Weird sizing up by random woman in queue.

[MargaretWindsor]

I went to my local shop earlier this morning for some essentials in a hurry.

After a bit of queuing I sensed the presence of someone behind me, glanced slightly to my left and behind and there was a woman quite blatantly staring at my shoes, fair enough I sometimes check out what people are wearing. I glanced back after a while as the queue was hardly moving and her eyes were slowly moving up my body, they'd got to the ankles then, we were standing very close to each other so she must have sensed/seen me looking back. I should say I was wearing a long dress, trench coat and flattish sandals, nothing scandalous, not that it should matter. So I started to look back in a vain attempt to shame her into stopping, I find prolonged staring so rude! As well as a bit strange. And this was right in my face.

She then very slowly made it up to my eye-level with a scowl and cat's-bum mouth, and continued to stare me out, Wtf? I was nearing the front of the queue then, and made a point of looking away in disgust, while she carried on.

Just don't understand the motivation for this seeming hostility by a woman of my mother's age say late fifties/ early 60s to a complete stranger who just happens to be ahead of her in the queue.

I should say I've got full on pmt right now which makes me more irritated and probably more sensitive than usual. I can mostly brush these things off but this has lingered, AIB-premenstrually-U?

P.s; I nearly said "Why not take a photo, it will last longer." - but that a bit cheesy even for me.

YANBU. How old are you? Are you attractive? It's normal to notice someone's looks/clothes but rude to stare and not look away when the person notices.

How odd!!

I'd be tempted to say something, not sure what though 'Do I know you?' Or 'can I help you?' maybe.

Maybe she liked / hated your outfit? Maybe she fancied you & that was her attempt at a sexy pout?! Maybe she was looking without really seeing? Maybe she was seriously bored waiting and looking as something to do?
You should have winked at her or blown her a kiss...

Thanks Chloe, I'm not particularly young: 40! And would say averagely attractive? Also was in a massive flapping hurry to get dcs to school on time, so threw together my outfit. Maybe that's what she found objectionable 😂.

Did you have a big trolley load of stuff and she only had one item? Maybe she was trying to intimidate you into letting her go in front? Very odd behaviour though!

Ah yes, thought of some clever replies afterwards, as you do, but too late. But I can say for sure there was much more palpable hostility than anything else, really strange...

There sure is some oddities about. If I feel someone doing this, I turn away, don't make anymore eye contact with them and pretend they aren't there. I don't want to give them the satisfaction that I've even noticed them.

I think our baskets were similarly full.

Yes I should probably have not dignified it with the stare back but prolonged staring from a stranger really riles me!

I'd say she was judging you. What did you have in your basket?

Nothing scandalous in the basket I don't think, do cheese-strings count? Just essentials, bread milk, fruit....

It was definitely me getting sized up.

Oh dear, I thought the epidemic of MN'ers being looked at was over, seems not.

Here's the thing, OP: people can point their eyes anywhere they like, and have thoughts at the same time! Get over it.

Did you put your belt divider long ways instead of across the belt and she was horrified she'd found a MN IRL?!

I've had this before too, generally when I'm on a train of all places. Pretty sure I've been dressed normally too, nothing too short/tight/offensive/poorly fitting.

It's weird isn't it? Almost like they object to your existence for no fathomable reason. Who knows.

She was possibly my neighbour, who had her shoes stolen from her porch the other day

Why do people do this? Bugs the bejesus out of me, totally rude and unnecessary. I would have opted to stare back too, and matched the sneery, bitch face. It's even worse when the person queuing behind is so close, violating your personal space, that you can't move. I've taken to deliberately treading on their feet - served them right

If she was staring very unusually she may have had autism.

it's not only kids who are on the spectrum.

Are you sure she wasn't in deep thought about something wholly unrelated to you? She was staring at your shoes and her eyes moved around a bit. That's nothing objectionable, surely? Perhaps it made you feel uncomfortable but that's only because you assumed she was judging you. Seeing as the only person, who knows what's going on in her head is her, you can't possibly know. Perhaps she felt as though you attacked her.

I react (and have reacted) in one of two ways to this. Gentleman sizing me up on the train in a similar non relenting fashion. I held his glaze for as long as was humanly possible, lent in slowly... and went BOOOOOO in his face.

The second time was also on the train, I just started laughing when faced with a cats bum person. I find that if you act crazy, people think you are quite scary and leave you alone. I often laugh maniacally at road ragers. They just think nah, she's nuts.

She then very slowly made it up to my eye-level with a scowl and cat's-bum mouth, and continued to stare me out, Wtf?

By your own telling, at this point YOU were prolonged staring right at her, when all she was doing was looking down (you arrogant assuming she was staring at you , when she might jsut have been randomly staring into the air, thinking of whatever). So you caused the issue, quite possibly.

My DD was staring at someone excessively yesterday.

Good to know people just instantly assume rudeness.

It is rude to stare, that's why.

I wouldnt assume a child staring was rude as they just don't know that it makes some people feel uncomfortable.

when she might jsut have been randomly staring into the air, thinking of whatever

I've done this - but when I've realised that I've been "in a stare" I've apologised profusely. I think you coped well with it Margaret - especially on a PMT week (I've been known to savage rottweilers for less).

I also occasionally get attracted by someones clothes, but then I will tend to say - "Ooh - I do like your leggings, shoes, glasses" or whatever.

I would not include children in this at all, not comparable. User 149302...I think most people would find prolonged staring rude, especially when they are standing within your personal space. It feels very much to me like hostility if not aggression.