To be annoyed with in-laws

[BristolianChick]

I want to be called mummy by my DS, I've always called myself this to him and so has my DH and my family (unfortunately we don't get to see my family much as they live so far away)

My in laws call me mam to my DS and my DH has corrected them loads of times but they still do it. (We see them at least once a week so pretty regularly)

They got to chose what they're called (Nanan / Grandma / Granny etc) so why should they decide what me THE MOTHER gets to be called too?

DS is turned 3 last week and now calls me mam. I hate it and I am very cross about it.

I've said to DH that if they persist with this then I'm gonna start calling them grandma and grandad (they wanted to be Nanan and pops ) to which DH says IABU and he will continue to correct them which clearly hasn't worked so far. AIBU?

I'd see them less and call yourself mummy to him every day. Don't respond to mam.

The next time you go there correct them once, if they use it again, leave immediately. Don't return the following week. Let them think about it. Repeat, next time leaving it two weeks and so on.

Or let dh take them. . Be sure he tells them you are at home as they are rude and ignorant. .

Don't get your husband to take him without you, you'll be forever mam if you do that! Don't let them win.

OMG! Seriously?

Surely you all call everyone 'luvver' anyway?

I'd make a point of calling them names other than Nananan and Pops but I'm not always the most mature when someone else is being unreasonable.

Have you asked them to use the name you want? Surely as an adult you don't need your husband to talk to them. You might have more luck if you tell them directly how it's annoying you.

Get your son to call them by their first names. That will soon change their behaviour

I have mentioned it a couple of times myself but I've not done the whole 'sitting them down and telling them not to' kind of thing iyswim.

Problem is, I don't think they're being malicious, they're just really thoughtless people. If I thought they were purposely being pricks then I'd have lost it with them long ago.

My DS is now at that stage where he thinks it's hilarious to say something different to me so when I say something like 'mummy said to put your wellies on, then he will laugh and say no, mam! 😒

My son used to correct people if they called me mam or mammy instead of mummy. I wonder if your in-laws call you by a name more often than you do yourself?

So they (deliberately imo) call you mam all the time when with your ds, but you maybe just talk directly to him without referencing yourself much eg 'put your welly-boots on please', not 'mummy wants you to put on your wellies'.

It seems that must be partly the case as obviously your son lives with you, however regularly he sees them, so your choice should be the norm whatever they do, if he hears it used often enough at home.

Is it a regional thing?

I wanted to be mam...it's the more used term here, my mother is 'mam', teachers in school refer to 'mam' etc.

I started off as Mam but dh is from the SE and he really struggled with it...tried his best but it would come out 'mum' sometimes automatically. Hence I've morphed into mum over the years as the dc picked up and copied.

Yeah definitely a regional thing - in laws are from Yorkshire but moved down south when DH was a teenager.

I guess they probably use mam more than I say mummy, I don't tend to refer to myself when I'm talking to him at home but in laws are always, 'mam said this' or 'ask mam' etc.

FWIW my family seemed to think being mummy was stuck up and pretentious, got looks at first when I used it, as if I was wrrrrong. This could explain your in-laws determination BristolianChick

Oh YANBU. I would hate to be mam; it's a bit common!

And I am cringing hard at "nanan" and "pops".

How often do these people see your child that it influences what he calls you? Surely your child is with you and his father the most and therefore I really struggle to see how they've managed to change what your ds calls you.

What is your obsession with being called Mummy? Why so important?

Be annoyed if you like but I can't see what the fuss is about

My MIL does this to me! I'm mummy or mum and she calls me Mama which I hate! I've always hated it! Reminds me of the horror film too!

It's a shame they have influenced him but he will go back to calling you mummy. When my ds was around 3 he went through a stage of calling me by my name. I just let him get on with it and he soon went back to calling me mummy. I think he knew it was a. It cheeky and he liked the whole thing of me going ' no I'm mummy' or whatever.

I'm astounded that pps are suggesting seeing less of them over this. Tell them to stop and don't reply to your son when he calls you mam, he'll soon learn what your name is.

@Pinkheart5917 Isn't it a mothers right to chose what her child calls her, the same as it's the parents right to chose a name for their child. 

@AprilLudgateDwyer I'm really hoping it's just a cheeky phase he's going through and he will change once he gets bored of it.

You are being ridiculous! This is all to do with Dialect and nothing to do with them being thoughtless!!!

You are turning it into a big issue.

I had to tell MIL every time she did something similar. She used to call me Mummy as though I was HER frigging Mummy.

"Here you go Mummy'

As though every time she adressed me, it was somehow for the benefit of DD.

I felt really dehumanised by it.

I just said each time she did it "I'm Annie to you MIL! Annie. Not Mummy"

Ha count yourself lucky, my son calls me by my first name (he is two) because he heard his friend do it and thought it was funny. Hearing my name shouted when he wants something is not funny, i feel like a maid haha!!
He shouts 'Sarah, Milk!!' 'Sarah, toy car!'

My dh calls me mummy when he's talking just to me and the kids are around. So annoying. I always say ' oh is mil here? I didn't hear the door!'