePark · 04/05/2017 20:58

No I wouldn't allow it. Sounds odd the Scouts arranging something without adult supervision.

SongforSal · 04/05/2017 20:59

Nope. My Dc is 12, and not old enough for a boys weekend away. I could only imagine the carnage.

Original poster
allegretto · 04/05/2017 21:00

This is a scouting activity but a sort of "bonding" weekend for their six (?) Not sure on the terminology as we are abroad.

OP posts:
CremeBrulee · 04/05/2017 21:01

It's a no from me too. Not without adult supervision.

BackforGood · 04/05/2017 21:10

Oh, well can't speak for rules and regs in different countries.
Sorry, I assumed you were in UK, where that would be breaking all kinds of rules, the way you describe it.

notanevilstepmother · 04/05/2017 23:15

It would have been a normal activity in the uk 30 or 40 years ago. Not now though.

Flyinggeese · 04/05/2017 23:17

No way on earth!

elephantscansing · 04/05/2017 23:19

No way.

ineedaholidaynow · 04/05/2017 23:22

No!

DS(12) is a scout and to earn a particular badge the Scouts have to plan an expedition by themselves and get themselves to a campsite without an adult. However, once at the campsite there has to be a leader.

grumpysquash3 · 04/05/2017 23:29

Someone has to have a Nights Away permit, and they have to be an adult. This is an absolute rule for Scouting (in the UK, probably elsewhere as well).
Having said that, if you do Duke of Edinburgh Bronze (age 13/14) there is a two day hike with overnight stay without a leader present, but the overnight stay is camping in the grounds of a youth hostel or similar, so there are adults nearby.

lizzyj4 · 04/05/2017 23:33

That would be a big fat no. Terrible idea.

TreeTop7 · 05/05/2017 00:18

I'd be uncomfortable with this and I'm quite relaxed normally. Maybe I'd allow it if the 16y old were very straight-laced...maybe....

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