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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed he flirted with me but asked her out

41 replies

Rowenadobbins · 25/04/2017 19:28

I feel so daft for letting this get to me.

There's a guy my friends and I know through our university course. He's been really friendly to all of us and there's been friendly flirting. We would consider him a friend.

He has a student on his course he couldn't stand but who came to all social events. He openly put her down, refused to talk to her and generally showed a complete disinterest in speaking to her or having any interaction with her.

Fast forward 5 months and we all said we would stay in contact. We wondered if he was interested in any of us romantically and we all said if he asked one of us out the others wouldn't mind.

Then, he asks the woman he couldn't stand out!!! He got her number from a guy she knows and asked her for a drink!!!!! He's replied to our messages only and never initiated contact with any of us.

So why flirt and be friendly with us and treat that other woman like nothing only to ask her on the date?

AIBU to be a bit annoyed and confused by this?

She turned him down saying he was rude to her so she has no intention of seeing him again. Not exactly the way to win a woman over is it!

Do you think he just asked her it to make us jealous? Maybe we annoyed him accidentally?

OP posts:
VestalVirgin · 25/04/2017 19:33

I would assume he's immature and can't deal with being attracted to a woman.

When I was in primary school, there was a boy who bullied me some days, and went out of his way to give me flowers on others.

... I guess it is possible that man hasn't yet grown out of that stage.

You sound jealous. There's no need to be. He's either immature or a jerk, so no loss, really.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 25/04/2017 19:34

Confused why the hell are you fawning over a guy who openly treats anyone badly?

Do you think he just asked her out to mskr us jealous Christ you have a high opinion of yourselves. Are you sure your not 13?

TheNaze73 · 25/04/2017 19:37

You sound like a deluded teenager. If it was that important, why didn't you ask him out?

pnguin · 25/04/2017 19:39

Unless "university course" is code for GCSE English YABU

Harvey246 · 25/04/2017 19:41

Wow, this guy must be pretty special to treat someone like that and still have a whole group of women falling over themselves saying 'pick me pick me!'... or not...

GriefLeavesItsMark · 25/04/2017 19:42

Yes, that is precisely why he asked her out. How perceptive of you.

IHaveBrilloHair · 25/04/2017 19:42

Did he pull her pigtails too?

highinthesky · 25/04/2017 19:43

Do you think he just asked her it to make us jealous? Maybe we annoyed him accidentally? I really don't think this is about you!

You sound as fucked up as each other, if its any consolation?

LineysRun · 25/04/2017 19:43

How do you know he asked her out?

gamerwidow · 25/04/2017 19:47

He spent 5 months negging this woman to pay mind games and make her more receptive to him and she called him out and told him to sod off. Good! Why are you all so desperate to be chosen by this dickhead?

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 25/04/2017 19:48

Sounds like a prize. Puts her down refuses to speak to her. Hope she said no.

BuckinghamLass · 25/04/2017 19:49

He sounds awful. Consider yourself lucky, a man who openly puts women down isn't exactly a prize specimen.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 25/04/2017 19:49

Oh she did say no. Good for her.

Lilyoftheforest · 25/04/2017 19:51

Consider yourself lucky OP. He sounds like a prize prat!

Sniv · 25/04/2017 19:55

Yes, google 'negging', because that's exactly what he was doing - basically playing undermining mind games to manipulate you, your friends and this woman (who I'd like to give a hearty handshake for telling him to piss off). It's not how an honest, mature man with good intentions approaches people.

RortyCrankle · 25/04/2017 19:58

Is he not entitled to ask who he pleases, even if he is a prat?

Guepe · 25/04/2017 19:59

He sounds awful, but you're not exactly covering yourself in glory either.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 25/04/2017 20:00

He is cock.
You are self obsessed.
She is the clever one.

Good luck to her :)

AnyFucker · 25/04/2017 20:03

Was he your tutor ?

OnionKnight · 25/04/2017 20:03

You all sound like twats.

NancyWake · 25/04/2017 20:09

Who cares why he did what he did he's an arse. That woman seems to have the measure of him.

CopperRose · 25/04/2017 20:11

Proper lol'd at Pnguin's post:
Unless "university course" is code for GCSE English YABU

GrinGrin

Lochan · 25/04/2017 20:12

He didn't do it to make you jealous. He's not the least bit interested in any of you.

He's interested in her, because she doesn't like him. He was horrible to he because she didn't like him but asked her out to prove to himself he's irresistible.

She clearly has more sense as she said no.

He's a poor long term bet. Look elsewhere.

upperlimit · 25/04/2017 20:16

Fast forward 5 months and we all said we would stay in contact. We wondered if he was interested in any of us romantically and we all said if he asked one of us out the others wouldn't mind.

He flirted with All of you and you All thought you were in with a chance and agreed you wouldn't mind when he picked the chosen one?

Are they running Hollyoaks scripts through the MN bullshit filter now?

pictish · 25/04/2017 20:17

He sounds a right knob. Obviously he's got thing for her. He's not bothered about any of you.
Let this one drift.