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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on sick from work?

38 replies

Hotpinkangel19 · 27/04/2017 14:41

Looking for opinions, can take criticism! So much is going on at the moment, my mum only has days/weeks left, I'm so heartbroken and need to look after my poor 75yo dad too who has brought her home to die. My husband is a lorry driver, so away quite a lot. I have 3 DC's and to top it off I never took my pills while mum was in hospital and have just found out I am in the very early stages of pregnancy, but on anti anxiety meds so terrified as I have had a early MC 6 years ago. On Monday I pulled my back at work and if hasn't got better, I can't sit/stand without being in pain... I made a GP appointment today to try and get sorted out, and ended up in tears, and told her everything. She told me to take time off work as I was under a lot of stress, plus coming off my anxiety meds will make me feel awful. I never have time off work unless needed, and I feel guilty leaving my colleagues to work harder. AIBU??

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 27/04/2017 14:43

Even the back problem on its own means you're not well enough for work.
What an awful set of circumstances OP. I'm so sorry.
Flowers

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 27/04/2017 14:43

YANBU. Go get some air

Stormwhale · 27/04/2017 14:44

You would not be unreasonable whatsoever to take some time off op. Give yourself a beak. Flowers so sorry about your mum. Flowers

BikeRunSki · 27/04/2017 14:44

The back problem is grounds enough for you to self certify for a week.

EmeraldIsle100 · 27/04/2017 14:52

I don't think it would be unreasonable for you to take some time off. You have an awful lot on your plate and are under tremendous pressure. Your colleagues pressures are not your responsibility. It is your employer's responsibility to ensure that the work is carried out in your absence.

You need time to focus on your mum and to provide support for your dad.

You also need to focus on yourself. i imagine that you do what all mothers do and put yourself last.

You won't be of any help to anyone else if you don't rest and let your back heal.

You only have this time with your mum now and you would regret it if you didn't put yourself first now.

Send in the sick line! Best wishes and congratulations on your baby news. I hope things start to improve for you Flowers

BlindAssassin1 · 27/04/2017 14:54

Yes, take some sick time off. Help your dad, help yourself, take some rest, especially with regards to coming off anxiety meds and a bad back. Plus I find early pregnancy horrifically exhausting.

I know its hard to take time off from work, you don't want to drop your colleagues in it, and perhaps there's money to consider but its not like you're off having a jolly holiday! Don't feel guilty about it. And tbh a colleague who is wound up with stress so much that their mind is not on the job is better off taking some time to deal with their life outside work.

Is it possible that your DH can take a few days off too to help with the DC?

Flowers Life has dealt you a shit hand right now, take all the time you need.

harderandharder2breathe · 27/04/2017 14:58

Of course yanbu Flowers

Original poster
Hotpinkangel19 · 27/04/2017 15:02

Thank you for taking the time to reply xx you've helped me feel that I'm not being unreasonable. Xx

OP posts:
Whereismumhiding2 · 27/04/2017 15:07

Agree with all the PP. Self certify for your back pain. And see how you feel next week, you worj may have compassionate leave too but anxiety or illness in early pregnancy given what is also going on would do it too. Don't put any energetic or happy fb photos or statuses up in meantime!

SallyGinnamon · 27/04/2017 15:08

I am really anti people taking time off work unnecessarily as others have to pick up the slack.

HOWEVER in your case it's not unnecessarily. Give yourself a break and time to get everything a bit more under control. Flowers

Whereismumhiding2 · 27/04/2017 15:09

FlowersFlowers Hope you look after yourself as well as DC, bump and your Mum & Dad xxx Sounds like you / your family are having a really traumatic time so i really hope your friends can rally round you too xxxx

McButtonwillow · 27/04/2017 16:20

Definitely yanbu at all Flowers

Wolfiefan · 27/04/2017 16:23

You really are being completely the opposite of unreasonable. You need to take the time. You really do.

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 27/04/2017 17:28

You would be being unreasonable to go to work in those circs. Take some time off and be with you family Flowers

MaverickSnoopy · 27/04/2017 17:59

If ever there was a person who should not question whether being off sick was the right thing, it is you OP.

I'm so terribly sorry you are having such a hard time. Be kind to yourself.

MrsTwix · 27/04/2017 18:25

Do what the doctor tells you.

Mermaidinthesea123 · 27/04/2017 18:29

Go off sick for goodness sake. Your colleagues will cope.

WashBasketsAreUs · 27/04/2017 18:57

* Feeling guilty leaving colleagues with more work to do*

^^This. As I've always told people who have worried about this, if you dropped down dead, they can't get you up and work you with strings. No one is indispensable. If the prime minister/ queen/ your boss disappeared tomorrow, what would happen? Someone else would have to step in. Take the time off. X

Trifleorbust · 27/04/2017 19:07

Oh god, do it. Nothing matters more than your health.

Sistedtwister · 27/04/2017 19:16

I work in HR. If you sat in front of me and told me all of this I'd make you a strong cop of tea and call you a taxi home.

You need some breathing space and time to heal. You have to much going on to be very effective anyway. Spend some time with your mum and hep your dad Flowers

ForalltheSaints · 27/04/2017 19:18

You injured yourself at work, not playing sport or mountain climbing. Stay off work and get yourself better. Good luck.

Salemthecat · 27/04/2017 19:22

Take the sick leave and spend the time with your mum and dad OP. YANBU at all.

Flowers for you xx

mydietstartsmonday · 27/04/2017 19:25

Please take time off. If you were working for me and would tell you to take time off. Just do it.

Ameliablue · 27/04/2017 19:32

Take time off

Chewie1000 · 27/04/2017 20:31

Definitely take the time off!

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