to arrange child contact

[ohdeaeyme]

long story short..

violent, emotionally abusive ex. have 2 dc together at toddler and baby stage. he got a conditional discharge and restraining order in january for an assault against me. there were incidents involving the children but nothing i can proof apart from some messages where he is apologisung and saying he never meant to do it to us.

now he wants to see the kids and will be taking me to court to do so. i havent got it in me to fight against him when ultimately he will one day end up with unsupervised contact anyway... but would i be unreasonable to cut out the middle man and somehow arrange contact for the kids.

cant work out if im just too broken down to fight against him having any sort of contact or if i know deep down there is no real point as i dont have a hope in hell of protecting them long term and the uncertainty of everything really badly affects my anxiety so would rather just get it over and done with.

She sounds like she is mirroring. She will also pick up on your distress. Why live like this? You need to move....soon. either into a refuge or find yourself somewhere safe and break contact with anyone who may tell him where you are. Meanwhile the neighbourhood safety team can help put up cameras outside your place and you have your phone to record his mother's visits. She will say she is missing her grandchild but that is for another thread. Time to take action.

what does mirroring mean?

my fear about moving is thst i have barely held it together restarting here i dont havevit in me to restart somewhere completely new.

shes the one who cut contact with the kids because of what i have done to their dad!

she has a referral in plave for an assessment but its 18 week wait lists

if i were to want to move 400 miles to somewhere i have support and could be free from him... would a court stop me?

Unlikely they would stop you if you remain in this country. He could try and stop you but it's unlikely he would get very far

might look into it then. i dont think i will ever feel safe or free here :(