Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why does my wee smell like beef?

90 replies

pinkflamingo12 · 20/04/2017 18:55

I wasn't really sure whether to post on here or health, so i'm sorry if this is the wrong topic... Confused

Basically, myself and DH (of 5 years) have been going through a rough patch for the last 6 months or so. About 4 ish months ago the arguing got particularly bad and we started to call each other out about the tiniest things leading to some quite explosive rows. This led me to move out and stay with my mother for a while, which was less than enjoyable but i don't want to get into that.

i've now moved back into our house as we have decided to give our relationship another go. We've started going on date nights twice a week, which i'm definitely enjoying as it's nice to just relax with him again. However, i'm seriously struggling to trust him. When we were separated there was a period of maybe 3 or 4 weeks where we didn't talk at all. Meaning i didn't know where he was or what he was doing during that time.

I can't help but have this nagging feeling that he has cheated on me.

This feeling is made all the worse by the fact that my wee smells like beef. Last week we went on a date night to a lovely little italian in town and we got a little drunk and ended up having sex for the first time in months (we stopped doing it before as we started arguing more and more neither of us felt like it). It was lovely to reconnect but now, when i go to the toilet my wee smells distinctly of beef.

I think he has given me an STI - which he clearly caught from someone when we were separated. I can't imagine any other explanation as to why my wee would smell like this. My personal hygiene routine hasn't changed. The only thing that has changed is that i've have sex with DH.

Please tell me if i'm being silly about this. It's driving me insane.

OP posts:
thespellingbea · 20/04/2017 19:25

I'm interested in why you moved out, not him. It sounds like he was the one being unreasonable Confused

MrsTwix · 20/04/2017 19:26

Were you sleeping around in those 4 weeks, or just moping? He may not have done anything.

If he did, then would it be cheating, or would he have been reasonable to assume you had left him? I don't know what the conversation was when you went, but he may have thought you were gone.

You need to talk to him, but if he wasn't sleeping around then accusations are going to cause you more problems because he will be upset.

If he did sleep with someone else then you need to decide what to do, but there is no point torturing yourself without the facts. If you really can't trust him then why are you there? Would you forgive him if he had slept with someone else?

TheRealPooTroll · 20/04/2017 19:27

If you were separated it wouldn't strictly be cheating so he'd have no reason to lie? Would he be stupid enough to not use protection though?
Another thought - you say you're having date nights 2x a week. Do these involve a meal out and are you eating stuff you don't usually eat or drinking filter coffee like a pp said?

Penfold007 · 20/04/2017 19:27

It could be that you are dehydrated or have been eating a lot of protein. Obviously you need an STI check as well. You don't trust this man so why are you in a relationship with him.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 20/04/2017 19:30

I can't understand how you are enjoying date nights/ feeling relaxed with him when you're convinced he has been sleeping around after your (agreed) separation.

It seems a huge assumption to make and suggests to me you don't trust him an inch and the relationship is dead in the water, whether you have an STI or not. Sad

QueenOlivine · 20/04/2017 19:30

Speaking of jingles, did anyone else hear the thread title to the tune of

Anyway lots of things can cause weird-smelling wee - foods, medicines, UTI, or hormonal changes (strange-smelling wee is one of the many delights of the perimenopause I've found). So you can't really know it's an STI, you just need to see the GP.

If you were actually separated though, and he slept with someone else, maybe he thought it was OK to do that?

Phoebefromfriends · 20/04/2017 19:33

Could this situation be like that in Friends, where Ross thought they were "on a break" and slept with someone else, but Rachel didn't see it the same way? If you don't speak for 3 weeks you'd assume you were single.

Both of you need to be tested to ensure you are both free from infection. Then I would consider reviewing your relationship as you clearly have trust issues. Would you both consider counselling?

Original poster
pinkflamingo12 · 20/04/2017 19:33

On date nights it's nice to get out of the house and have a drink Gin and a bit of a laugh. We almost forget what is happening at home. He pays too which is nice Wink

OP posts:
Phoebefromfriends · 20/04/2017 19:36

Personally I would get tested at a Sexual health clinic and not the GP as I don't think they test for the same range of infections. You could ring beforehand. I also don't think it'd be the GP actually doing it more like the practice nurse.

Fibbertigibbet · 20/04/2017 19:36

QueenOlivine No, but I did hear it to

TheRealPooTroll · 20/04/2017 19:38

Haha me too Fibbertigibbet

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 20/04/2017 19:42

Moby Remix feat. Flibbertigibbet: Why does my wee smell so bad (electronic dance version) Grin

ClopySow · 20/04/2017 19:47

My wee smelled like beef and tomato pot noodle when i was pregnant.

marabounuts · 20/04/2017 19:52

but you split up and you moved out. no contact for 3-4 weeks. I wouldn't call that cheating if he had sex with someone else.

if you are worried, get tested for STI to find out or put your mind to rest.

Original poster
pinkflamingo12 · 20/04/2017 19:57

We definitely didn't split up. We were living in separate houses to give each other space and to try and make sense of the state our marriage was in. I thought it was oh this same belief.

Also, I mostly certainly was not sleeping around during that time, my mum would have far too many questions about my whereabouts - living with her was like being a teenager again.

OP posts:
DeadGood · 20/04/2017 20:05

"He didn't talk to me for almost 4 weeks, any other person would have trust issues too if that happened. I mean, what was he doing? Except sleeping around..."

Huh? This is such a weird thing to say.

OP- the paragraph you wrote above has nothing to do with the way your pee smells. Did you think this before you noticed your symptom? If so, surely you can see that you were ready to pounce on the smallest clue?

And if you didn't think this before your noticed the smell - that you only put two and two together afterwards - then it's such a weirdly overconfident assertion to make. He could have been doing anything! Was he refusing to reply to messages/phone calls, or was it mutual?

Wedrine4me · 20/04/2017 20:09

How long since your smear test? Unlikely to be this but what i thought of as my wee smelling unusual obviously wasn't the wee turned out to be early stages of cervical cancer. As i said it's unlikely to be that but don't ignore it like I did thinking it was my diet causing it or something.

I'm absolutely fine now though Smile

Floralnomad · 20/04/2017 20:11

'Meaty' smelling urine can indicate an E. coli uti , I'd do a urine sample with the GP before I rushed to any conclusions about an sti .

Original poster
pinkflamingo12 · 20/04/2017 20:15

I thought that before my wee started to smell like beef. Since i moved back in he has been a little odd. He doesn't really put his phone down anywhere, it's usually in his pocket, or he left it at work. There's just something suspicious of that and when i realised the beef smell it just sent my mind racing.

OP posts:
Phoebefromfriends · 20/04/2017 20:19

If I went NC for a few weeks with a DP and moved out from what sounds like a toxic relationship i would assume I was "on a break", therefore it wouldn't matter if I had sex with someone else....

Original poster
pinkflamingo12 · 20/04/2017 20:28

I feel like I could forgive him for sleeping with someone else, like it has been pointed out here, he may have thought we were on a break. But if he gave me an STI it would be another story. It's not very fair to have sex with your wife knowing you could well pass on an STI to her.

OP posts:
Madwoman5 · 20/04/2017 20:35

You and he were not together during that time so is this cheating? Get a test done, forget the four weeks and work on trust, respect and living together.

Phoebefromfriends · 20/04/2017 20:45

Do you really want to continue in this relationship? It sounds pretty stressful. I agree that an STI is unforgivable, but even if it comes back negative I don't think that alone is going to sort out your issues.

Good luck OP.

MunchMunch · 20/04/2017 20:48

So do you think that he's maybe cheated while you were moved out or during the 6 month rough patch which could have caused the arguments without you realising?

DistanceCall · 20/04/2017 20:48

OP, I'm not sure what you want us to say - I'm not sure what can be said other than "get tested".

You're here going on about whether he slept around and whether he's given you an STI, and so far you have nothing to go on. Stop speculating until you get actual medical facts.

Swipe left for the next trending thread