To try to get cosmetic surgery on the NHS (for DH)

[ShamefulDodger]

Dh is actually my carer, but I want to do something for him for a change.

First I need to find out if it's possible so posting here for traffic sorry

Dh thinks he has one ear much bigger than the other. I couldn't tell you how bad it is because I've never seen it

That's right. In the eleven years I've known him, I have never seen his left ear.

He grows his hair long and ties it in a way that he hides his ear.

He has a baseball cap that he wears at all times. From the second he wakes up until the moment he goes to sleep. It is the first thing he puts on in the morning, before he even gets out of bed.

He won't go swimming. He won't go to any formal occasion or restaurant where he needs to take it off.

He is a kind, loving and gentle man. But if you start talking about the hat or that maybe it isn't that bad and will he let me look he gets incredibly defensive and clams up.

I've learnt from his mother that he was tormented at school and by relatives over it. She said she couldn't spare the money to 'fix him' (but could afford to get herself a gastric band)

I've been saving money for a long time. But as we live on benefits (disabled me and dd) this isn't much. Not enough yet to pay privately to have it done.

I haven't told Dh I'm doing this but he has expressed a wish when he's broken down about it before to have surgery.

I've just been told that he might be able to get it done on the NHS as a neighbour apparently had something done.

I'm not sure how true this is and wanted to know if we'd be laughed out of the gp if we went in.

It will take a lot for Dh to open up about this. I don't want it to be vain.

Really hope he gets it sorted, OP. You both sound lovely

I had something "cosmetic" done on the NHS. And by cosmetic I mean there was no no medical reason to fix it, it didn't affect my physical health, just my appearance.

I felt weird about using the NHS like that, even though much like your DP it massively affected my self confidence, until I was googling stuff and someone online described it as reconstructive surgery. That really resonated with me. It wasn't that I wanted to be perfect, it was that I wanted to be normal/average.

If your DP's ear is as bad as he says then IMO that isn't just cosmetic surgery. However I do agree with PP's that there's a possibility that the ear is not that bad, and it's body dysmorphia which could be harder in a way.

for your DP because it sucks hating a part of yourself to that extent for that long.

Hi OP. I'm sorry to read of your DH's distress over his ear. I am glad he is up for making a GP appointment. If his condition is causing him considerable psychological distress, which it clearly is, then I think there is a good chance he will be seriously considered for corrective surgery on the NHS. My DH has a squint broken nose. I think he is gorgeous and never give it a thought and it doesn't overly bother him either. However he had minor NHS surgery on the inside of his nose (unrelated) and the surgeon offered to have him back in to 'fix' his nose. He declined but it does show the NHS do care about these things. Good luck with it OP. You sound like a lovely caring partner.