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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you get newborns to sleep??

85 replies

FanaticalFox · 01/05/2017 10:56

Thats it really. Took our 2 day old home from hospital yesterday. She will not breastfeed so onto SMA pro formula (stayed with Sma as she had that in hospital) she cried and stayed away allllll night til 6am when i finally got her to sleep in her moses basket with ewan the dream sheep Hmm now i don't want a total repeat of this. ANY help or advice would be gratefully received, midwife is coming this morning to help us too! But mainly to look at breastfeeding which i already know is highly doubtful as they gave up in hospital.

OP posts:
LilacSpatula · 01/05/2017 20:35

Definite yes to the sleepyhead and we tried a dummy on the second week and she loves it. She's now 20 weeks old.

Cheby · 01/05/2017 21:27

Just wanted to say you're doing a great job OP, it's bloody hard. 4wo DD2 is balanced on my arm asleep while I eat my dinner one handed spilling crumbs into the bed. Blush

She's been asleep since 5ish and it's 9pm now. That means she's going to be awake through the night (and I couldn't nap earlier because I have DD1 around). I'm steeling myself for a long night cluster feeding while watching Netflix and hoping I can get a few hours at some point and maybe a nap while DD1 is at pre school tomorrow.

You just have to muddle your way through and figure out what works for your baby. They are all different. For our first it was being rocked or slung to sleep and then co sleeping, for DD2 it's being swaddled in a Sleepyhead in a bedside crib.

Be kind to yourself, help each other out, sleep when you can and remember these days do not last forever, however much it might feel like it at the time.

GinIsIn · 01/05/2017 21:34

Yup - as PPs have said: sleepyhead, MAM bottles, infacol. Also, try warming the sleepyhead with a hot water bottle before you put the baby in and line it with the top you've been wearing so it smells like you.

SoftSheen · 01/05/2017 21:44

Newborns usually are rather nocturnal, and often want to feed all night (irrespective of feeding method). It is exhausting but doesn't last forever.

Both of mine breastfed to sleep, and would only sleep on mine or DH's chest for about the first 10 days.

I agree with others that it is absolutely your decision whether you breastfeed or formula feed. If you want to breastfeed, do get some help now and you will still have a good chance of success. Milk typically comes in on about day 3.

Congrats on your baby :)

Legma37 · 02/05/2017 01:36

Another thumbs up here for the Sleepyhead. Transferred from Crib to Sleephead gave us 3 hour stretches on sleep. Also, when I BF, I take out the mattress of the Moses Basket and put it behind my back to warm up so to help transition sleepy/sleeping baby from my warm arms into the Moses Basket.

Legma37 · 02/05/2017 01:42

@RoseGoldProsecco Your last thought in your post made me blub.

pyjamapyjama · 02/05/2017 04:58

Womb noises/white noise on Youtube. We found one that lasts for hours so used to have it on for hours. Totally normal for them to only sleep on you, we used to find DS would fall asleep on our chest and we could very slowly put him back in his crib.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 02/05/2017 05:25

Couldn't help clicking on this as I'm up with five week old DD. Obviously I don't know any more than you and have been scouring this thread for extra tips. But, FWIW, what we're doing at the moment is shift sleeping, because the baby won't settle unless she's snuggled up on us. So one of us sleeps for a few hours then we swap over. It's quite nice as you do a few hours snuggled with the baby, then you make tea for the other person and wake them up, then they wake you up with tea later.

That might not work perfectly when your baby is really tiny and you're breastfeeding, but if you end up with a velcro baby in a couple of weeks, maybe try it? It is so much nicer than trying constantly to get her into a crib - the crying only minutes after you've put her down is soul destroying.

Loads of people will tell you you are 'spoiling' the baby or 'making a rod for your back,' but I got the MN seal of approval that that's nonsense. Grin

Original poster
FanaticalFox · 02/05/2017 06:16

Thanks everyone. I cam cope but my DH is not doing well with lack of sleep even though he is an amazing dad already and running around after me and DD as my stomach is certainly holding me back a bit whilst it heals. So i want to do as much as i can myself. We have a sleephead but its the bigger one "from 6 months". How do you all use yours? On the bed? Ours is too big to fit in anything but her full size cotbed which obviously she won't be in for quite a while. The mobility of my stomach is annoying me as if i had her on the bed in the sleepyhead i couldn't reach over and get her without a lot of faff. Last night she slept ok in the moses basket from 6am for 3 hours but tonight/this morning she won't have it at all! So she's now asleep on my chest in the living room and I've left my DH to sleep a bit. Just need to make the best of midnight til 6am sort of time ready for when DH goes back to work so we have some sort of routine or plan so he can sleep! I am happy to stay up with her or sleep in stints as I'll make up for it in naps during the day. Anyway I'm rambling!

OP posts:
MoodyOne · 02/05/2017 06:19

Congratulations!
We had to spend the first two nights with our DS on our knees as he would not be put down , after that he was happy being fed/rocked to sleep and in the Moses basket next to the bed ... read up on the fourth trimester, it really helped me see things from their point of view xx

GinIsIn · 02/05/2017 06:59

I would definitely get the small sleepyhead - the whole point of them is that they're meant to be a cosy little nest. Have you though about a bedside crib you can put it in?

Original poster
FanaticalFox · 02/05/2017 07:21

I havent but I'm having a look now. Surely she'll just behave the same as when we put her in the moses basket? I.e its not on our chests! I should try and make the moses basket a more cosy and inviting place first before forking out for the sleepyhead and crib.

OP posts:
Imi22sleeping · 02/05/2017 07:37

The fiest few daya are hell on earth i stayed up all night for about three nights and my husband did the days and i just fed her. I put a hot water bottle in the basket to make it cosy and took it out beforw baby went in that uaed to help but they gerneraly want to be with mummy. 3 and a half years later and im still up.most nights with her my attuide was really atressed about no alwwp and i wish i had juat accepted aleep was a thing of the past i think i would have coped better

Daytona79 · 02/05/2017 07:41

I'd get her checked for tongue tie if not latching

BertrandRussell · 02/05/2017 08:20

Fox-please don't take this the wrong way- but your dh really does have to shoulder quite a bit of the burden in these early days-particularly if you've had a Caesarian. Don't try and do his bit as well as yours! You need to focus on recovering and if you do want to give bf a go on that. She's only 3 days old- she still thinks she's part of you. There is no way you can be in any sort of routine yet-trying will just set you up for failure and make you feel awful. At this stage whatever gets the maximum sleep for the most people is all you need to do. And if that means she sleeps on you, then that is the thing to do.

Original poster
FanaticalFox · 02/05/2017 08:53

Thank you Bertrand x

OP posts:
MrsNuckyThompson · 02/05/2017 09:01

I assume you were feeding her while she was awake in the night. She was most likely awake for food! That is totally normal and it takes a good few weeks for newborns to truly distinguish between night and day!!

MrsNuckyThompson · 02/05/2017 09:02

I'd also say that if you are keen to BF I wouldn't take 'they gave up in hospital' too seriously. In hospital they just don't have the time or resource to give every mother the attention she needs to get going with breastfeeding. As others have said your milk is probably only coming in now and when that happens it will be much easier.

dottymay · 02/05/2017 09:05

I ides gina ford's book it's a strict schedule but it worked for me

C8H10N4O2 · 02/05/2017 09:12

I would echo every word Bertrand said - I would never have slept if we hadn't co slept for the early weeks. Also whilst your DH is finding the disrupted sleep difficult so are you and if he can step up and give more help in the first week or so you will recover more quickly and be able to cope with more of the load if that is what you both want.

Taylor22 · 02/05/2017 09:28

Op my son didn't sleep through till 2 and even now at 3 can still wake sometimes. Do not put an expectation on a baby who has no idea of what night time is. It will not be healthy for you and can cause serious stress.
Secondly. She just spent her entire existence inside you.
Warm, secure and with your smell and heartbeat. She has no idea where she is or what's happening. Keep her close. You are all she's knows. She can not rationalise being alone in her basket.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 02/05/2017 12:18

Agree 100% with bertrand.

It actually makes me quite angry to read that your DH 'isn't doing well' with lack of sleep. Unless he has a medical condition, he really should be coping fine, and certainly better than a recently-delivered mother who is breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is exhausting. He needs to be looking after you. Especially if he's not at work at the moment.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 02/05/2017 12:22

Also, if you have had a section, have you checked the guidance for what you should and shouldn't be doing in the early days? It was an eye-opener for us - the list we were given included saying that you should not be ironing, preparing meals, or hoovering, for weeks. You really need time to recover.

Another lady in our NCT group was even told she shouldn't lift her own baby, as his birth weight was quite high.

usernotfound0000 · 02/05/2017 12:27

We did:

Ewan the sheep on heartbeat setting
The top I'd been wearing that day lining the Moses basket
hot water bottle in just before putting her down, and back in when getting out to feed

No idea if it was pure luck or any of these worked but by around day 5/6 she was sleeping in 2 hour chunks.

usernotfound0000 · 02/05/2017 12:29

Also, agree with whoever mentioned the fourth trimester. Definitely helps to see why they only want to sleep on you.

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