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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Would you report someone for smoking with their child in the car?

376 replies

JigglyTuff · 02/05/2017 09:13

Just walked past a woman waiting in her car for infant school gates to open. There was a child in the front seat. She was blowing her smoke out the window and I looked round because I could smell it and wondered where it was coming from.

Or should I just mind my own business?

OP posts:
NotAnotherUserName5 · 02/05/2017 14:42

She was BU smoking with a child in the car, but I'm not sure what you could have done?
You could of politely reminded her of the law, but I doubt she gives a shit.

Fruitcorner123 · 02/05/2017 15:08

There's a website called www.askthe.police.UK and you can ask questions on it. You could try and ask whether this should be reported given you don't have all the person's details.

I agree it is awful that people still do this and so harmful to the child. It is illegal and the person should be fined.

You could also print a leaflet off and put it on the windscreen next time you see the car.

None of this is likely to stop the person from subjecting their child to the dangers of second hand smoke but you will at least not have turned a blind eye. People who are saying it is none of your business are wrong. We all have a moral duty to act of we see something illegal particularly if it impacts directly on a child or someone vulnerable and unable to speak for themselves IMO

user1493022461 · 02/05/2017 19:00

nachogazpacho, that is exactly what I was thinking, but was too scared to say. Flagging it up, and then if they're known for other stuff, it just further backs up the point

Do you think there is some kind of database that has a file on every person, linked up to all the agencies? And even if there was (there isn't, to be clear), how would you ringing about someone smoking in their car with kids be tied into their file, unless you had uniquely identifying details such as their name and dob?

I don't know where people get these daft ideas. Is it a tv thing?

It just really upsets me that in 2017 there is a mother out there that cares more about getting her nicotine fix in convenience than the health and comfort of her child

That upsets you? The other millions of them must make you insane then. And that's before we get on to people doing real damage to their children.
Do you think perhaps you're a little overinvested?

BastardGoDarkly · 03/05/2017 00:39

User are you saying smokes are too thick to know how the police and the law work?!

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 03/05/2017 01:28

You know what upsets me Phyllis?

Child abuse, children being beaten, neglected, starved, raped, groomed, isolated, frightened.

Not some mother having a smoke in her car.

You wouldn't want to know what real child abuse is.

Fuck off and find something useful to do with your day. Your act is wearing thin and you are losing your touch. I believe you were a poster from several years ago who was banned, the style is similar. You were boring then too.

GreenFox17 · 03/05/2017 01:38

Fucking hell, people will report anything these days for their cape and blue Peter badger... Fuck off!

No it's not ideal but it isn't fucking abuse! Chances are that child is perfectly happy and well cared for so why would you try to stir that up? For your chance to be a have-a-go hero? Fuck off and go volunteer at a soup kitchen or something!

'Oh but it's illegal' .. Yeah, well so is driving 31mph in a 30 zone, bet you've never done that though or never been in a car with somebody who has have you? Hmm

RachelRagged · 03/05/2017 01:39

Fuck Me there are some fucking busybodies out there aren't there ?

As for the one rambling about its child abuse , get a grip FFS ..

PS Not saying its right but all you "police" out there ,, you would be called a grass round here but Oh I forgot, you do it all anonymously too don't you ?

blubberball · 03/05/2017 03:21

When I was driving past, I saw a woman smoking in the car, whilst she made her children wait outside in the cold. This was back in the winter. I guess that she wasn't breaking the law or anything

blubberball · 03/05/2017 03:22

Oops, posted too soon.

...but I thought 'Isn't that supposed to be the other way round?'.

PhyllisNights · 03/05/2017 08:47

@user1493022461 where do people get these ideas from, TV? No. You may waste a lot of your time watching TV, but I certainly don't.

@SnipSnipMrBurgess, it is a form of abuse. It's certainly not as abusive as what you've just listed, but it is abuse. I've only been on this forum for a few weeks, stop gunning for people when they have a difference in opinion to you.

user1493022461 · 03/05/2017 08:59

I don't watch any of that stupid crime tv that people are obsessed with, I'm just guessing that's where you get your amateur policing ideas from.

Anyway, it's all a moot point, since the caped crusaders stating they definitely would report people for this actually wouldn't, in general. Because they know they would sound very silly. It's just bravado.

PhyllisNights · 03/05/2017 09:09

Yes, I like true crime, as I've stated on this forum. That has nothing to do with what I believe the police and social services get up to with their jobs. I have no idea how they track or monitor people, but if I see someone breaking the law, I'll report it (regardless of how they enforce that law).

I'm not one to chuck accusations around at other users, as I've had it done plenty to me before, but it wouldn't surprise me if you are indeed 'hotdog mum'.

lasttimeround · 03/05/2017 09:10

It is illegal. I'd make a note of registration and report it. Hopefully they'd get fined. I font know why some are so outraged by someone reporting something that's against the law that involves a child.

user1493022461 · 03/05/2017 09:11

What you believe happens is not what happens. You have got very strange ideas about how the system works, and you are very wrong.

I do not for a minute believe you will report every time you see someone breaking the law. You would do nothing else if you did. And you would get yourself a caution for wasting police time.

I imagine you wouldn't be surprised, if you think the millions to one odds that I am hotdog mum, nothing would surprise you. Other than actual facts, I guess.

user1493022461 · 03/05/2017 09:12

Hopefully they'd get fined

They won't. You can't actually imagine someone would get fined because you said you saw them doing something illegal, can you?
Are people that deluded, in real life?

So depressing.

Ragwort · 03/05/2017 09:17

Like most of the others on this thread I wouldn't dream of reporting it; and I am reminded of the one time I did try to report a serious case of potential child abuse/neglect it was such a nightmare trying to talk to someone other than a bored sounding teenager at social services. It is actually very, very difficult to 'report' something - have any of you actually tried to?

lasttimeround · 03/05/2017 09:19

Even if nothing happens. It's not my call whether it will be actionable of nights. It is my call to report or not. And I'd report because it's harmful to children.
Those bleating on about resource constraints- well reporting things the police can't action at least allows thfm to dvidence them need for more resources.
It's a poorly thought ought law bug the intent is good and havjbv people report smoking in cars with kids may lead to thfm developing something more enforceable or change attitudes around the acceptability of doing this.

MuncheysMummy · 03/05/2017 09:22

Report to the police non emergency number or local station with the car reg plate number it's an offence now and she's a selfish scummy bitch for doing it.

MuncheysMummy · 03/05/2017 09:24

They will call r nip in when passing over the next few weeks and give her a quick reminder it's now against the law and for a very good reason! Don't think we're quite at the stage yet where police are only for serious or life endangering crime!

Nicknacky · 03/05/2017 09:27

Muncheys They really really won't do that. As I explained up thread they don't have psychic powers to know who she is and they aren't going to do that level of investigation for someone saying they saw her smoking.

And many forces don't give spend time giving out warnings these days. They would do mouthing else if they had people popping in for reminders on the law.

PhyllisNights · 03/05/2017 09:27

user1493022461, I haven't told you what I think would happen. I haven't stated anything as fact. Perhaps you should answer the user that asked you if you work for the police or social services as you seem to know so much about it.

user1493022461 · 03/05/2017 09:47

They will call r nip in when passing over the next few weeks and give her a quick reminder it's now against the law and for a very good reason!

No they won't! Call in to who? Even if you've given the reg number, anyone could have been driving. No way will they even look up the reg number, let alone actually send anyone over to a house that may or may not be the home of the person who you said did something illegal?
Honestly, you're living in cuckoo land.

user1493022461 · 03/05/2017 09:50

user1493022461, I haven't told you what I think would happen. I haven't stated anything as fact

You did. You said:
However, if you report something like that, which is illegal, that could flag up a parent who is already known to the police and social services for previous incidents

Which is not how it works. As I told you. You also said police are grateful for such reports, again not true. They hate getting random "I saw someone doing something a bit wrong but I don't know who they are and I have no proof of any kind" reports. It's a ballache.

PhyllisNights · 03/05/2017 09:54

I said COULD flag up. I was being casual. I wasn't stating anything as fact.

As someone else already asked you, do you work for the social services or the police? As you seem to know so much more than anyone else in here. You're such an expert.

anon1987 · 03/05/2017 09:57

I wouldn't but it is illegal. Perhaps next time just remind them it's illegal.

Personally I think it's disgusting, not only are they wrecking their own child's health but they're sending them into school stinking of fags..how shameless of them.

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