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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Ice cream

63 replies

LockedOutOfMN · 01/05/2017 16:25

Went for a walk with the children. Bumped into an ex colleague at the ice cream shop. Our ice cream shop offers cones or plastic cups and we always tell the children to have a cone as it can be eaten or if thrown away it will biodegrade. Our son who is nearly 9 asks for ice cream in a cup and we refuse and offer him the same scoop in a cone. He says he'd rather not have the ice cream. Daughter gets her ice-cream and we go outside to where there are benches and a play area. Husband goes to the loo. Ex colleague who was queuing behind us comes over and says several times that I (not we) am cruel not to have bought our son an ice cream. I am pleasant and say that we always try to think of the environment. She continues to call me cruel. The children both go off to play and my husband joins them. Ex colleague eventually gives up and wanders off so I go to the play area too. Moments later, as we're about to head off, she comes running over with her husband and presents our son with a huge ice cream in a cup and announces to most of the play area that I was too cruel to buy him one.

Are my husband and I dicks for our cone-only rule? Today was the first time either of the children has quibbled over it; both of them like cones.

I have defriended the ex colleague on Facebook but do hope we don't see her again any time soon.

OP posts:

haveacupoftea · 01/05/2017 16:57

YANBU, she was out of order.

Tbh though I'd have felt sorry for the lad not getting an ice cream and would be tempted to do the same

AbbieLexie · 01/05/2017 16:59

Impressive example to your children about how we can all help this environmental chaos we're in. Your colleague and her husband were out of order.

AnotherQuoll · 01/05/2017 17:00

Cone only rule is a great idea! Good on you. The ice cream hero colleague was rude to interfere and undermine. I'd be annoyed also.

Tenpastlate · 01/05/2017 17:01

Your rule is well meaning but way OTT. Your son is old enough to start to take responsibility for making his own decisions.
Your ex colleague was BU to undermine your sanctimonious decision.

harderandharder2breathe · 01/05/2017 17:22

Your rule is OTT but your friend is BU to call it and you cruel

Louiselouie0890 · 01/05/2017 17:27

Your not the dick she is. I don't think it's weird to have that ule that how you live you like to do your part nothing wrong with that

squoosh · 01/05/2017 17:30

I like your cone rule! Small changes and all that. You were offering him the ice-cream the only caveat being he ate it from an edible receptacle. Seems very sensible to me and in keeping with your lifestyle from what you say.

Ex colleague behaved in a very bizarre manner indeed. Offering him a kipper instead of an ice cream would have been mean, but a cone instead of a tub? Not so much! 🍦

Violetcharlotte · 01/05/2017 17:34

Your rule is silly - I can't stand ice cream cones! However she was unreasonable to buy him an ice cream when you'd said no.

Bumply · 01/05/2017 17:44

Ds2 always has the cup as the cone isn't gluten free (except very occasionally)
But colleague was unreasonable to against your wishes.

FinallyHere · 01/05/2017 17:45

Thank you for making the cone only rule. I agree that the plasticised cup cannot be recycled.

Our organisation recently adopted a reusable containers only for coffee. It seemed a bit of a pfaff at first, bit we have all adapted pretty quickly and it is a contribution to keeping the oceans clear of plastic.

As for ex-colleague, words fail me. Who needs to be a superhero so badly they would try to undermine a parent?

Original poster

LockedOutOfMN · 01/05/2017 17:49

Violetcharlotte
Your rule is silly - I can't stand ice cream cones!
? I'm not holding you to this rule, VC?
I've stated at least once that both of our children like the cones.

OP posts:

JustCallMeKate · 01/05/2017 17:49

So you didn't buy your son an ice cream because the container he wanted couldn't be recycled yet you were happy for him to eat an ice cream and cone that was most likely loaded with sugar? Ok then

Original poster

LockedOutOfMN · 01/05/2017 17:50

you were happy for him to eat an ice cream and cone that was most likely loaded with sugar?
Yes.

OP posts:

squoosh · 01/05/2017 17:56

'So you didn't buy your son an ice cream because the container he wanted couldn't be recycled yet you were happy for him to eat an ice cream and cone that was most likely loaded with sugar? Ok then'

I'm failing to see any kind of contradiction in this.

eternalopt · 01/05/2017 17:57

Your ex colleague is BU. It was none of her business and she shouldn't have interfered. On the plus side though, free ice cream!! Recycle the cup and giggle to yourself that she is out of pocket!

KreamyKoala · 01/05/2017 18:03

Your cone rule comes from a good place (trying to be nice) and above anything, it's your rule and you have every right to enforce it. The woman sounds batshit.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 01/05/2017 18:05

Op I need to know what you said when she gave your ds the ice cream? I honestly think I would have taken it off him and handed it back to her. I mean I think the tub rule is a little Ott unless they get ice cream daily but each to their own and she should not have done that. Did you not shut her down with her initial cruel jibe?

LightYears · 01/05/2017 18:08

Don't mess with a kids ice cream.

TroysMammy · 01/05/2017 18:14

I always have an ice cream in a cone because I like to get my money's worth.

StewieGMum · 01/05/2017 18:14

Your ice cream rule sounds excellent. Hadn't thought of it but since less than 1% of the 2.5 billion disposable coffee cups used in the U.K. are recycled, it's an excellent plan.

LonelyCactus · 01/05/2017 18:15

I like your cone rule. I regularly take part in beach cleans and straws, takeaway cartons and tubs are what I pick up most. :(

Anyway, that woman was awful. Rude and nasty.

LightYears · 01/05/2017 18:16

Some kids don't like waffer.

LightYears · 01/05/2017 18:17

*wafer

Original poster

LockedOutOfMN · 01/05/2017 18:20

Nocabbageinmyeye
Op I need to know what you said when she gave your ds the ice cream? I honestly think I would have taken it off him and handed it back to her. I mean I think the tub rule is a little Ott unless they get ice cream daily but each to their own and she should not have done that. Did you not shut her down with her initial cruel jibe?

DS said thank you for the ice-cream and then ate it. He shared with his sister as she'd finished hers by then. (There was no discussion of how awesome cups are instead of cones). We didn't discuss it but I felt he was gracious and good mannered and reflected the values my husband and I have tried to instill in our children. I guess all of us are just groping our way through, aren't we?

When she mentioned it the first time, our daughter told her why she was eating from a cone (our daughter's rather outspoken ). Then the children went over to the play area. I repeated our family stance on non-recyclable plastic cups once more to the ex colleague. Then she carried on and I didn't say anything else except goodbye when she walked off (I assumed she was leaving but actually she was going to buy the cup). I am not very confrontational and don't see the need to have an argument. It's not as if we were right and she was wrong; we just have different opinions.

OP posts:

squoosh · 01/05/2017 18:21

If they don't like the wafer they can scoff the ice-cream and then throw the wafer away.

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