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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to send school this letter

41 replies

TitaniumSodiumBorate · 02/05/2017 19:54

Dear teacher
I was disappointed today when ds1 (10yo) came home from lunch today with a smashed lunch box.
During lunch time he went to sit on a bench to eat he's lunch and was told by pupil 1 & 2 that he was not allowed to sit there. Pupil 3 then punched his lunch box smashing the lid. Ds did tell the lunchtime supervisor but I wanted to make you aware of the incident.
This is not the first time I have had to replace ds's belongings, previously his water bottle was used as a football.
Please could you speak to these pupils about destroying other people's property and the financial and environmental implications this has.
Titanium

OP posts:

Trifleorbust · 02/05/2017 19:55

I think your focus is out here. It sounds like these other kids are bullies. I would go in and speak to the teacher about this.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 02/05/2017 19:56

I would just have a word rather than write a letter to be honest.

LindyHemming · 02/05/2017 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RubyJack · 02/05/2017 19:56

I would change he's to his.
Otherwise as a HT /teacher I would be happy to have a word.

Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2017 19:56

I would send an email to the Headteacher.

LittleIda · 02/05/2017 19:56

No that's fine. Just change "he's" to "his" and it'll be perfect.

Quickieat2 · 02/05/2017 19:57

Just tell the school that x child smashed your sons lunch box and he needs to replace it. Then mention the water bottle.

BrinjalPickle · 02/05/2017 19:57

You are being unreasonable to send a letter, I think you need to go in to speak with the school. Sounds like your son is being bullied and it needs nipping in the bud.

Patriciathestripper1 · 02/05/2017 19:58

I'd be penning another to kid3's parents asking for a new lunch box too.

user1471467667 · 02/05/2017 19:59

I agree that the issue here is really not the cost of replacing a lunch box but that your child may be being bullied

Original poster

TitaniumSodiumBorate · 02/05/2017 19:59

Ds is taxied to school by the lea as it is the nearest catholic school. The majority of the school is bussed I so we don't actually get contact before or after school with the teachers

OP posts:

pennypickle · 02/05/2017 20:01

You need to go into school and speak to a member of staff. Not acceptable!

Original poster

TitaniumSodiumBorate · 02/05/2017 20:12

Ds is definitely not being bullied, kids do get off days with each other. I am just really annoyed with the lack of respect people have.. break it chuck it mentality.
I don't want the letter to come across as if I am complaining about ds being bullied so if that is the initial reaction it provokes then I have got it wrong.
We literally see teachers on parents evenings and even if I did try to be there for a pick up / drop off the teacher would be busy doing the bus runs and wouldn't be able to see us (tried that previously!)

OP posts:

Trifleorbust · 02/05/2017 20:24

I think breaking someone's lunchbox because they wanted to sit down is bullying. I would be asking for an appointment myself.

Shedmicehugh · 02/05/2017 20:31

Better to put it writing, so it's recorded.

Bluetrews25 · 02/05/2017 20:32

Get a lunch bag not a lunch box, won't get smashed again and they store in a smaller space as they squish.

Shedmicehugh · 02/05/2017 20:33

Punching his lunchbox, using his water bottle as a football, sounds like bullying.

CMamaof4 · 02/05/2017 20:36

Send the letter and go in about it, I have been told if you send a letter in the have to keep it on file and when ofsted come round they have to explain how they dealt with the situation, Emails aren't saved, Good luck

soapboxqueen · 02/05/2017 20:38

I'm with the OP, a few one off incidents isn't bullying.

OP I would probably direct your letter to the Head or deputy since the class teacher won't be supervising at lunch time. The head needs to direct the lunchtime staff to deal with this. Obviously the individual children can be spoken to by the class teacher.

VintagePerfumista · 02/05/2017 20:40

I don't get it.

You seem very sure your child is not being bullied.

I am frequently on this threads saying "er, that's not bullying"

What happened to your son could well be.

It was horrible.

Either ring them up, or make an effort to make an appointment.

RubyJack · 02/05/2017 20:42

CMamaof4
Copies of emails and responses are kept on file as evidence of how the school dealt with a complaint....or they should be

AtomHeart · 02/05/2017 20:51

It is to the point and not emotive. Send it and ask for a phone call in response.

Empireoftheclouds · 02/05/2017 20:53

Pick up the phone and talk. Don't send a letter asking the school to speak to pupils. You tell them what happened and they decide what course of action to take.

Giddyaunt18 · 02/05/2017 20:55

It's fine apart from the he's instead of his but I'm sure you've realised that.

iseenodust · 02/05/2017 20:56

I would send the letter as you have explained that you cannot just have a quick word at the end of the day. Ten is plenty old enough to know you don't punch someone's lunchbox and I agree it could be the tip of bullying.

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