To think that my DP is just being bloody weird?

[bloodyhellbill]

So we were taking the dogs for a walk and he walks off ahead of me, ok I think he'll stop and wait in a minute...nope, just carries on walking on ahead completely ignoring my existence. We got through a few fields and then I shouted to him 'you're just being rude' or something like that and then he just said I was too slow and carried on and walked ahead of me/ignored me for the whole walk until we got home. I then called him a weirdo and his response was 'how am I weird?' I'm sorry but that isn't normal is it!? If you go for a walk together surely you fucking just walk pretty much together, I mean not joined at the hip but within talking distance! This isn't the first time either. AIBU to just find this behaviour a bit weird?

It is rude to make a slower person walk at a breakneck pace. I am slower than DH. I sometimes have to remind him to walk at a pace I can sustain comfortably. He always does.

My DH is a foot taller than me and never does this, he likes to hold my hand.

My ex was a bugger for setting off with his super long strides into the distance. He always commented on how often I tripped/twisted my ankle. Err yeah because I'm scampering to keep up! Realised I never tripped when I was on my own. I won't do it now with new one. But when I've got my walking boots on this one whines it's a route march!

You do know its actually quite uncomfortable for someone who has a fast long stride to walk slow?

Oh, please...

Are you sure he actually likes you, OP? Doesn't sound like it.

But why would anyone go "for a walk" with someone if they cannot be arsed to adjust their pace to the other person? And I mean adjust down as it is a lot easier to walk slower than it is to walk faster.

It's not just his walking 'pace' though, is it?

DH does the opposite, he walks at a ridiculously slow pace so a quick walk after dinner that normally takes me 20 minutes, took us over an hour
He was being really weird and to stay at the same pace as him I literally had to shuffle 1/16 of a step next to him. It was so weirdly passive aggressive it kind of freaked me out.
YANBU

I'm quite small and have often had this happen when I've been out in walks with significantly taller people, but they've always stopped and waited once they've realised I've fallen behind.

If he's genuinely not realised then fair enough, but if he's doing it because he can't be arsed waiting around for you then that's very rude.

Scarlett is spot on; the question is whether he behaves like this with everyone or just you.

But even in the unlikely event that he treats everyone like this, you can choose to recognise that you deserve better and walk (yourself, away from this relationship).

My separated husband did this one Christmas Day. After knit-picking an argument with DD. Threads like this remind me why I left.

You do know its actually quite uncomfortable for someone who has a fast long stride to walk slow?

What utter utter bollocks. I do loads of hillwalking and occasionally walk with people who are less experienced and fit than me. So I adjust my pace. It is really simple to do and not in any way uncomfortable. It is friendly, considerate and decent behaviour that bothers me not one jot. If I want to walk quick, I walk solo. If I want to walk in company I adjust my pace. This is not hard to do.

He isn't tall and doesn't have big strides, he's actually short and his legs are pretty much the same length as mine. I'm definitely not a slow walker, I walk 10+ miles a day for work then walk some more with the dogs and spend most of the weekend walking with the dogs so it's not just like this was rare occasion and I'm not used to walking or something. On most walks we are together. When it was happening I was thinking that if he was walking with someone else he would definitely not do this! And the car journeys when he doesn't speak - when we've been in the car with his friends he's the life and soul of the party, chatting away having a laugh. I'm starting to think maybe some of you are right and that he just doesn't like me...but then why has he stuck around for 7 years!?

My DH does this because, apparently, I don't walk fast enough. I spent our walking holiday looking at his back. Makes me so angry.

Turn the question around - why are you sticking around with him?

Maybe he craves time alone but doesn't know how to ask for what he needs?

I think it could be he genuinely doesn't realise his pace. I asked my partner does he walk ahead when walking with friends. He replied "that's completely different, they walk a similar pace to me!" So made out like I was the oddball who walks too slow even though my pace is generally quick. I'm just not as tall as he is.

Tip OP, just leave him to it. If he isn't going to take time to walk with you and make conversation etc just don't react. He'll soon realise you aren't that bothered

Guessing the naysayers would suggest mild boredom that day, just lost in his own world? Chit chat too much after a long day at work? Otoh clamming up for hours in the car to the point he reduced OP to tears was surely deliberate.
I do think it's off when partners act one way with outsiders, sparkling company etc, and switch off at home.

You do know its actually quite uncomfortable for someone who has a fast long stride to walk slow? He is probably thinking why are you deliberately malingering? If you have different paces just dont go out for 'walks' together.
This ^^ Why should the faster walker have to slow down constantly?
And some people are actually happier with quiet. I like to be left alone with my thoughts, especially on a car journey. Constantly being asked "what's wrong?" is the quickest way to make something wrong

Im a dawdler so I can understand if we 're going somewhere that dh walks ahead, but if the point of the walk is enjoyment, then let's enjoy it together!

Id be tempted to shout "come back here and hold my hand! Love meeeeeee!" Haha

Also the rule for hiking/group running/cycling I always stuck by is "you go as fast as the slowing person" because that's team work and if you face ahead and take a break, by the time the slowest person catches up they haven't got time for a break because you're off again

I think that's really rude & I bet he wouldn't do it to anyone else. My DH sometimes ends up walking quicker than me & I just ask him to slow down a bit so we can chat.

People treat the other members of their family like shit sometimes, just because they can. My mother used to, a lot. Makes you feel all loved and special, doesn't it?

Next time he does this, go off on a different route or something. Take ownership of the situation.

I walk slowly due to a medical condition. DH walks at my speed. He has plenty of other opportunities to walk fast, I don't think I'm depriving him.

A good measure I think is to ask yourself what would I do with a friend. Would you stride ahead and not speak to them? Of course not, that would be rude and they probably wouldn't go for a walk with you again.