Aibu to think that some people just never get over depression

[homeandstillhome]

Just that really - my mum suffered from depression her entire adult life until she died at 40.
I was great until pnd two years ago and since then I have just been scraping along.

Aibu to think some people never recover?

MargaretCavendish This was my worry as well when trying to get pregnant. My hair started to fall out with the stress (but i would say regular stress and not depressive stress) i think after suffering from depression you become hyper aware of your emotions (i have anyway) and scrutinize everything.

As for PND whilst i worry about it, i take comfort in the fact that i have over come it once and can do again :)

I think of it in terms like a recovering alcoholic...I am "better" in that I am not depressed but I'll always be aware of it.

^This is very accurate and maybe what i was trying to touch on when i was trying to explain my thoughts about it last night.

but there are two main types of depression are there not? Circumstantial and chemical in balance?

So it depends which one you have.

There is a quote I love that goes something like " before you diagnose yourself with depression or other stuff first of all check your not surrounded by arseholes" I love this because if you are - how do you ever know!

This was DH he was depressed when met him but that was his life - he had nothing else to measure normal life agaisnt, normal life being in my eyes - lots of variety, different opinions, high life - low life....all sorts of people.

HIs upbringing was severely restrained, very very strict ways of doing things, little joy and fun. Very serious.

In all the years I have been with him, over a decade I have not seen any signs of depression.

I think I've been depressed all my life because I can't remember ever not feeling like this. I have issues around my childhood and parents, and nowadays feel a bit better because I have gone NC and that makes me feel less helpless. But if you saw me and my life you wouldn't believe that I am depressive - I feel low, sad, like a bit of a failure, I feel tired and defeated by life, and I often spend/waste whole days on the internet doing rubbish (Not MN tho' that's not rubbish :-) and that makes me feel even more useless.

However, I take care of myself as much as I can, eat well, rest if I need to, try not to let the bed days get me down, remind myself of my successes and often have an internal dialogue going in which I keep telling myself that I am worthwhile, that I am making a difference, that I am achieving the things I need to, that people love me and value what I do.

I do sometimes wonder though what it would be like to not have to think about any of that and just be normal. ...sigh...

I am in the midst of a severe depressive episode at the moment. This is largely due to trying to break away from abusive marriage and being dumped by a guy I was really into.
The last time I felt this bad was 16 years ago when I lost my first son. I have suicidal thoughts and am cutting myself off from people. I can't just buck up or be strong! I don't want to spend days lying in bed crying and not being able to function but I can't bloody help it!
Currently on mirtazapine which is doing bugger all but doctor refusing to change meds. Waiting for assessment with psych to see if am ill enough to warrant seeing a psychiatrist. I hate my life.

I had a breakdown of sorts when I was 17 and diagnosed with depression. Pills for best part of two years, dropped an A-level. Everyone shocked as I had always been hugely energetic, full of beans, always cheerful. When I came off the pill my GP said "you may find you will always have periods of depression" and he wasn't wrong. Had another two years at 25 and 18 months at 38 and on the pills. The rest of the time, I do get very black days or a couple of days every couple of months or so, but they pass.

So yes, I think some people never get over it. But some can manage it better or recognise that it's a "short visit from the black dog" rather than he's staying for a while.

I do think it's possible to have depression that never goes away. I am sure that I will always have depression.

Looking back, I was depressed in my mid-teens, when I was having suicidal thoughts as a result of long term bullying, and I think it has blighted my life ever since. There are times - months, sometimes - when my mood is OK, but then it slides down again.

This is why it scares me when my GP talks about wanting me to come off antidepressants, in the long term. I know that there have been too many times already when the medication has kept me from the absolute worst depression, and the thought of someone taking them away is scary - and I will resist it as hard as I can.

When I saw my Psychologist Consultant for my second bout of depression, I stated how disappointed I was to get a second bout. She said people are generally split into thirds - one third will have one major episode and then nothing more, one third of people will have a number of episodes over their lifetime and one third of people will have depression for the rest of their lives. I've made peace with the fact that I'm in the second third.