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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU in feeling so fed up of it all?

84 replies

IntheBenefitTrap · 21/04/2017 16:25

I'm in my early 30s and have various health conditions. I'm classed as disabled, blue badge etc but have been working in a professional role up until a few months ago.

I've had to stop working because my disability has got much worse and I'm housebound 99% of the time, bedbound about 75% of the time.

We are really, severely struggling. My husband works a full time job but is on little more than minimum wage so gets about £300 a week. We've applied for housing benefits and been told we can't get more than £1 a week because of DHs income. I am not entitled to ESA because DH works over 16 hours and I took a year out from working to do a post graduate degree. I can't claim Jobseekers because I am unfit to work. We aren't entitled to tax credits as DHs income is too high (ha). I've applied for Pip and been turned down because the assessor told some extremely ludicrous lies and even though he saw me sobbing in my bed, I was deemed able to live normally.

Our outgoings are so much more than £300 a week and £20 child benefit. We have a DS in school and I honestly don't know how we are going to feed and clothe him, let alone us. We have no savings, we are in council accommodation (10 years ago I was made homeless by ex DH) and we both have debts.

I've seen citizens advice who have confirmed that because DH works 37 hours at just over minimum wage, we can't get any help.

I can no longer walk and NHS funding won't stretch to a wheelchair. I have to buy one and because my condition effects my arms, it has to be electric.

You hear about things like this happening to people but never really think it will happen to you. We've both worked all out working lives, we are nice people, we live to be kind to others. How can this have happened to me?

I feel so useless. I'm in constant pain, I can't move and the stress is making me literally want to die. How can some people seem to get so much help and yet others are left with nothing? I don't understand.

Is there anything at all we can do? I don't know how to go on. I'm disabled and sick and a waste of space in the governments eyes yet 6 months ago I was working for them. Life's a proper bitch.

OP posts:
Original poster
IntheBenefitTrap · 22/04/2017 11:56

I received my Pip report this morning. They've scored me zero for everything. The whole thing is such blatant lies it's shocking. I'm broken, sobbing and my chest hurts. I can't believe I'm being treated like this, when I am in so much pain and feel so so ill. If I didn't have DS, I'd end it today.

OP posts:
helpimitchy · 22/04/2017 13:11
Sad
Stripyhoglets · 22/04/2017 13:21

You should be able to get adaptations done to your house by the council if it's not suitable. You need to appeal everything and go to tribunal if necessary. You should get more help but this government will do their best to avoid helping unless forced too.

Stripyhoglets · 22/04/2017 13:22

And challenge the council OR decision you should gets stair lift and accessible bathroom OR a move to a suitable property.

Stripyhoglets · 22/04/2017 13:23

Council OT decision.

ShiningArmour · 22/04/2017 13:32

Yes tax credits work on the previous tax year so you won't get them Sad
Definitely appeal pip and challenge the council.

Babyroobs · 22/04/2017 13:34

Tax credits work on the previous year, but you can still ring up with a change of circumstance and a new estimate of earnings for the coming tax year !!

staffy777 · 22/04/2017 22:33

That must have been a shock to receive the PIP letter. Once you've gathered your strength hopefully you can challenge the decision?

One step at a time.

Thinking of you xxx

user1471462290 · 22/04/2017 23:01

Op I feel your pain Flowers

Fight them!
That's the only way we can show the government that we will not be beaten down, the disabled people of this country can fight, we can win,

I believe in you & so does your son & husband

Xxxx Flowers

Original poster
IntheBenefitTrap · 23/04/2017 12:52

Thank you everyone, it was such a shock. The report is completely bizarre. The boxes are ticked for no points for each one, for example washing and bathing, to say I can do it fine, then in the notes underneath it says that DH washes me with a flannel because I can't get in the bath. It's like that for every question. It's unbelievable.

OP posts:
dwpanxt · 23/04/2017 13:13

Now you have the Pip report you can start challenging the outcome.

Have you looked at Turn2us yet? It helps you work out what other benefits you can claim given your circumstances.It also shows what type of charitable grants may be available in your area for your situation.

When it comes to completing forms for PIp and esa assessments its important to write down everything that affects you ,how it affects you and what (if any) are the consequences of any actions. When these forms are used as evidence it can often be the case that if it isnt important enough for you to note it down then it surely doesn't have an affect on your life. So if you havent actually said that you (for instance) are unable to stand to prepare a meal then they will assume that you have no problems in that area at all.Your husband may cook all your meals but 'maybe' thats just because he is the cook in your household . You have to state that you are unable to do it yourself and as he is out of the house all day you have no way of getting a meal for all of that time. Just stating the obvious but to an outsider who has no other way of gauging the level of your limitations.

BadKnee · 23/04/2017 13:24

Good advice here. Appeal, appeal - and get help with the appeal. (MR first - probably won't make a deal of difference but the appeal will).

(CAB will do it for you - but they do get busy and there is a time limit)

There was a good thread on here with an OP by an ex assessor I think. - Search for that.

Remember to say: not that you need help but that you cannot do it at all - which is true. You have to have a carer to wash you.

You cannot cook at all - you have to have your meals prepared for you
etc.

You are exactly the sort of person who should be claiming benefits. Good luck - and I am very sorry to hear of your situation

milliemolliemou · 23/04/2017 14:41

Get the ball rolling with the great suggestions you have here including Turn2Us. I realize it probably takes up your energy, but once you've launched the next steps, try the local media. That always puts pressure on.

Akire · 23/04/2017 15:27

Sounds odd that can give you zero points while contridicting themselves about help. It's prob to late for mandatory consideration you will have to go to apply.

My PIP medical is on Tuesday m bracing self to having to go all the way to appeal if need be!

dwpanxt · 24/04/2017 21:00

It's prob to late for mandatory consideration you will have to go to apply

You have to do a mandatory reconsideration first and only when there is decision on that are you sent the documents necessary to lodge an appeal.

Hope you have gathered a bit of strength now to give it a good go.

Original poster
IntheBenefitTrap · 25/04/2017 09:46

Just can't face any of it. It's not too late for a MR, I have a month.

I've spent the last two days lying in bed staring at the ceiling and it's looking like today will be the same. I can't face speaking to anyone or thinking about it as it makes me too anxious and upset.

OP posts:
curvyfrog · 25/04/2017 10:26

From what I gather, and I may be wrong, on the government system if you are not seeking work (JSA), income support OR claiming a disability related benefit then they deem you as a SAHM that has chosen this option, regardless of your situation.

I think the difficulty is that you were working relatively recently and the system hasn't caught up yet.

Yes to appealing the PIP decision. Yes to getting your GP/ Consultant onboard. Get letter of referral from GP or other health professionals back to Social services ASAP to get advice on adaptations for your stairs (stairlift) and bath (bath aids/ bath lift). This may be means tested, it's been an age since I was working in this field.

If your illness is chronic not acute they must consider access and personal care including you being able to feed yourself/ prepare food.

In time this system should catch up and you'll be entitled to child tax credits and disability benefits, possibly working tax credits too if you are receiving disability related benefits as that means the expected amount of hours worked between you and your husband goes down.

I know this doesn't help you right now, that money is extremely tight. It's a flawed system in regards to it being non reactive. Takes an age to get the right benefits in place.

You will get there. Hold tight.

Original poster
IntheBenefitTrap · 25/04/2017 10:39

Thank you - I've managed to call HMRC and they've confirmed an update to me having no income. They said I will get child tax credits but not until July as they're running from last year's tax year and it will take that long for things to cwtch up. £55 a week it's not much but it's a help. That will cover food at least and I'm very grateful for that.

I need to build up to calling the GP/SS. I have terrible anxiety and a massive phobia of anything medical. I can't even drive past the GP surgery without experiencing panic attacks so it'll be very difficult to sort a letter out.

It's all so hard and time consuming. I don't know how people live on benefits, it's bloody impossible to get them. I'd give absolutely anything to be able to go back to work.

OP posts:
staffy777 · 26/04/2017 12:44

How are you doing today OP? Sending hugs

Original poster
IntheBenefitTrap · 26/04/2017 12:55

Thank you so much for asking. I can't find the strength to start the appeal yet - think it was that much of a shock. I need to get on it with a fresh mindset tomorrow I think.

OP posts:
ChippyTea16 · 26/04/2017 14:08

OP my heart breaks for you reading this, it is disgusting how you have been treated. I have no advice unfortunately other than the appeals that others have posted about. I hope you can get the strength soon to do that as I think it will make you feel more positive you are doing something,

Is there anything your DH could be doing from his perspective i.e. that he works full time and is presumably full-time carer for you and your DC? Could he be eligible to claim for anything?

I don't mean to pry and sorry if I missed it but can anything be done about your condition to reduce your pain? Or cure it?

Please do contact your GP. I understand your fears but perhaps they could get someone to come to you and it won't feel 'medical'? There must be someone who can help. I feel so angry this is happening to you.

Anyway I hope you are feeling better and that the authorities will help you asap x

Motoko · 26/04/2017 21:03

The OP's husband won't be able to claim carer's allowance unless he's earning less than just over £100 a week. (Can't remember the exact amount.)

He should have a carer's assessment though (via the council) in case there's anything they can put in place to help out, such as maybe a carer coming in to make lunch whilst he's at work.

OP, try and find a charity to help you with the appeals, they know exactly what to put on the forms etc and are really helpful.
I used a cancer charity benefits advisor who helped me claim PiP, and as my reassessment is due in September, I expect I'll be needing her help again.

All the best.

Dragongirl10 · 26/04/2017 21:52

Op how about Freecycle? its a great free website for things people no longer want and not rubbish, we got our piano from an elderly lady in our town for nothing.

People give away loads of useful things, also you can post requests in your area, shoes for Ds perhaps, your wheelchair even, you may just be lucky....

Just a thought do you have a spare bedroom?, if so would you consider a lodger? tax free income and maybe company or some care for you....

dangermouseisace · 26/04/2017 22:11

Glad tax credits are getting increased OP. I was talking to citizens advice today- local office has 80% success rate with ESA/PIP appeals. 80%!!!!! Something is wrong with system.

Friend had report like yours- contradictory. She appealed and was turned down at mandatory but got it at proper appeal. She said the people at proper appeal were really nice and understanding. It's a horrible and hard thing to do, and it's awful that the DWP make people go through it- but it seems like you have to now do that to get PIP at all. Sounds lame but try not to take it personally...the system is harsh and shit, and that isn't your fault.

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 27/04/2017 08:39

Please book an appointment at the CAB. They should be able to help you about how to get the PIP appeal underway and also advise what else you are eligible for and who to approach.