Aibu to send school this letter

[TitaniumSodiumBorate]

Dear teacher
I was disappointed today when ds1 (10yo) came home from lunch today with a smashed lunch box.
During lunch time he went to sit on a bench to eat he's lunch and was told by pupil 1 & 2 that he was not allowed to sit there. Pupil 3 then punched his lunch box smashing the lid. Ds did tell the lunchtime supervisor but I wanted to make you aware of the incident.
This is not the first time I have had to replace ds's belongings, previously his water bottle was used as a football.
Please could you speak to these pupils about destroying other people's property and the financial and environmental implications this has.
Titanium

Might not be bullying. More likely that the child that did this, does similar to others so maybe not targeting OP's child in particular. There are children like this at the school I work as a TA in. They seem to delight in destroying other childrens' property. We get the parents of said child to replace the item.

I always put things in writing. I learnt the hard way that evidence might be needed if things escalate.

YANBU

Bullying is sustained and repeated over time, a one off incident isn't. Keep talking and listening to your child. Find out more.
I would also find out more about your child's part in this. Often incidents are caused by more than just the child who ends up at fault. Did your child do anything? does your child wind others up? If so has the other child smashed the box in frustration at your child's actions. Not suggesting this is so but worth asking the question to build a bigger picture.

I'd phone or see the class teacher in person. Do they not accept meetings with parents before or after school at all?

Yep send the letter!

Always try and talk rather than write as a first approach. Much easier, clearer. Letters so easily get misunderstood.

I think the tone of the message is too mild. It come across as "please ask Jonny to be a bit quieter..."

I'd go more for along the lines of "Ds came home today upset because his lunchbox had been smashed. Please could you call me on so I can speak to you about it."

Please could you speak to these pupils about destroying other people's property and the financial and environmental implications this has. tbh I can't see the kids really caring about that whether it was a one off or sustained bullying.
It sounds like you're fishing for a reason why they shouldn't do it rather than this is totally unacceptable, which I think we all agree it is.

Agree it's bullying/oppressive behaviour of the type that needs to be nipped in the bud. OP definitely go and have a conversation or at least ask for them to call you.

Put it in writing so it's recorded. Offer up your email or phone details in case they want to update you.

They smashed his lunch box. I'd call that bullying. Please do not make excuses for these horrors, by calling an off day.

It's not bullying if it's a one off. It's a nasty thing to do and needs to be punished but it's not bullying if it's a one off.

www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/definition/

Could you call school and ask to speak to the teacher? So much can be gathered from your tone of voice opposed to a letter. You can also ask if they think everything is ok and that it is just kids getting carried away rather than anything more serious.

You can always follow up your telephone conversation with an email so that it is in writing and you've got a summary of what was agreed in the telephone conversation.

I sent the letter in yesterday, ds told me the teacher spoke to him and pupil 3 at lunch yesterday but I have received no follow up from the teacher at all (2 home times later). Aibu to expect a reply?

Giddyaunt thankyou for the link. I don't think ds is being bullied, at worst maybe social exclusion but I think he chooses that for himself... he is not interested in joining in and playing football etc, would much rather do his own thing and read. He does have a healthy social life and good friendship group out of school and is generally a happy child.

Titanium if you only sent the letter in yesterday, I would think a response might come by the end of today. If not I would mention it at home time if you're picking up. I'm a TA and if a parent emails/phones/sends a letter it is generally responded to within 24 hours.