AIBU in feeling so fed up of it all?

[IntheBenefitTrap]

I'm in my early 30s and have various health conditions. I'm classed as disabled, blue badge etc but have been working in a professional role up until a few months ago.

I've had to stop working because my disability has got much worse and I'm housebound 99% of the time, bedbound about 75% of the time.

We are really, severely struggling. My husband works a full time job but is on little more than minimum wage so gets about £300 a week. We've applied for housing benefits and been told we can't get more than £1 a week because of DHs income. I am not entitled to ESA because DH works over 16 hours and I took a year out from working to do a post graduate degree. I can't claim Jobseekers because I am unfit to work. We aren't entitled to tax credits as DHs income is too high (ha). I've applied for Pip and been turned down because the assessor told some extremely ludicrous lies and even though he saw me sobbing in my bed, I was deemed able to live normally.

Our outgoings are so much more than £300 a week and £20 child benefit. We have a DS in school and I honestly don't know how we are going to feed and clothe him, let alone us. We have no savings, we are in council accommodation (10 years ago I was made homeless by ex DH) and we both have debts.

I've seen citizens advice who have confirmed that because DH works 37 hours at just over minimum wage, we can't get any help.

I can no longer walk and NHS funding won't stretch to a wheelchair. I have to buy one and because my condition effects my arms, it has to be electric.

You hear about things like this happening to people but never really think it will happen to you. We've both worked all out working lives, we are nice people, we live to be kind to others. How can this have happened to me?

I feel so useless. I'm in constant pain, I can't move and the stress is making me literally want to die. How can some people seem to get so much help and yet others are left with nothing? I don't understand.

Is there anything at all we can do? I don't know how to go on. I'm disabled and sick and a waste of space in the governments eyes yet 6 months ago I was working for them. Life's a proper bitch.

Also HMRC have probably been underpaying you if they've been using an out of date income figure. CAB will be able to advise if you can claim back payments.

Get in contact with Mencap or the charity related to your condition as they will often have benefit advisers who can help you. I've used mencap for my son and they were really helpful, even if they can't help you directly they can direct you to someone who can.

Try the benefits calculator again, surely you can get something as your dh isn't earning ££ not to qualify. I really don't understand the system, it's awful.

www.gov.uk/topic/benefits-credits/tax-credits

The only thing I can think of that would help is for him to earn more but that would rule you out of state help completely. Appeal the pip and see if he can get carers allowance for you later on.

Posted too soon, you're really stuck between a stone and a hard place OP.

I'm thinking outside the box a bit here & it all depends on the job situation in your area. Could your dp do a term time only job in a school or college (caretaker, maintenance etc)? He would be free during the holidays to care for your family but might earn enough pro rata to qualify for additional funding. This idea might not be helpful as it depends on his current work experience.

ChocolateSherberts2017, her husband won't qualify for carer's allowance as he's earning more than £110 a week. He's better off working and not claiming it, as it's only £62 a week.

How are you doing OP?

Thanks for the replies. Tax credits have put the payments down to £44 a week. Apparently after hours on the phone to them, this is correct. Still not entitled to anything else. Social services are coming to do a carers assessment but have already said we don't qualify for any money. Occ therapy coming next week about the bath and stairs. Referral is in to wheelchair services but a bit pointless as I need one that'll fold to fit in my car.

Pip letter is done for mandatory reconsideration, all 22 pages of it. It was that bad. I am completely drained. Awaiting support letters from GP and mental health team before I can post it.

Phew! Still no better off but some things are progressing.

Well done OP...

Sometimes keeping cheerful is half the battle.

Thanks it's really bloody hard to be cheerful when everything is crashing down around you

You've done well. I can't believe how hard its being made for you. Actually I can . I really hope that things soon start looking brighter for you