My mum bought the wrong paint

[bluestardressinggown]

I'm moving in a couple of days into a flat that my parents bought. I will be renting from them, competitive rate.

Anyway, quite a lot needed to be done to the house before anyone could move in. I have ended up having to paint all of the rooms. It was agreed yesterday with my mum that I would go to the house to finish off painting the living room after work and that she would pick DD up from school and babysit. I told her that I had run out of a particular paint and will have to pick it up after work. She said she would get it and confirmed that she had bought it via text when I was at work. Anyway, I got to the house, change into my painty work clothes and see that she has got the wrong paint! I end up going to the nearest b and q 3 miles away via Uber to pick up the right paint. I had to finish painting tonight as I have no other opportunity to do before we move and that is what I discussed with my mum yesterday.

I was very annoyed when I realised that she got the wrong paint. Had a bit of a 'Basil Fawlty' moment on my own in the empty house, shouting etc. I texted my mum just letting her know the paint was the wrong one and I'll be getting another.

A couple of hours later I call her, I ask did you get my text, she said yes and starts saying 'ooh are you in the flat painting?' and makes out as though she didn't realise that was the plan. She then asks how long I'm going to be and how long she will have to wait until she goes. AIBU but this has really annoyed me. She either is claiming she can't remember out lengthy conversations about tonight's plan or she is just annoyed that I pointed out that she made a mistake. I would have liked her to at least acknowledge she made a mistake and apologise knowing that it was very inconvenient for me. It took a whole hour out of my paint time going to and from the shop to get the right paint. It also cost me a fortune. I was already knackered because I had worked a full day at hospital.

I hate moving anyway and am pretty stressed out so it is not going to take much to get me upset at the moment. I have this move and a whole load of other stuff going on...

YANBU! I sympathise with OP! It seems like you went along with their idea with a view to making it a situation where everyone benefits, you have a nice home, they have a tenant they trust - but you've drawn the short straw. I was in a similar situation years ago, and paying market rent etc was not seeming to be enough! I felt like a skivvy and, like you, had to do all the fixing and painting, whereas if DM had got in a random, she would have had to do it. After a while I came to realise that it was only truly beneficial for her, as I was paying market rates, but taking extra care of the place and doing all the fixing etc myself. Everything that ever stopped working or fell to bits, my mum would suggest that my DH did it on his tiny bit of time off. Everything from painting and decorating, to electrics and fixing the boiler. By having me there she basically had no LL duties whatsoever. I don't think you sound spoiled, and assuming you are a nurse (long shift in hospital) I suspect that yes, you'd had enough at that stage. Moving is bloody stressful, but in our now lovely home, we had to move into as a complete bloody pigsty and clean and decorate around our boxes. Not my preferred way of doing it, but not impossible either. If you've run out of time, just do the living room once you're in.

I'm surprised I'm the only person who apparently thinks it's a bit odd to seek market rate rent from your child. The op's mother is presumably of the 'baby boomer' generation, many of whom who did extremely well in terms of property. She obviously did, because she can now afford to invest capital into buy to let, while the (millennial?) OP will presumably have great difficulty affording a home of her own. If I had cash to spare, I'd want to help my dcs get on the property ladder. An awful lot of people I know have had financial help from their parents for this.

Maybe this goes some of the way to explaining the OP's apparent over reaction about paint?

Thank imperial and Jengnr for having a bit of empathy. Actually, Jengnr put it exactly how I was feeling very succinctly, much better than I was clearly able to do. I was feeling very overwhelmed with everything, and yes I have a lot of balls in the air with very tight time limits so it really was the straw that broke the camel's back. Incidently I haven't had a go at my mum at all about this, this was purely an anonymous rant online with a bunch of strangers. I do find some of the comments here over the top tbh. I find it hard to believe that all of these people have never found themselves irritated by a loved one or whoever who hasn't done something properly when you've got a lot on your plate. If you have never felt that spike of anger when you've been tired and stressed by someone else's minor misdemeanor than good for all you. But looking at the tone of some of the messages makes me think that you are not that zen either. Ok, perhaps I was feeling unreasonable. I wrote that thread in the early hours, I was tired and anxious and yes the paint thing did frustrate me as I had a lack of time and energy. But have I fallen out with my mum? No.

Anyway, I have asked MN to pull this thread as I fear it could be identifying and they asked me to let you all know.

Perhaps I wasn't even annoyed at my mum, just that the situation re wrong paint was very frustrating and put a spanner in the works.