AIBU to think the govt should do more to help/support single people?

[windygallows]

Increasingly I've become more aware of how how single people really struggle in a society geared towards couples. Not only is it pretty hard to get by financially or even to afford a house as a house as a single person, but aside from a small council tax rebate there is absolutely no tax relief or support given by the government. One person paying all bills in a system which 'assumes' and sets couple-dom as the standard.

Surely the govt could intervene by, for instance, setting a different/reduced tax code for those who are single than those in domestic partnerships/couples. Being single is usually out of people's control, often down to fate, and shouldn't be penalized.

I've been single for the majority of my life and vividly recall how much better off I was in the 10 years I was with ex-DP; it was a marked difference. I've seen accomplished, but solo, friends struggle. I certainly don't want to hope and pray that my DCs meet someone just to ensure they have a good quality of life and, as a society, it sends a pretty rubbish message that being independent means that you're likely to have a reduced standard of income.

I do agree about council tax, it should be a 50% discount. The house over the road is rented out to 6 sharers, who presumably pay only a sixth of the council tax each yet could potentially be using council services times six for many things.

( the poll tax made a lot of sense in many ways)

Would these be "hard-working families" asked the invisible single woman?

I dont even know how bereavement benefit works when you lose a partner. All the information is geared towards those with children.

When I was single I felt that the government was always banging on about hard-working families and ignoring single people (hard-working or otherwise), despite them making up quite a large proportion of the population.

It's much harder to buy a house on one salary than it is on two. Single supplements on holiday are extortionate. Bills can't be split in two.

I do agree about council tax, it should be a 50% discount. The house over the road is rented out to 6 sharers, who presumably pay only a sixth of the council tax each yet could potentially be using council services times six for many things.

but they have to share? Likely, they don't want to share, but they do to keep bills down. Once you take away the incentive to share, people won't, putting more pressure on housing.

User149 I am trying to state that the govt gives money to support families living in larger spaces, EVEN IF they don't have all the money to live there. So it's not just about spending more of your own 'hard earned cash' to have a bigger space.

The govt doesn't do that for single people. Things like children sharing bedrooms isn't even considered appropriate these days but hey, ho if you've not coupled up might as well spend your life in a shitty bedsit.

Should i be expected to house share afterwards.

the trouble is that others are expected to do this.

A family with 2 children is probably much more likely to use more than twice as many resources from the council than a single person.

Unless that person has issues that need council support.

Council tax can probably never be charged in a way that suits people - unless people don't pay any tax and buy all services themselves out of their own pocket. Which is not a good thing.

Imagine you are married, the children leave and you separate. Oh - and you're renting as well. Or have to sell the house.

What happens then? You suddenly find yourself on your own wage, single and need somewhere affordable to live.

That happens to a lot of people. In their 40s and 50s. Then imagine you lose a job and have to get a minimum wage job.

Happens as well.

chili then maybe more ppl should refuse to be carers

So because i didnt have kids i should be treated differently if i lose a spouse to those that have.

Some facts

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/families/bulletins/familiesandhouseholds/2016

In 2016 there were 18.9 million families in the UK.

There were 12.7 million married or civil partner couple families in the UK in 2016. This was the most common type of family.

Cohabiting couple families were the fastest growing family type between 1996 and 2016, more than doubling from 1.5 million families to 3.3 million families.

In 2016, around 25% of young adults aged 20 to 34 were living with their parents, increasing from 21% in 1996.

In 2016, around 7.7 million people lived alone in the UK, the majority were women.

In 2016, around 28% of households contained one person. Although this has not changed much over the last decade, another source, the General Lifestyle Survey, which provides a longer time series, shows that 17% of households in Great Britain contained one person in 1971. Although not directly comparable, this suggests that the proportion of one person households has increased considerably since the early 1970s.

Mum2

Sorry but I think people need to support themselves as they see fit. No government intervention is necessary.

I do not want state intervention into my life, and I do not think it should become 'essential' in any shape or form.

I thought I was the lone libertarian here!

Tobolsk I believe that in principle as well but we live in a world where the state intervenes in all aspects of our life and is not going to back off anytime soon. Of course the aim should be self-sufficiency to not have to use or take things from the state, but the issue here is not about handouts but the principle that government policy is focused on families (for lots of reasons, no doubt it is the largest population group and perhaps the ideological 'ideal') and single people aren't considered in the creation of policy. Hence the reason they are overtaxed and under-considered.

Orlantina ...which is pretty much what happened to me.

Husband left me, kids are all now gone... I'm not entitled to any help (and actually quite proud that I manage without any), but if I'm ill, for example, and only get 16 hour sick pay...in one month I will default on all my bills and I'll be homeless.

I would HAPPILY houseshare! It would be lovely to have company and just my own bedroom to retreat to. But I don't think anyone else would put up with my (somewhat hyperactive) small dog, and I'm not bloody getting rid of her (because why should being single (through no fault of my own, just bad choice in men) mean that I can't have pets?

windygallows

Right, the issue is that there is a government policy when there shouldn't be. The government should not be taxing its citizens at all.

If the government needs funding then it should find it elsewhere.

Orlantina Re: council tax. Agreed. In my one-bed flat there is me. In the one-bed flat next door is a couple. They produce at least twice as much rubbish as me (our bins are next to each other, so I can tell quite easily). My flat pays the same amount of council tax towards refuse as theirs, but they produce twice the waste (and recycle less than I do).

I read those stats too. We are an ageing population but at the same time, with the exception of 1976, birth rate has exceeded death rate every year since 1955. Net migration has only been responsible for a minority proportion of the 9 million population increase since 1975. Not only are people living longer but there are more single people year on year. At some point, Governments will have to accept that they can't just ignore single people any longer.

I would love to be able to live with a person of my choice but no one fancies that so it's not a choice I have.

I probably have less space because there are six of us in this house. Than a single person.

Single people have more risk. DP and I both work. When DP was made redundant, we still had my salary coming in. Single friend who was made redundant was only entitled to about £70 a week unemployment benefit. It is far easier financially as a couple. It spreads the financial risk, and it is cheaper living as a couple.

It's nice that a coupled-up person finally gets this!

And when I participate in this discussion, I participate as a truly single person - nit just someone who's coupled but just not living with my partner

There.Is.No.One.Else.

I once took on a high-stress, high performance job. I got paid a bit extra but as I was working long days, 6 days a week, that extra money was not-quite enough to pay for a cleaner once a fortnight & a gardener once every 6 weeks or so.

But the thing that I found even more difficult was the lack of domestic emotional support from a committed intimate domestic partner. There was no-one to go home to, who would (mostly) revive in me the idea that I was an OK person, and help me to find my nice ordinary self, who showed me that - whatever difficult decisions I was having to make at work - I was still loveable/likeable. No shoulder to cry on, and no-one whom I could love & care about.

Yes, I have friends! Of course. And good colleagues, and family.

But no-one for whom I come first. It made doing a tough job very very tough in a way that those of you with [good] partnerships have vbery little idea about. I do that day in, day out.

I solved it by spending yet more money: I bought in a therapist - I went weekly, as a way of getting a safe place to offload & think things through, without fear of over-burdening friends or colleagues. I received mostly unconditional positive regard through person-centred counselling (it's a standard therapeutic approach). This was particularly necessary when I was being bullied in my job (I may have been in charge in title, but there was a colleague who resisted & fought that via bullying).

I worked through some issues, but when I look back, I realise that part of what I needed was the feeling of having intimate/confidential emotional support. A therapist is not a loving partner - of course! But she offered me a shadow of that feeling of someone being 'on my side.'

Being single can take an emotional toll, when you have to face everything essentially on your own.

What if people are ill?

I worry about this. I do anything/everything I can to stay healthy, but you can't always control it!

And I fear old age as a single person, with no advocate. No-one to feed me in hospital, no-one to advocate for me. No-one to defend me against bureaucracy calling me a 'bed blocker.' I save as much as I possibly can to guard against a miserable old age.

I should think being a single parent AND being ill is something that doesn't bear thinking about. The worry of what would happen to your children if you were ill and there was no one to look after them - except the State.

GoatsFeet I'm behind your post 1000%. Its the really little things that get you, that build up to be huge things and that you'd never think were so important if youve never really been without them.

Sometimes you really need someone that you know will listen to you rant about your day and then give you a hug and say "lets go out tonight, you deserve a break". Or who you know will come home later when youre feeling lonely. Or maybe even just say "I threw your washing in because I was doing some and I know you'll need it for the weekend". Someone to be visible to, and matter to.

maisy the point is you and your dp have the same tax threshold as a single person. Fair? Not really

Totally Fair!
I go out to work and I earn my money.
DH goes to work and he earns his money.

I get taxed on my money.
DH gets taxed on his money.
Bob down the road gets taxed on his money.

Are you seriously saying I should take less money home a month than a single person who does the same job as me just because I'm married?!

We run 2 cars, pay water for 2 people's worth of showers, pay electric for 2 people's worth of lighting/conputers/ phone charging etc.

Yes, things were tight on rent when I didn't live with DH but the solution there is to look at rent controls not give single people more money/dock money from couples.

What GoatsFeet said