To think that my DP is just being bloody weird?

[bloodyhellbill]

So we were taking the dogs for a walk and he walks off ahead of me, ok I think he'll stop and wait in a minute...nope, just carries on walking on ahead completely ignoring my existence. We got through a few fields and then I shouted to him 'you're just being rude' or something like that and then he just said I was too slow and carried on and walked ahead of me/ignored me for the whole walk until we got home. I then called him a weirdo and his response was 'how am I weird?' I'm sorry but that isn't normal is it!? If you go for a walk together surely you fucking just walk pretty much together, I mean not joined at the hip but within talking distance! This isn't the first time either. AIBU to just find this behaviour a bit weird?

I'm going to 3rd AF: why are you with this pillock?

My friends brother does this but he's a humungous twat in general.

The whole point of going for a walk together is the together part! Otherwise why even bother?

Wow what cuntish behaviour from this man. I would bin him. He has zero respect for you OP. My DH has never done this to me in over 20 years together.

I hate walking with slow walkers and there's no way I'll dawdle with them. They can move with me or walk alone. Why didn't you move faster? You may think he was rude but he was no more rude than you were for expecting him to do a snails pace.

As for silence in the car... Why does something have to be wrong? Maybe he just wants a bit of quiet to enjoy his own thoughts. There's no need to be talking all the time especially if there's nothing interesting to say in that moment.

DH and DD have long strides and sometimes out walk me but realise and loop back and mimic my small steps.
(AnyFucker not seen you for ages! Glad you are still here. )

Oh no, I used to do this with my dc a bit when we were running late for school, more trying to 'set the pace', not trying to be horrible. But if we were just leisurely on our way somewhere, I wouldn't walk ahead of them or dh. My dh has done it to me in the past, usually when rushing somewhere, it's tempting to disappear around a corner somewhere and purposely lose him! Is he a bit socially awkward? My friends son is and he seems to walk ahead as a sort of habit, unaware of how others might be bothered by it.

Next time he does it, turn around and see how long it takes him to realise you are missing.

"' tbh this isn't the only thing like this he does. Sometimes he ignores me and won't speak to me for no reason, we've been on two hour car journeys where he just doesn't speak at all and I keep asking what's wrong and all he says is 'nothing' and there's such a horrible atmosphere sometimes it's actually brought me to tears because it's just like he hates me!"
Reading your OP, I was thinking 'bet this isn't an isolated incident' - and lo, it wasn't .

In my opinion he is not 'a weirdo' - he is abusive, and he is behaving this way fully intending you make you cry - he's softening you up, all the better to control you. Because I'll bet, afterwards, when he starts speaking to you again and pretending that nothing happened, you're so bloody grateful that you dance to his tune.

He won't get any better. It's time to plan your escape.

DH used to do this when the DC were slow so one day when we were out we wandered off without him noticing and left him to find us. He got the message.

Do sometimes walks ahead of me without thinking, and I hate it. But when I point it out and ask him to wait for me he apologises and does.

Your dp doesn't sound very pleasant tbh. Most partners don't continue to do things that are upsetting their partner. The silent car journeys thing is horrible.

My Dh does this 🙄

We'll go for a nice walk anywhere, could be the woods, or shopping.

He walks off miles ahead of me.

He looks a twat doing it.

My dps were in town a few years back, Dh ahead of me, they greeted him, obviously with me behind,

I won't say what my db said though... I'm a lady...

I hate walking with slow walkers and there's no way I'll dawdle with them. They can move with me or walk alone. Why didn't you move faster?

Because we're not doing a high fucking intensity workout. Some people like a causal walk with the dog.

I walk to the train station with DP sometimes in the morning (he's a fast walker) and I end up in a hideous sweat before my day has even started.

Get rid.

ASAP

I had a friend used to do that, I hated it. The whole walk is spent trying to catch up with them.

My MIL does this when we go on family outings, it really gets my goat. I just let her go ahead now and she has to wait for us at the end of the walk. The thing is, is she misses out on all the chit chat on the way, which I think is part and parcel of the walk itself. I just don't get it.

No, I don't think it is weird - that's not, to my mind, the right word. But I do think it's inappropriate. As others have said, if you go out for a walk together,then you walk together!

It's one of the things my H used to do a lot when we took the dogs out. He'd be miles ahead or behind, talking to other dog owners and not watching out for our dogs at all. It used to make me really cross as I might just as well have come out by myself.

We are in the process of splitting up, and he actually complained that I never seemed to want to go out with him and the dogs any more. I pointed out why, and he just couldn't respond!

Do try and talk to you DP about how it makes you feel when he does this.

Ha, that's me told, Navyandwhite

But that's the picture I'm getting. That this guy is a tosser. The hours of silence in the car, reducing OP to tears...and the way she described her experience of her partner walking ahead was very different to the accounts from other posters.

My ex used to walk ahead of me everywhere. Said I was too slow.

I was about a foot shorter than him and felt like I was constantly running everywhere.

It never changed. It was a sad feeling to be hurried everywhere and never have anyone walk 'with' me.

He used to get quite cross with me if I had to take a breather or stop for any reason too. No idea why he was always in such a rush.
We would usually just be walking the dog and never made plans for after.

No dogs but we walk often. DH just saunters along sooo slowly it bugs me and before I know it I'm way ahead of him and have to wait. -( which bugs me even more) I am over a foot shorter than him and according to this thread apparently weird :)

My partner does this all the fucking time. Before we go out for a walk I have to literally tell him I'd appreciate it if he walked by my side. I wouldn't mind but we have two small children and he complains I walk to slow when walking with the oldest one. He has the younger one in the pram.

It makes me feel so unloved. We never get chance to talk and I feel like he doesn't care. It's twat-like behaviour but he is emotionally stunted in lots of ways so I can't really expect too much of him

You do know its actually quite uncomfortable for someone who has a fast long stride to walk slow? He is probably thinking why are you deliberately malingering? If you have different paces just dont go out for 'walks' together.

I'm fairly quick paced Jamie and I don't find it a great hardship to slow down and walk alongside say, my 4yo or my severely arthritic mother nor anyone else who happens to have a slower pace than me. I think it's rude that people feel the need to rush off for no apparent reason but that's just me

Yes ThisAintALoveSong, I do understand the point. What I was trying to say for for an activity that one is supposed to do for pleasure, walking slow isn't for everyone. I wasn't implying it was impossible to do.