Airlines, seats, passive aggression

[RebeccaWithTheGoodHair]

I was on a long haul flight over the weekend, 2 lots of 7 hour flights with a 3 hour stopover in the middle - it was never going to be a pleasant journey.

The first bit was OK but on the 2nd flight the people in the row in front sat down and immediately put their chairs back. Not just a little tilt either. They were practically in our laps. Our dropdown trays were hardly usable and the screen was difficult to see.

Of course they were perfectly entitled to do it and I could have done the same. Except I didn't because it's so bloody horrible for the person behind.

I don't get why airlines put these type of seats in, even using the tilt doesn't make them relaxing in any way. All it does it make it slightly less uncomfortable for the person in that seat - but 100 times worse for the hapless person behind.

My AIBU is whether giving it an extra hard shove when trying to use my tray or pick up my bag is U or not?

And if you are someone who does drop your seat back like that then don't you realise how horrible it is for the person behind you?

Mumsnet flight threads do bring out the absolute selfish arsehole in people don't they?

Thankfully I think most people are actually far less belligerent and self centred on most flights.

Actually, if i am seated by the window, on a short haul BA/EasyJet flights it is incredibly difficult for me to get out of my seat to go to the loo if the seats in front of me are down. If the seat in front is reclined, and the person next to me has their tray down, I am unable to reach into my bag to get books/sweets/gun etc. I am a little tubbier and stiffer than I was 10 years ago (age does that, you know), and I don't see why my life should be made more difficult because someone is unable to sit upright for two hours.

'Daytime long haul I will try to be awake and upright for meals, and don't mind if someone woke me in that case, but the rest of the time I need to sleep as I have to work straight away when I get there, and when I get home I need to be fully functioning to be a parent and get back working the next day.'

And quite a few passengers on daytime long hauls are also having to travel on to another destination so may need to sleep. We usually travel Amsterdam-Houston every year and plenty of the passengers are carrying on to other parts of the US a good 4 hour flight away.

Did you try politely ask them if they could move slightly?

You are all so wonderful, but some of you are selfish twats too.

Life on board an aircraft I suppose. All human life is there.

'I am a little tubbier and stiffer than I was 10 years ago (age does that, you know), and I don't see why my life should be made more difficult because someone is unable to sit upright for two hours.'

That's your problem, not the other passengers'. You have no idea that their journey is only that two hours. You can pay extra for more room if it's that big a deal.

user1471518295

Can you choose an aisle seat? I think that's the best seat on the aircraft TBH. I know I might have to get up to let someone out, but that's momentary.

I always choose the aisle seat for ease of movement. Each to their own I suppose though.

OP you sounds unpleasant. No it is not ok to thump someone's seat. He was thoughtless but you are aggressive.

Also if their seats were down right from the start, how come you already had a drink? They would take a while to bring them round. Sounds like a made up story

On a flight Heathrow to Singapore (very full plane) the seat row in front of us were served their meal first and some time later we were the last to be served. Just as we were being given our meal, the people in front, who had by then finished their meal and had their trays taken away, reclined their seats and we finished up with the trays under our chins. My husband was going to ask the people In front if they would mind putting their seats back up, but I thought it would be less embarrassing for all concerned if we asked the stewardess if she could please ask them to do so just while we ate our meal. She refused to do so! She said they had finished their meal so they could recline their seats if they wished.

Short haul, you should never recline seats but most don't nowadays.

Long haul - always up for meals and I think airlines should active the reclining element of seats only when lights go out if an overnight flight. If just longhaul but not overnight, for a long nap after lunch or whatever.

I do not ask the person behind me if it is OK if I recline. What if they say NO?! Especially when the person in front of me has reclined theirs. I wait till meals are collected, decide I want to sleep and slowly recline my seat, but this is usually when lights are dimmed anyway and passengers are expected to sleep.

It's no good getting in a rage and banging on the seat in front, that person is quite entitled to recline their seat at the appropriate time. If they did it during mealtimes, I would press the steward light and ask if they could have the seat in front put up whilst I eat.

Actually, if i am seated by the window, on a short haul BA/EasyJet flights it is incredibly difficult for me to get out of my seat to go to the loo if the seats in front of me are down. If the seat in front is reclined, and the person next to me has their tray down, I am unable to reach into my bag to get books/sweets/gun etc. I am a little tubbier and stiffer than I was 10 years ago (age does that, you know), and I don't see why my life should be made more difficult because someone is unable to sit upright for two hours.
So don't book a window seat where you are crammed in, book an aisle seat instead. Hardly rocket science.

I've never been on a plane where seats in economy reclined more than a couple of inches. Which makes using the table slightly more inconvenient, but its not a huge difference. If they recline more, then your argument that its not a big deal in terms of their increased comfort falls to pieces.

"Why should their comfort come before yours?" Well by insisting they don't recline, you are insisting that your comfort comes before theirs. Someone has to lose, and since the airline installed reclining seats, they clearly think that reclining is generally acceptable.

Also, I'm tall. My knees bash into the seat in front regardless of recline. Paradoxically, it's quite easy to get around this problem by stretching my legs out straighter in front of me, so my knees are lower relative to the seat. This is even comfier if you recline.

No need to be a martyr and not impinge on the person behind you. It's entirely possible they've already reclined themselves!

expat
I have a crumbly ankle and my 5yo is exceedingly vicious grumpy when tired. - does that count?

CMO - completely agree - I sometimes have an overnight flight from west coast USA where I just need to sleep as I'm straight into office on landing. I prebook window seat so not blocking anyone else in aisle but eye mask, headphones and sleep - I can only do this properly if reclined.

On day flights I've come across most of the behaviours cited in the thread and think you just have to adopt a live and let live attitude or other people's behaviours would drive you mad.

If seat in front reclines you can generally adjust tilt of screen/still use tray for drink etc (only time this was truly difficult was when still very overweight after Baby) and if not you can ease your chair gently back a few inches.

I find uncovered coughing and sneezing, bored children and loud hen/stag parties annoying too but I accept it's part of travelling on a plane with other people - when I win lottery I'll have my own Lear jet

always up for meals and I think airlines should activate the reclining element of seats only when lights go out on an overnight flight. If just longhaul but not overnight, for a long nap after lunch or whatever.

@MidnightAura and @OP

Yes, I did get the two of you confused and bundled in to one poster. Sorry.

I stand by the fact that shoving the person's seat in front of you before asking them politely to do something differently is twattish behaviour. If you ask them with good reason and they don't look for compromise then a shove is still twattish but more understandable.

Asking to recline is a bit over the top as it's effectively asking permission to use something you've paid for. Telling is a little patronising. Reclining slowly is good manners as is being upright during service (as I said).

The hypocrisy of the OP getting all antsy and violent (with the furniture, not the passenger) is a little galling.

Now, back to the real issue. The Emirates seats on the A380 have 4 massage settings and I'd like somewhere between the third and fourth....

If the seat in front is reclined, and the person next to me has their tray down, I am unable to reach into my bag to get books/sweets/gun etc.

How do you get on with a gun?

Roussette you sound far to normal and reasonable for a thread like this.

I once put my seat back and had someone who looked just like Mother Theresa bang the back of my seat with an extraordinary strength & determination and shout at me in an unknown (to me) language. She was all of 5 foot too so should have had loads of room. I was a bit scared of her to be honest.

I love the assumption that everyone on a flight is starting their journeys at the same point :)

Devorak

I never said I shoved anyone's seat. I said everytime I shifted position my knees were in contact with the seat in front and yeah I had less space.

He didn't need to ask for permission but to just fling his chair back the second he sat down as fast as he did took me by surprise. Makes me glad I don't fly long haul often!

I have never ever been on a flight where you are allowed reclined seats during take off and landing.

your back "kills" if you sit up straight in a chair? How the hell do you cope generally in life? confused Have you literally NO stomach muscle or something?

Mine does. I have a long standing lower back issue that requires 2-3 osteopathic sessions a year. Providing I go to regular pilates classes and walk lots, and don't sit still for a long time it is manageable. Long haul flights in an upright seat can be excruciating, it simply isn't possible to move around sufficiently to prevent it seizing up. I usually visit the osteopath before a long flight holiday, try to get an aisle seat so I can get up and down and move around as often as possible.

I recline my seat, after meals and overnight. Not usually for the first few hours of any flight though.

Why should everyone else have a less comfortable flight because of your "discomfort" though. It's a seven hour flight, did you seriously expect them not to recline their seats?

Your attitude baffles me.

@MidnightAura

I've already apologised once for confusing you with the original poster...

I can copy and paste again if it makes you feel better.

Devorak

Apologies not necessary:-)