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AIBU?

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Original poster

Handhold needed after awful, awful day

66 replies

Bleurghghghgh · 19/04/2017 20:38

Family wedding. My phone got knocked off a table at the registry office and now isn't working. At the reception I was upset which somehow led to being pushed over my dad, by the face (not sure if that makes sense but he kind of hit/pushed me over at once). Came home. Contacted my ex who I'd been talking to this morning (and longer term have been considering seeing again) saying 'that was a horrific day' he asked why and I told him and his response was 'oh. I thought someone had died. I'm sorry you've had a bad day but I'm not sure what to say'.
I can't contact anyone else as I don't use facebook, I need a handhold :(

OP posts:
Original poster
Bleurghghghgh · 19/04/2017 21:35

Thank you Fortheloveofdog I think you're probably right

OP posts:
Original poster
Bleurghghghgh · 19/04/2017 21:38

Trolls I'm v impressed you've managed to pull all of that out your arse with absolutely no clarification on what actually happened between us or what's happened since. Magical.

'Find sympathy from family or friends and stop contacting him with your needs.'
My dad is the only family I've got but thanks for your continued wisdom.

OP posts:
Oakmaiden · 19/04/2017 21:47

I'm really interested in how you (and others who said the same) have worked that out

Because he doesn't show you any empathy or care. You needed a sympathetic ear - he told you it was all your fault. That, to me, equals not the sort of person I would want to be with.

Original poster
Bleurghghghgh · 19/04/2017 21:49

I agree, Oak.

OP posts:
MsGameandWatch · 19/04/2017 21:51

There's every chance I would have popped back up like a weeble and popped my Dad a good one on the nose if he'd pushed me. I most certainly have made a scene and told everyone what he did.

MuncheysMummy · 19/04/2017 21:54

OP you said your dad has only ever emotionally abused you not physically.. until today! Today was a new low that you CANNOT give him the chance to repeat!

MsVestibule · 19/04/2017 22:07

game how does you telling the OP how you would have reacted help her?

OlennasWimple · 19/04/2017 22:18

Go NC with your dad

Keep your ex an ex

Focus on yourself for a while - be fabulous

Armadillostoes · 19/04/2017 22:39

HI OP-just another belated hand to hold. Your Dad assaulted you which is about as low as it goes. Your ex sounds like a muppet. You deserve better and will it! Not all human beings are like this!

MsGameandWatch · 19/04/2017 22:47

Because she seems passive and almost accepting of it and used to it. As a person who was physically abused by my parents I was so used to it I needed to be told how bad it was and it was fine to hit back and defend myself.

MsGameandWatch · 19/04/2017 22:49

And that's it's fine to tell people and make a scene. The threatening looks when she went back in really struck a chord with me.

IbizaTieDye · 19/04/2017 23:20

Another hand to hold OP

I definitely think we should be less reserved when reacting to situations - it's not 'making a scene' it's standing up for ourselves!

Chuck the dad, chuck the ex, and focus on yourself and building your self esteem up again - you can't control twats unfortunately but you can control how you react to them. Can you get your phone fixed or replaced? Be kind to yourself Flowers

kingfisherblue33 · 20/04/2017 10:14

He is angry for me and has just sent another email saying that, but that's not much help to me right now. I'm angry too, I wish I hadn't gone to the stupid wedding, but that doesn't make me feel any better.
I just wanted a bit of sympathy.

Flowers OP. Sounds like you need to build a support network you can rely on when you have a bad day.

Maybe you miscalculated when you contacted your dh, hoping he'd be sympathetic. The fact that he wasn't says more about him than you.

Don't think about it any more. Write it off.

I think you need to consider how to move on. Go NC with your dad? If not, why not? Have you had counselling?

What happened when your dad assaulted you? How did you react? That's really shocking - dads are supposed to protect their dc and I find the thought of a man pushing over his adult dd so abhorrent.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 20/04/2017 12:03

If you were just looking for a bit of sympathy and that was your ex's response then he definitely is not the person to get back with. Kick him and your dad out of your life for good and move forward. Neither of them sound like a positive influence at all.

Trollspoopglitter · 21/04/2017 09:12

I got all that from your writing, OP. Including you attending a "family wedding" Whose family if not yours Confused

Italiangreyhound · 21/04/2017 22:02

Agree with OlennasWimple, Arma and others, keep your dad out of your life, keep your ex your ex and find a way to prioritize you in your own life.

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