How on earth did I not notice? - Massive guilt!

[MycatsaPirate]

My DD has been diagnosed with dyslexia. I didn't even notice any signs of it.

She is at university and one of the tutors noticed her handwriting and spelling and asked if she was dyslexic and she said 'not as far as I know'. She was sent for a basic test and then a proper assessment where she was given a formal diagnosis.

I feel enormous guilt. She has gone through her GCSE's and A levels with me nagging her to concentrate, improve her writing and just generally ignoring the 'I can't read this and take it in' comments. She said that to be fair she was a bit of a prize moaner and it's not fair to blame me for not noticing.

I just feel so bad. She now gets extra help at uni with more time with the tutor and more time to do assessments but really, she could have done with this help in school too.

I knew of someone dignosed at Cambridge uni
In their first year.

I was 17 when i was DX by our English professor... He read one essay and said miss twinkle you are dsylexic - the college will pay for the test you will get the help you need.

I got extra time in all my exams ....Makes me wonder if i had that at GCSE i would have got a's instead of b/c's

My twin sister was picked up at school but she also didn't want to do the work...Where as i fought and struggled to do it, my mother wasn't convinced....

so she has a diagnosis? What does that mean....she has still done very well and is the same person.

Don't feel guilty! We are going through something similar with DS2 - 14 and only now are we getting an assessment, as it's only since he got ito GCSE level work that the cracks are beginning to show....

Quick Q for those who have experience : if your child gets a diagnosis of dyslexia do they then HAVE to declare it on official forms etc? What if they don't think it's relevant/ fear they might be discriminated against?

Years and years of drinking and drug taking....when really he should have been being very, very careful

Generally when out drinking my thoughts aren't along the lines of "thank God i've got a spare kidney"

Thanks humphrey will google

Don't beat yourself up. My DS was at A level stage before his dyslexia was diagnosed.
I had guilt. But my DGM pointed out the school hadn't spotted anything and they are qualified to be educators. What chance did I have?
In the end it was me that spotted the issue and paid for a private assessment. But it was far to late imo.
Your DD is diagnosed now and can get the support she needs

if your child gets a diagnosis of dyslexia do they then HAVE to declare it on official forms etc?

No, but it probably won't hurt. DH has a medical condition which is not relevant for the majority of things so he doesn't bother declaring it on employment forms, even though it might guarantee him an interview, he doesn't see the point. He told his uni about it when he did his Masters as he got a separate room for exams in case he had an attack/needed to take his medication. It never happened but it reassured him.

It's hard to detect if mild. DD2 (8) has Irlens and mild dyslexia. I thought she was a little slower to read than DD1 but she can read, and has always got "meets expectations" in school reports and the school never had any concerns. It was only because I took her for a tutor assessment that it was picked up as I felt she was struggling a bit to move onto longer books and to read with speed and accuracy. Then a test at the opticians confirmed the visual stress.

She now has coloured film to put over books which helps to stop the words moving around, and her reading has really come on this year. In fact everything has as her brain isn't working so hard to stop the words whizzing about and can just get on with other things.

Well you aren't a dyslexia expert so I don't think you should feel bad. My son was 3 and fell off a table, yes what was he doing on the table?, and I got him dressed and took him swimming. That afternoon I noticed he was holding his arm strangely and ended up at A&E. I felt so guilty when they said he had broken his arm. I was obviously upset and the doctor said not to worry, one of his colleagues had brought his son in and he had been walking round on a broken leg for a week with his dad, a doctor, telling him to stop moaning. It made me feel a tiny bit better.