No language and big tantrums

[2boytrouble]

I nanny for a little boy who will be 2 next month!

His parents speak Urdu, but I am English. He understands no Urdu and is slowly picking up English! I've been with him since November. He understands things like "sit down" "shoes", but doesn't understand more complex things like "are you hungry?"

Ok, that's where we're at!

The problem is now he's having massive tantrums, they last up t an hour, it'll be over something as simple as leaving the park and during them, there's no touching him, no way to cuddle him because he just won't let it happen!

I'm out of ideas, I've tried singing to soothe him as he usually likes this, but he screams louder and more intensely! I've tried playing with the other boy, but he doesn't come to join in. I've tried cuddling him, but he screams louder and tries to get out of it!

I need help, how can I get him to calm down, he doesn't understand anything I say in respect to calming down and these tantrums are so bad! I couldn't get him off the grass in the park today through screaming so just sat by his side and waited it out (35 minutes was the length of this one)

Please... any ideas!!

Bump for advice

Try using visual prompts or PECs and do plenty of countdowns and warnings. Maybe use a visual timer to help him understand time is coming up. Looks like he finds transitions really difficult.

I'm sorry to say I don't have any advice for you. In my experience the only thing that works with a tantrum is exactly as you did, stay with the child and wait for him to run out of steam. Sorry! Maybe somebody else will have something more useful. Good luck, its not easy

Oh and definitely give Makaton a go

Ok some good ideas, it's quite frustrating at the moment because he'll wake up and just start screaming and having a big melt down too!

The visual prompts may work

Pictures or photographs to show him what is going to happen with plenty of notice that it is going to happen.
Sometimes you may have to ignore the protesting and pick him up and put him in the buggy or car.

Has his hearing been checked recently?

A baby sign course?

I too was going to say hearing.

Try Makaton simple signing as it will help with frustration and doesn't impede speech.

DD was like that at 2. massive tantrums but no speech and very very little understanding. She has now a DX of learning diffs and autism.

not saying that this is the case with your charge but not understanding language is often a huge red flag.

how concerned are his parents? if you were his mum I would recommend hearing test, and referral to salt and possibly developmental paed. but as his nanny, I am not sure. can you raise your concerns with his parents so they can take things further? but it sounds as if something developmental may go one which requires further investigation and specialised input.

He needs a referral for at least a hearing test and a speech and language assessment. Children with language delays need to be seen as young as possible as it is much harder to catch up later on.

This may need to lead onto a neurodevelopmental assessment.

His hearing is fine, he babbles and tries to communicate and has about 10 words. Cat, car for example! He doesn't speak Urdu due to watching so many cartoons from an early age (his parents own admission) he also doesn't answer to his own name

are the parents aware that this development may be not quite usual? or are the oblivious?

Ok so the overall consensus is to speak to the parents to get him referred!

They are becoming more concerned for him as time is passing, but they are encouraged by the recent learning of the few words he has!

Is he able to tel you what he wants by pointing or leading you to things?

definitely referral. if they parents are concerned it may be easier to talk to them?

have you looked up the M-Chat and checked if it flags him up?

Bilingual or trilingual kids do tend to pick up speaking skills a bit later, especially boys - both brothers (and now my nephews too) didn't really start to talk until 3 but by then were fluent in 4 languages. Try signing if you want him to follow an instruction. In my culture we use simple words to describe certain things, Urdu might have similar - eg mumum for food, lala for sleep, bachi for blanket etc

He understands no Urdu and barely any English at 2?!

Is he on the autism spectrum?

bilingual or trilingual kids do tend to pick up speaking skills a bit later, especially boys

nonsense. there is lots of research which has debunked the multilingual myth. often, these children speak even earlier. and as for boys talking late.... don't get me even started. apart from that he has no understanding either

I don't see how not understanding or speaking his parents language can be put down to just having watched a lot of cartoons in English. Didn't his parents talk to him at all?

In the meantime start using baby signing? I found this fantastic for my DC that had speech delay.

well, he doesn't speak/understanding English either bar a few words.

Has he had a hearing test? You can find that children will respond to their name or loud noises yet still have significant hearing loss.

I've heard that bi/multi-lingual children are much slower to acquire language, it could be this? This might be frustrating for him as well. I've heard that Makaton can slow down further the acquiring of verbal language so that could complicate it further but I'm not an expert. I'm sure his frustrations and tempers will reduce as his language picks up, it might just be a case of waiting for that to happen. Good luck.