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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ice cream

63 replies

LockedOutOfMN · 01/05/2017 16:25

Went for a walk with the children. Bumped into an ex colleague at the ice cream shop. Our ice cream shop offers cones or plastic cups and we always tell the children to have a cone as it can be eaten or if thrown away it will biodegrade. Our son who is nearly 9 asks for ice cream in a cup and we refuse and offer him the same scoop in a cone. He says he'd rather not have the ice cream. Daughter gets her ice-cream and we go outside to where there are benches and a play area. Husband goes to the loo. Ex colleague who was queuing behind us comes over and says several times that I (not we) am cruel not to have bought our son an ice cream. I am pleasant and say that we always try to think of the environment. She continues to call me cruel. The children both go off to play and my husband joins them. Ex colleague eventually gives up and wanders off so I go to the play area too. Moments later, as we're about to head off, she comes running over with her husband and presents our son with a huge ice cream in a cup and announces to most of the play area that I was too cruel to buy him one.

Are my husband and I dicks for our cone-only rule? Today was the first time either of the children has quibbled over it; both of them like cones.

I have defriended the ex colleague on Facebook but do hope we don't see her again any time soon.

OP posts:
ProudBadMum · 01/05/2017 16:26

I'd say the cone only thing is quite silly

But the colleague was in the wrong for doing that. Looks like they were wanting to be seen as some kind of ice cream hero.

dementedpixie · 01/05/2017 16:28

I think it's strange to have a cone only rule. Can't the tub be recycled? My dd has a tub as she never wants the cone part

carjacker1985 · 01/05/2017 16:28

Your cone rule is hugely OTT but if your son genuinely said he'd prefer to go without then eat from a cone (and it's not something you enforced on him) then it's none of her business really.

Bubblysqueak · 01/05/2017 16:29

She was wrong for doing what she did, but I do think it's an odd rule.

MrsChopper · 01/05/2017 16:29

I think your cone only rule is silly too. However, she was wrong to undermine you and show you up like that!

Sleepdeprivedredhead · 01/05/2017 16:29

If this is a regular thing for your ds. Purchase a small stainless steel cup or bowl or part of a lunchbox set. Have it around for days out.
It's fine to have environmental concerns. But it's not always on and off. You can reduce consumption and model that, seeking options.
Your colleague was ott.

Wolfiefan · 01/05/2017 16:30

Totally OTT to call you cruel and I think "friend" was a dick to but an ice cream for YOUR child and present it as if they were the hero and you were the evil parent who kept your children under the stairs.
BUT I think your rule is a bit extreme. Do you not own a car, heat your house, buy food that has to be transported to the shop, use electricity etc etc. unless you are eating a hell of a lot of ice cream then one tub won't kill the planet!

NeverTooOldForAnything · 01/05/2017 16:30

I think your rule is a bit OTT, but your DC had the option of an ice cream and turned it down, so it's hardly cruel.

Your ex-colleague sounds batshit.

AWaspOnAWindowInAHeatwave · 01/05/2017 16:31

Sounds like you've done the right thing by defriending her. Bizarre.

FollyFowlFully · 01/05/2017 16:31

She's a twat. Weird rule but then I'm sure I have an odd weird rule here and there if I thought hard enough about it.

The Self-Appointed Ice Cream Messiah. She must be living large.

Lepetitmarsellais · 01/05/2017 16:32

Your rule is weird but colleague shouldn't have undermined you.

Sirzy · 01/05/2017 16:32

Do you never bug crisps or sweets or anything else with packaging then?

As others have said your rule is rather bizzare but your colleague shouldn't have interfered

PreviouslyBannedToaster · 01/05/2017 16:32

You both sound as odd as each other to be honest Hmm

ChicRock · 01/05/2017 16:33

You and your colleague sound as batshit each other.

I love that your DS couldn't be arsed with your silliness it either and would rather go without an ice cream. Sensible kid.

Mamagin · 01/05/2017 16:33

Nothing wrong with a cone only rule, well done. Ex colleague was really out of order.

Vroomster · 01/05/2017 16:33

Can you not recycle the tub, it seems like a silly rule. Your ex-colleague was out of line though.

user98765797837 · 01/05/2017 16:35

I think the colleague is B U.... they are your DC and so know and should follow your rules.... no matter if they agree or disagree with them.

We've had weird looks in the playground when I refuse to let my children eat the cake or sweets sent in for children's birthdays as soon as they leave the school building.... They know they have to wait until after tea and are fine with that.... people sticking their nose in is pretty annoying! Your familiy, your rules.

Original poster
LockedOutOfMN · 01/05/2017 16:38

We don't own a car and try to reduce packaging as much as we can, e.g. growing our own veg and fruit, shopping at markets, but of course we're not perfect by any stretch. I guess I was scared by all of those articles on takeaway coffee cups and their environmental damage that we decided to stop using them. Both of our children have always been happy to eat from a cone, but maybe our son is getting to that tween boundary-testing stage.

OP posts:
Original poster
LockedOutOfMN · 01/05/2017 16:39

Vroomster and others. The tubs are a small version of the cups from places like Starbucks. They don't recycle.

OP posts:
ADishBestEatenCold · 01/05/2017 16:40

I think your cone-only idea is brilliant.

The little tubs are very often not biodegradable/recyclable because they are plasticised (and often come with a little plastic spoon instead of a wooden one), so unless you are as organised as Sleepdeprived, then a cone really is best. Doesn't matter if they don't eat it. It will biodegrade very quickly.

HerBluebiro · 01/05/2017 16:42

Ex colleague is being unreasonable to undermine your parenting decisions. Although I doubt the paper cup is the part of the ice cream with the biggest environment impact

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 01/05/2017 16:43

I can see the logic of the rule. A tub could be recycled if you wanted to take a sticky tub home, but more than likely would end up in a general bin destined for landfill. Recycling also costs environmentally in energy use. Better to reduce than recycle.

It's not cruel to offer a restricted choice and for a child to go without because they chose to decline.

Hollybollybingbong · 01/05/2017 16:43

YANBU. There is logic behind your 'cone rule' which you have explained to your DC.

Starbucks et al have finally cottoned on to the damage their cups cause to the environment and have made the changes necessary to make it more enticing to use a reusable cup. If your ex colleague hadn't butted in your DS would have had the opportunity to consider that the only difference between ice cream in a cup and ice cream in a cone is that one leaves a plastic cup to dispose of.
There is nothing wrong in standing by what you believe is right.
Were I a more confident person I would like to think before deleting her from Facebook I would have linked a couple of memes about the environment. (But I'm not and I wouldn't!)

DeadGood · 01/05/2017 16:48

"I doubt the paper cup is the part of the ice cream with the biggest environment impact."

It is a part that's really easy to do without, though. They aren't recyclable. And removing, say, the dairy component would obviously have a fairly big impact on the ice cream.

The cone only rule is perectly reasonable imo. Lots of people like to pay lip service to being green, but like to think that you don't actually have to make any changes to the way we live our lives.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 01/05/2017 16:53

She shouldn't have undermined your weird rule.