Yep, it's a MIL one...

[Incoganito]

Name-changed for this as, to be honest, I don't think I'm going to come out of it well - but I have to ask...

After much thought and deliberation, DH and I named DS 'Jake' (names have been changed to protect the innocent). MIL insists on calling him 'Jakey', which I find incredibly irritating (DH doesn't really care, but is trying to support me!). We have asked her nicely not to refer to DS as such, but rather than backing down and just mumbling something about having a miserable DIL, she's pushing back, wanting to know WHY she can't call him that, he's her DGS, etc.

I completely get that in the course of his life, DS will probably pick up all sorts of nicknames and I will have zero control over it, but for now he's not even a year old! But - before you tar me completely with the 'one of those mums' brush - it's 'Jakey' in particular I cannot stand; we've said to MIL she is welcome to call him whatever other pet name she bloody well wants. Also, I know another baby who's actually called 'Jakey' - as per birth certificate, not just a nickname. So to me it's a different name altogether. Like if I called my child Bob, but MIL insists on referring to him as Dave If DS wants to go by 'Jakey' in future and sound like an utter twat then I will absolutely suck it up and cope.

So, AIBU or is MIL?

ducks to avoid deluge of biscuits

"Next DC, if we are lucky enough, will have to have a name ending in a 'y' sound."

But then it'll just get shortened to Tobe or Gaz.

People will always shorten or lengthen names affectionately. It's as certain as death or taxes.

I'm with you OP. My ds name is the same and it really bugs me when it's shortened. So to stop this I've asked people to call him by his full name because we want him to learn that that is his name (he is 6 months). So far it has worked. But I am fully prepared that as soon as he started school I will have no control and I don't mind that at all. But for now he is my baby and I want him to be called the name I chose.

My grandson has a name that is often shortened and I like the shortened form. I asked if the shortened form would be used and was told 'no' very firmly. I respect that and always refer to him by his full name.

What dies mean??

Is it James and Jamie ?? If so it would annoy me too

For your own sanity, you need to relinquish control a little

Your ds might decide he likes this nickname and wants you to call it him

He might start school and get a nickname like "JJ" or "Big Jake" or his friends might call him "Dave"

He is not an extension of you, I say this with kindness, you will drive yourself mad if you dont relax a bit

I wouldn't fall out with his granny over this unless there are other, bigger issues.

My DS is called Oscar and my mum insists on calling him Ozzy...I really don't like Ozzy but she is my mum and she loves him so I've never let on that I don't like it, it's pretty harmless.

It is not the same as Bob/Dave though, adding -ey at the end is classical nicknaming.
However, I don't understand why your MIL doesn't accept it, it is not as if you were forcing her to use one specific nickname, you are just veto-ing one.
So YANBU from me!

Ooo yes. I'm going for James and jamie too. If it's that I think that's different to most names that you chuck a 'y' sound on. Although it is a nickname it's quite unusual and Jamie is very common as a name in its own right.
I think we need to know the name to know for certain

My parents have mispronounced one of my DC's names from birth - think along the lines of 'Ellie' bring pronounced 'Allie' - nothing to do with accent by the way, they are just mispronouncing it. I spent the first two years gently correcting them. Then I gave up. Some battles are not worth fighting

I have found that putting the EE or EY sound on the end of babies names is so common. My 4 children with obviously 4 different names have all been referred to as NAMEE or NAMEY when they were small. And actually found when the children learnt to speak names themselves they use the EE or EY sound on most names - after all Mummy, Daddy, Nanny, Baby all have them anyway. Though my 4 year old grandson now corrects people himself if they use his name with an EE or EY, and actually spells his name out to them for good measure. Maybe your little one will do that too.

YABU. Choose your battles, as my mum always reminds me.

If it is James and Jamie then YANBU.

If it is James and Jimmy then YABU

If it is Edward and Teddy then YABU

I could go on.........................

Meh. My cousin is called Jessica. Her parents have never liked 'Jess' to the point where someone will say '..icca ' if you call her Jess.

I now just call her Icca.

Make up a pet name for your MIL, see how she likes it.

If it makes you feel any better, my DM has never liked my DD's beautiful first name. Say, for argument's sake, my DD is Eleanor. DM hates this, and from the day she was born, has called her Elizabeth instead. She will write her proper name in cards and obviously KNOWS her actual name, she just loves to call her Elizabeth 'by accident' whenever she can.

DD is now 13. DM still does it, every time. DD corrects her. Every time.

So, in summary, in 13 years, you'll probably be fine!

YABU. It's none of your business. You don't own your son.

YANBU

Yeah, I can see how this would be irritating, but also, I can't see how it's ever going to be a battle you can win. We've named our DS a name that can turn into a lot of pet-names (think Elizabeth that can be shortened to Elle, Ellie, Liz, Liza, Lizzy, Beth, Betty, etc.) and at least one of them is just cringily horrible. Guess which one popped out of the mouth of his new preschool teacher after we had distinctly introduced him with his full name. Like you, I very much wanted to correct her, but this is the name we picked and he may love that variation. I hope not, but it is what it is.

My inlaws call DD Chippie or Chip. And I really hate it! So much.

Her name starts with a C. But that's it. No p's, no Ch. Nothing.

But they all have cookie names. So, I just have to accept it as a British eccentricity, I thinkl... ;(

Just to add, if your MIL knows that you particularly dislike a certain variation, it would be kinder, and in the spirit of maintaining good family relations for her to just pick another and run with that, but I guess that goes back to what sort of relationship you have with her.

But they all have cookie names.

Naturally. What weirdo wouldn't thematically name their grandchildren after delicious baked treats??

longines

I meant "kookie" (my predictive text didn't like thar word apparently).

But yes, there is a surprising amount of food related names.

oops

Although... I use baked treats as nicknames. So, I probably shouldn't complain about my inlaws.But Chip/pie. urgh!

I think you let it go, tbh.