To ask how much harder it is going from one DC to two?

[HariboFrenzy]

Have just got a bfp, although it's very very early days. DS 1 will be 2.7 when dc2 arrives, all being well. Have just told my DM and she has let it be known that she thinks I'm going to find it a struggle

I know that going back to the newborn stage is going to be tough, and opportunities to rest will be greatly reduced with a toddler around. I know that there will be a period of adjustment while ds gets used to being a big brother.

Realistically, how much harder will it be?

Thinking about this again, I think there are a few reasons I found/find it so hard. One is I was quite old having DC1 and I was used to my independence and had a good standard of living including eating out and frequent European weekend breaks. Another is I didnt/don't have any family support. Another is my friends disappeared as they obviously continued their lifestyles and children were not invited. Another is we moved to a bigger house but to an area I dislike but is affordable. I was used to city living and the entertainment and flexibility that comes with that. So a whole list of factors contributed to how I (didn't) adjust but I see people who are so content as they have support around them.

I've definitely found 1-2 a lot harder than 0-1 even though knowing how to look after the baby was a breeze I found having to get two out of the house, bathed, entertained all day long (DH works long hours/nights) very hard for the first 6 months. DS is now 7 months and I'm only just starting to think I'm getting the hand of things! On the other hand I feel so happy with 2, the way they interact with each other is just lovely.

For me it was easier. DC 2 fitted happily into toddler's structured day. Also my family immediately felt " complete " , and i knew everything was a phase, unlike dc1.

Even the nicest mums can have a hidden agenda, and like to belittle us, maybe yours is doing the same? Apologies of she is not like that, and it's a genuine concern for her.

But I went round for about a year going on about how much easier it was with two.

Congratulations.

I hope you get to prove your DM wrong... there will be bad days that goes without saying but I think if you stay organised and do a little bit each day you will be fine.

Does your DC1 nap? If so, continue to tire DC1 out in the morning so they nap in the afternoon which will give you a chance to nap which you will need the first 6 weeks at least. I'm still napping now and DS2 is 11 weeks lol. Thank god DS1 naps still.

My DD was 2.11 when DS was born. It was hard, but we survived and 18 months in it's so much easier and really fun when all is going OK. So much depends on the personalities of your children (and you and your DP!). DS had colic for a few weeks and has not been a good sleeper, so that made things harder. On the other hand, DD has mostly been very sweet with him, which is lovely to watch. She certainly found it tough not being the centre of attemtion at times, and still does. That's completely normal and I think it's good to acknowledge that to your child.

Congratulations! And try not to worry, because it's probably easier to imagine the hard work and exhaustion than it is to imagine the joy.