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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be lusting like an old Cougar after a young man half my age?

55 replies

DoryGlory · 30/04/2017 15:53

This has never happened before, I am a reasonable adult and level headed, but I've recently been crossing paths with a certain young man who is so handsome that I can't speak when he is around! WTF? Is it my hormones? I'm I having a mid life crisis? Does this happen to other people?

OP posts:
DonaldStott · 30/04/2017 17:18

I think if it was a 40 odd year old man posting about lusting after a 22 year old in his office, the responses would have been very different.

I think it's a bit sad.

mycavitiesareempty · 30/04/2017 17:26

Don't be silly. I listed after a 40 year old when I was 23. It was fab at least to start with

mycavitiesareempty · 30/04/2017 17:26

Or lusted even....

BrexitSucks · 30/04/2017 17:27

My gut feeling is post a picture of him here & I'll say if YABU.

(ignore me, I've had some wine...)

Original poster
DoryGlory · 30/04/2017 17:31

😂 no chance Brexit, I would be outed in a flash!
Donald, I think the difference is that a 40 something year old man wouldn't be checking / questioning themselves, they probably would have tried to have a go!
I am married and have no interest to act on it whatsoever, I just wondered if this kind of thing happens to others that's all.
Also, I do need to communicate with him (we don't work together though) so I need to get a grip of myself!

OP posts:
stevie69 · 30/04/2017 17:41

This has never happened before, I am a reasonable adult and level headed, but I've recently been crossing paths with a certain young man who is so handsome that I can't speak when he is around! WTF? Is it my hormones? I'm I having a mid life crisis? Does this happen to other people?

OMG, yes. Why shouldn't it? I'm 50 but I chase after (and catch) men around their mid 30s. I like them cos they're in good nick, look nice, smell nice. They like me cos they know I'm not gonna ask them to 'put a ring on it'. I'm single and if they're single (and that's something I do insist on) then what's the problem?

You go girl. Enjoy Smile

Stevie xx

stevie69 · 30/04/2017 17:44

And for anyone wondering if I'm having a mid-life crisis .......you betcha, I am. What would mid-life be without its associated crisis? Blush

S x

StealthPolarBear · 30/04/2017 18:04

Stevie the op is married

stevie69 · 30/04/2017 18:16

Ah, I did check the thread but I didn't spot the most recent message, where she said that she was married.

In which case .........you can't really help a sudden rush of lust but probably best for all concerned if you seek out a bucket of cold water. Give him my number .....I'll deal with it Grin

Sorry and all that.

S xx

icy121 · 30/04/2017 18:23

It's not unreasonable to find a man at his peak more attractive than a middle aged bloke.... always find it odd that tastes are supposed to mature into fancying thinning hair and a paunch. Sod that. Lust away!

BreakfastAtStephanies · 30/04/2017 18:36

At a previous job I worked with a very handsome lad, he was gorgeous. I was 33 and he was 19 or 20.

I wanted very badly to snog him ( his face off ). Never did. I used to think about how that would be.

On a work night out I told him his cheekbones were " top banana ". See - I was even trying to talk like the kids.

Kalinka16 · 30/04/2017 18:46

I sit next to a rather delicious guy who's young enough to be my son. He makes my day. I feel quite entitled to look at and admire young beauty, knowing that I'm totally past it, middle aged, married too long and have young children. It's a little fantasy and it keeps me happy...

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 30/04/2017 18:52

It's ok to appreciate a thing of beauty.

Just make sure you're not openly leering or making innuendo laden remarks..That could be uncomfortable Confused

Original poster
DoryGlory · 30/04/2017 19:05

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties
I'm struggling to string a sentence together let alone make innuendos. I'm being obviously awkward, he must think I'm very strange!

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 30/04/2017 19:08

Oh that's ok then, I thought you'd gone all "Ooh, Young man!" on him Grin

Perhaps imagine him with disgusting feet or pooing on the toilet to put yourself off a bit?

Original poster
DoryGlory · 30/04/2017 19:14

Grin I will try that

OP posts:
pinkstripe · 30/04/2017 19:29

Why the hell not? (in theory, if you were single). I'm 43 and been divorced for two years. Been on a few dates, two of them turned into fwb, it's been great. They were all between the ages of 26 and 31.

They're so gorgeous and fit and baggage free, and there's obviously something about me that they like. I'm not planning on marrying one of them, but the sex has been awesome... Smile

ForalltheSaints · 30/04/2017 19:54

Does he want to be French President one day?

Original poster
DoryGlory · 30/04/2017 20:18

He could pass as French Smile

OP posts:
didnotplanthis · 30/04/2017 20:27

Oh I hear you sister.
45 and 25.
It is terrible. I hate feeling like this.

Yesterday in the gym he actually put his hands on the bottom of my spine area to feel the area which I need to be careful with when lifting heavy weights. He wore shorts and t shirt, and I nearly died. He would die if he knew what I thought about him.

Original poster
DoryGlory · 30/04/2017 21:23

I'm so glad I'm not alone here

OP posts:
didnotplanthis · 30/04/2017 21:29

I think this must be a form of midlife crisis. Cant wait for menopaws to hit. Hmm

I think I am really lusting after my lost youth. The kind of men I could have had, and the life they have ahead of them that I dont.

Mind you, I am fitter now than I was 20 years ago!

Original poster
DoryGlory · 30/04/2017 21:41

I think I'm remembering the kind of men I used to be able to play with Grin
My 20's were a lot of fun! No regrets there! I thought I'd got it all out of my system.

OP posts:
Notcontent · 30/04/2017 22:15

I think it's hormonal. I am your age OP and also lusting after someone much younger. I am single and really obsessing about him. It's terrible!

Gottagetmoving · 30/04/2017 22:36

I think if it was a 40 odd year old man posting about lusting after a 22 year old in his office, the responses would have been very different

You would have to be very naive to think 40 odd year old men don't lust after 20 something women.
They may not pursue them....but they certainly fancy them. If your partner tells you they don't ....they are probably lying.
And....it's not sad....it's quite normal whether you approve or not.