Weird sizing up by random woman in queue.

[MargaretWindsor]

I went to my local shop earlier this morning for some essentials in a hurry.

After a bit of queuing I sensed the presence of someone behind me, glanced slightly to my left and behind and there was a woman quite blatantly staring at my shoes, fair enough I sometimes check out what people are wearing. I glanced back after a while as the queue was hardly moving and her eyes were slowly moving up my body, they'd got to the ankles then, we were standing very close to each other so she must have sensed/seen me looking back. I should say I was wearing a long dress, trench coat and flattish sandals, nothing scandalous, not that it should matter. So I started to look back in a vain attempt to shame her into stopping, I find prolonged staring so rude! As well as a bit strange. And this was right in my face.

She then very slowly made it up to my eye-level with a scowl and cat's-bum mouth, and continued to stare me out, Wtf? I was nearing the front of the queue then, and made a point of looking away in disgust, while she carried on.

Just don't understand the motivation for this seeming hostility by a woman of my mother's age say late fifties/ early 60s to a complete stranger who just happens to be ahead of her in the queue.

I should say I've got full on pmt right now which makes me more irritated and probably more sensitive than usual. I can mostly brush these things off but this has lingered, AIB-premenstrually-U?

P.s; I nearly said "Why not take a photo, it will last longer." - but that a bit cheesy even for me.

@ WorraLiberty.

To be fair that could have been me.
Liked your shoes and zoned out trying to work out where they are from, can I afford them, will they go with blah, blah blah. What are you wearing them with... Eyes travel up. Probably glaring at this point because I'm thinking hard.
Usually I catch the glare back and blurt out an explanation of my thought process.
People either rapidly make their escape or we have a fruitful shoe chat.

Did you have really complicated looking sandals on? coz I found myself staring at someone's sandals earlier because I couldn't work out how the hell she put them on, or rather how they were staying on, i suspect witchcraft. I did look suitably embarrassed when I realised I'd been staring though.

Aha I do sometimes blow kisses at road-ragers :)

User 14930 her eyes were deliberately moving up me, even after clocking my returning glance. That. is. Very. Strange. Imo.

But I am interested in others' opinions, hence posting in AIBU!

Ah no not complicated I don't think, really low almost flats, in silver though. Interesting to hear of people zoning out while staring , maybe that could be it. I don't think I do that.

You are massively overthinking and being over sensitive to boot. She was rude to stare but she was probably just lost in her thoughts and unaware she was doing it. I'd have either smiled (which works both in a friendly way and a passive aggressive way )or looked away 🤷🏻‍♀️

forget Syria, forget Tump, forget Brexit, forget the election.

woman stares at woman in supermarket queue.

perhaps she thought your feet were cold,
you should have stared back at Her shoes

but I love the idea of a wink

She might well have been doing it absent mindedly whilst thinking about something else.

Even the appearance of 'sizing you up' doesn't mean she was actually processing what she was seeing.

I think it's really very rude

I'd probably say something but then again, where I live is quite rough, so these days I'm less likely to because I can't bear it if stuff like this kicks off.

IME a 'sorry, I don't fancy you' usually suffices

It is rude to stare. I recall that being one of the many things I was taught growing up.

"Don't eat with your mouth open"
"Get your elbows off the table"
"Don't lean back on your chair!"
"It's rude to stare!"

Pretty standard stuff really. Doesn't everyone get taught that stuff? I would have asked the lady if I could help her.

It is possible as others say though that she was zoning out staring. I've done that before (albeit not at people directly in front of my face)

good grief!

You might not include kids but my DD will still stare as an adult.

Not sure why people wouldnt consider that someone staring might not be NT.

It might be rude to stare, that's what were taught but if I couldn't be sure it was intentional, I'd think oh that's a bit strange, do the polite smile to let them know I'd noticed and get on with the rest of my day without even thinking about it twice.

You could have described my mum MargaretWindsor fits in the age bracket too she does this but she's not even looking at anyone but perhaps in that general direction she's been fixated in, she's in her own mind. Sometimes less obvious when she moves her head like she's aware of her surroundings when actually she's totally absorbed in her own thoughts like she's in her own world, She can appear angry or scowling but it depends on what she's thinking about. She can be a bit oblivious until the person says next please or something triggers! So she perhaps wouldn't say sorry because she wouldn't have noticed what she was supposed to have done wrong.

She suffers from derealization basically allows your brain to trance out of reality it can be a side effect of anxiety and panic disorders a natural coping mechanism and its quite common just one of the many side effects to mental illnesses she's had since in her 30s

I have been the starer in the queue before now.
I was taken with the boots on the lady in front of me and was staring to see if I could see the make of them. I should also mention that I am quite shy, especially with strangers, so it takes a huge effort to begin a conversation with someone I don't know.
When I was staring at her boots, she did give me a bit of a look and I felt so embarrassed to have been caught staring that I blurted out something about her boots and where did she get them, were they as comfortable as they looked.
Once she realised I was having boot envy and not giving her the evil eye she was really friendly and forgave me for staring :)

If you're wondering why anyone cares what others are wearing, as long as it's clean and covering, then go onto the thread about matching outfits (btw, i don't get why it would even register).

However i have very poor eyesight and often don't realise that i come across as staring at someone.

She might not have had a 'cats bum mouth' if you hadn't have been staring back, or it might be her natural expression, which can happen to any of us, post 50.

there's a thread about matching outfits?!

I am NT- and one of my worse symptoms is staring. I have too much eye contact instead of too little. Often I am just thinking about someone's shoes or outfit, or even just zoning out- but it has got me into a lot of trouble

I once had a woman start shouting at me in public for staring at her in a "what the fuck you looking at bitch?" way. I hadn't even noticed her, she was somewhere in the line of the middle distance I was absentmindedly gazing into.
Fucking loon. Thing is, just because you think someone is staring doesn';t mean they are.

Are you sure she was sizing you up and not watching a beastie crawl up your body or something?

I loved your description, you could put twilight zone music with it

You didn't have your dress tucked into your knickers, did you?

I would have thought it was perfectly possible to tell if a person is staring at you when they're so close they could be wearing your clothes. So why not assume the OP does know what she saw, just for novelty's sake...

Even if she knows for sure the woman was staring at her, she still doesn't know why. She is assuming, based on bugger all.

Someone once barged past me in a shop and told me I looked ridiculous! I was wearing black trousers, a hoodie (but a 'grown up' hoodie, more like a casual jacket) minimal make up-nothing remotely ridiculous or 'out there'. I just found it odd.

I find myself staring absent-mindedly or if I like someone's clothes sometimes though.
Maybe she was having a bad day and didn't direct her scowl at you, it was just there?